bs Page 116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kris Bryant Nails Top Of Wrigley Scoreboard With 477-Foot Bomb
Kris Bryant has been hitting great since his ignominious introduction to the big leagues. He was batting .282 with six home runs before tonight’s game, and his OPS was 24th best in the majors, which is fantastic for a rookie. ...
Cyclists' Squirt-Gun Attack On PedalPub Cops Results In Six Arrests
The Minneapolis version of a biker brawl involved some cyclists, three PedalPubs, squirt guns, and water balloons, but the results were, in their way, nearly as disquieting as the Waco incident—the thin veneer of society cracked like a cranium under a billy club. It seems Minnesota nice ends when yo...
Jim "Learn The Fucking Rules" Schwartz To Work With NFL Officiating
Who wants Jim Schwartz? The NFL officiating department, apparently....
Brian Matusz Receives 8-Game Suspension For "Foreign Substance"
Orioles pitcher Brian Matusz will be suspended eight games after pitching with a “foreign substance” on his arm during Baltimore’s game against the Marlins on Saturday. The MLB announced the suspension Monday, and Matusz is expected to appeal. ...
Brian Matusz Second Pitcher This Week Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brian Matusz became the second pitcher this week to be ejected after a strategic challenge by an opposing manager after the Marlins accused the Orioles hurler of possessing a “foreign substance.”...
Let's Take A Look At Andrew McCutchen's Pay Stub
Over on reddit, user Grassiii has posted a photo of Pirates outfielder Andrew McCutchen’s latest pay stub. Grassiii says that a friend found it on a recent tour of the visitor’s clubhouse at Wrigley Field, where the Pirates played the Cubs over the weekend. Let’s have a look (you can click the magni...
If You Left Your Credit Card On The Field At Petco, The Cubs Found It
Tsuyoshi Wada came off the disabled list to go 4⅔ quality innings in his first start of the season in the Cubs’ 3-2 win in San Diego, but he racked up a pretty clutch save, too: he found someone’s credit card on the field as he walked off the mound after the third....
Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...
How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...
Citi Field Fan Can't Stop Groping The Woman Next To Him
We’re going to assume these two people know each other, but it still doesn’t excuse this guy trying to cop a feel on the woman next to him while sitting in primo seats for today’s Brewers-Mets game at Citi Field. She’s clearly not into your groping, dude. Don’t grope! ...
Pittsburgh Pirates Lose In Hilarious Fashion
After the Cubs blew a chance to win when Starlin Castro was easily thrown out at the plate in the bottom of the 10th, Chicago made good when Gregory Polanco was unable to handle a similar short popup with the bases loaded in the 12th. In classic baseball scoring fashion, it was declared a single....
Somebody Find Kenny A Milk Crate To Stand On
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Jon "Doesn't Have The Yips" Lester Airmails Throw To First Base
The Cubs say that the media is making a mountain out of a molehill regarding Jon Lester’s problems throwing over to first base, but all available evidence suggests that the man has the yips. Prior to tonight’s game against the Reds, Lester hadn’t thrown over to first base in 66 games, since 2013. To...
Local Cubs Broadcast Intro Is Just A Disaster
The GIF above cycles through some of the graphics that were used in the intro package that led into ABC 7’s broadcast of yesterday’s Cubs game. Did you catch all those errors? Here, let us slow things down for you....
Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...
Dumb Shining Moment: The 2015 NCAA Tournament Lowlight Reel
The ball is tipped Away from the rim They call it goaltending Even though it wasn’t going in ...
Wrigley Field To Be Stocked With Portable Toilets
After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night, the Chicago Cubs are taking steps to replace the bathroom facilities that have been knocked out by the ongoing construction at the stadium. Here come the portable toilets to save the day! ...
"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines
Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...
Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups
We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...
<i>Golf Digest</i> Embraces The Power Of Men Leering At Boobs
The cover of this month’s issue of Golf Digest features LPGA tour golfer Lexi Thompson wearing a—golf towel? Cut up shirt? Weird scarf?—and not much else. It’s the “Fitness & Power Issue,” which I guess has something to do with side boob....