bro Page 325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Gilbert Is The Whore Of Quicken
Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, the Comic Sans-styled defender of everything holy and Midwestern, runs a business that habitually craps on its employees and customers alike. A business other than the Cavaliers!...

Jim Gray Doesn't Like Being Asked About His Sources
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hines Ward Was Right To Use Brian Westbrook As A Case Study For NFL Concussion Hypocrisy
Hines Ward's well-documented rain-making visit to Dallas Gentlemen's Club has seemingly filled him full of wisdom....

Gilbert Brown's Ladies Will Smother Green Bay With Sexy
The Lingerie Football League announced tonight that Green Bay landed an expansion franchise for the 2011 season. Fans are being asked to suggest team names. Something involving cheese or teet is bound to win....

Cleveland Browns Inspire Impressive Radio Meltdown
A particularly choice radio rant, rivaling Chad Dukes's "Get 'Em" tirade. Best moments: fans are blind sheep and born losers, the owners are the devil, and Al Lerner is "down in hell laughing with Satan." Yikes....

The Other Canseco Got Arrested On DUI Charges This Morning
If this report from the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office is to be believed, Osvaldo Canseco got arrested at 2:13 this morning and blew a .109....

David Brooks Recalls That Time When Athletes Weren't Impressed With Themselves, Which Was Never
"Joe DiMaggio didn't ostentatiously admire his own home runs, but now athletes routinely celebrate themselves as part of the self-branding process," writes Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, who, in addressing the Tucson shootings, trains his surveyor symbols on our national immodesty. Any thoughts, Babe?...

Brook Lopez Curses Out Someone On His Team
Lopez was subbed in with three minutes left in a 3-point game. He missed a jumper and was promptly removed for Derrick Favors. He was not happy, we presume with Avery Johnson. [h/t Ben]...

LeBron Learns About Karma, In Art Form
From the creator of "Tiger Woods Vomiting" comes another masterpiece: a down-on-his-luck LeBron....

Is It Time To Admit LeBron Was Right To Get Out Of Cleveland?
Since November 29th, the Heat are 21-1, while the Cavaliers have gone 1-21. This was the team we expected him to stick around and fruitlessly try to win with?...

LeBron Bashed For Saying Good Things About His Coach Now
Erik Spoelstra was named Eastern Conference coach of the month after the Heat's turnaround. LeBron responded. Not since Descartes, or perhaps Clinton, have so few words been vivisected so utterly and completely....

Elway's Back, Bitches
With the Denver Broncos franchise essentially reduced to rubble, John Elway will face a hell of a lot more than 98 yards versus a Cleveland Browns defense when the team introduces him as VP of football operations this week....

26 Seconds Of Tim Tebow Charming The Pants Off Everyone
On Sunday, Tim Tebow threw for 308 yards and had two touchdowns in a 24-23 come-from-behind win over the Texans. He promptly tweeted a Bible passage and then charmed the pants off everyone in the postgame press conference....

Heat Strokes, Game 32: Kobe, Tell Me How My Christmas Tastes
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

LeBron James Regrets Being Honest, Learns New Word
On his comments about saving good players from crappy teams: "That's crazy, because I had no idea what the word 'contraction' meant before I saw it on the Internet ... That word never even came out of my mouth." [ESPN]...

The Skintight-Lycra-Bodysuit Phenomenon Finds Its Creepy Apex In This Man's Crotch
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Heat Strokes, Game 31: King Of Kings
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Renardo Sidney Is Trouble Off The Court, In Practice, And Now In The Stands Too
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Even LeBron James's Birthday Is For Sale
You think celebrity shindigs just happen? Please. Corporate synergy requires at least 12 slides of PowerPoint....

Don't Worry: In The Event Of An NFL Lockout, Bob Costas Will Still Get Paid
Here's a letter from Mary Cavallaro of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. In it, she assures the NFL broadcasters among her membership that they'll still get paid their current salary even if there are no NFL games to broadcast....