bret Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Favre-esque Goat Led To Slaughter In Trunk Of A Car
Mechanics in Minnesota were slightly alarmed this weekend when a woman came in for a new fan belt and then announced that she had a live goat—that was also a effigy of Brett Favre—in her trunk....
Favre's "Gunslinger" Rating In Madden Is Off The Charts
OK fanboys, fess up. When you heard a certain QB was joining the Vikings, the first thing you wondered was what his ratings in Madden will be. Here's your answer, plus Favre's ratings on a few hypothetical categories....
Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...
How To Get A Woman To Start Thinking Divorce At Her Wedding
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Brett Myers Just Can't Stop Being An A-Hole
The Phillies cantankerous pitcher Brett Myers is attempting to bounce back this season to inject life into the team's depleted bullpen, but first he has to let his eye socket heal after it landed on a fist....
Packer Backers No Longer Taking This So Well
Maybe Dash gave you the impression that all Packer fans are being their typical polite Midwestern selves with this whole Favre business. He failed to go where even the most reserved Wisconsinite transforms into a slobbering, bloodthirsty, illiterate neanderthal: Craigslist....
Welcome To The Suck
So we have Viking fans storming Winter Park. We have ESPN following Brett Favre's black SUV via helicopter....
Packer Fans Are A Bubbling Volcano Of Rage
Early reaction from Green Bay: "It just bugs me that he changes his mind." "It's up to him, I guess." "It would make for a fun season." Whoa, whoa. Come back from the ledge, guys! It's only football! [Press-Gazette, Pic]...
Vikings Retirement That Somehow Doesn't Involve Brett Favre
Vikings defensive end Kenechi Udeze is retiring from football so that he can focus on his battle against leukemia. See, if you're having trouble deciding whether or not resume a career, this is an acceptable reason....
Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....
Brett Favre Wants To Let You Know Just How Much He’s Suffered
As usual, King swoops in on the story after all the important details have past, and allows Favre his little soapbox to wallow in self-pity and general shitheadery. Let's hit the first paragraph....
Bears Fans In China Delight In Favrefreude
Fake malls in China sell everything, from pearls of all sorts to No. 4 Vikings jerseys for $16. Oh, those poor diehards in Shanghai, new owners of some high-quality threads. They're in for quite the surprise.(PHOTO: Adam Minter) [MinnPost]...
Some Wishful Thinking At The Dotcom Tonight
Favre passes? First Jim Johnson, now this? O cruel football gods! Wait, it's just a terrible headline? And Brett's alive, but definitely still retired? Thank you, football gods! [H/T reader Seth]...
FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE! FAVRE!
Is staying retired. For now. [StarTribune]...
Your Daily Dead Mets Walking Update
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Minnesota Media Treating Favre's (Pending? Inevitable?) Arrival With Restraint
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune isn't missing out on an opportunity to set purple hearts aflutter, so they've decided the best way to satisfy their wild-eyed readers infected with Favre Fever is to dedicate an entire section to him....
All You Can Eat, With A Side Order Of Cardiac Disease
One $34 ticket to a Twins game gets you a bleacher seat and free food — everything but beer and ice cream sundaes —so fans are loading up for their sleep-induced hibernation until Brett Favre arrives. [AP]...
Brett Tomko Uses Painting To Ease Pain Of Being Brett Tomko
"For me, the best way to move on from [a bad outing] is to get the paints out. Kind of take my mind off the pitching for a few hours and just kind of regroup." [Star-Ledger]...