bs Page 150 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Kerry Wood's Emotional Exit From Baseball, After One Final Strikeout
We reported earlier today Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood is retiring from baseball, but the oft-injured hurler promised to make one last appearance before hanging up his cleats. That appearance came today, and it was in a legitimate spot; down 3-2 in the eighth, Wood relieved starter Jeff Samardzija and pr...
Kerry Wood Is Retiring
According to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine, Kerry Wood will retire today. Wood's struggled this year. He's given up eight hits and walked 11, while striking out only five, in nine innings. Until his hiccups this year, and, evidently, his retirement, Wood appeared set for a semi-successfu...
Porn Star Stoya Watches A Stripper Fight For Us: "Wrestling Is More Entertaining With Sparkly Garments"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "STRIPPER FIGHT = ASS." Tonight's commentator: Stoya, aka "International Porn Superstar Stoya(tm)." And, "Incendiary, Quixotic, Sassy" Fleshlighteer. Not to mention a w...
Enough With The Mystical Cubs Bullshit, Please
Can we talk about this? Can we talk about everything wrong with the notion that if the Cubs are to succeed—if they are to finally, evitably win a championship—they have to first tear down Wrigley Field? That there is bad juju on Waveland and hoodoo on Sheffield and black alchemy on Addison and maybe...
Steve Bartman's True Identity Revealed: He's Al Bundy
First, we brought you the Jose Canseco joke that launched a thousand Jose Canseco jokes. Now, we bring you evidence that Steve Bartman is Al Bundy. Or perhaps even more insidious, Bartman was merely a stooge in a wide ranging conspiracy to prove the writers of Married...With Children soothsaying o...
Brewers Closer John Axford Blows Save, Endears Himself To Media Anyway
Normally when a player fails to "take his lumps" or "stand up and face the music" or however else you'd like to phrase "talk to the media after screwing up," he is taken to task. John Axford, however, had a pretty good excuse and let the media know via handwritten message....
The Miami Dolphins Are Looking For A Few Good Grease Porters
Sure, the economy is a little rough these days, but if you've got years of experience working with grease, greasy food, and just unimaginable amounts of greasy things, the Miami Dolphins would you to contact them immediately....
Cubs Ballgirl Caught On Camera Writing Note Was Rejecting Fan's Request For Her Phone Number
The video you see above made its way around the internet in recent days, and had even been sent to us by a handful of tipsters. All we knew was what we saw: A ballgirl at Wrigley Field filling out a note and handing it to a ballpark attendant. Naturally, an expert (read: Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenl...
What This Street Fight Between A Cross-Dressing Hooker And A John Can Teach You About Life
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "ANGRY TRANNY BEATS UP GUY WHO WON'T PAY - MELBOURNE" (with an accompanying news report). Tonight's commentator: Butch Cordora, a fabulous artist/photographer/televisio...
Eyewitness: Being At The Yankees-Red Sox Lady-Fan Fight Was "Kind Of Like Watching A Train Wreck"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Fight!!! Mayhem in Section 328: Why not to wear Red Sox Gear in Yankee Stadium: Round 1 and 2." Tonight's commentator: "David Smith," a seat-shifting fan with a cam an...
Alleged Red Sox Fan Gets Her Face Kicked At Yankee Stadium
Please, sports viewing world, do not judge all Yankee fans by these hooligans with their bootleg name-on-the-back-jerseys, they were just defending themselves from this aggressive alleged Red Sox fan who lost her way. The Yankees may have been listless against the Tigers this afternoon, but these ...
I Was The Child Star Of A CBS Show Who Had Two Free Throws To Win The Big Game
An occasional series featuring our readers' tales of momentary sports glory. If you've got a video of your own brush with athletic greatness, send it to [email protected], subject: Glory Days. Consider this one a very special episode: a former child star reminiscing about his big sports moment on ...
Former NFLer Found Guilty Of Having Sex At Gunpoint With 15-Year-Old Babysitter, Despite His Claim That She Was Totally 16
Nate Webster, a linebacker who played for the Buccaneers, Bengals and Broncos, was found guilty on a split verdict in a Cincinnati court today, for his relationship with the daughter of a Bengals employee....
New Era's "Chicago Vs. Chicago" Spot Is Actually Set At A Hoboken Bar
Official MLB cap provider New Era's launched a series of ads titled "Chicago Vs. Chicago" in which popular character actors Nick Offerman and Craig Robinson argue over the merits of the Cubs versus the White Sox. This debate takes place, as we're led to believe in an establishing shot, in a Chicago...
This Video With A Bunch of Brawling Young Men Is "A Goddamn <em>Lord Of The Flies</em> Snuff Film"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Brawl," or "4:39 of mostly shirtless foreign dudes re-enacting a dust bowl food-ration war of attrition." Tonight's commentator: Your favorite Dead Wrestler of the Wee...
NJ Troopers Under Investigation For Escorting Brandon Jacobs's 100 MPH "Death Race"
New 49ers running back Brandon Jacobs loves him some fast cars. His collection has been featured in auto magazines, and after being booed by Giants fans in October, he responded "I've got nothing positive to say. The most positive thing: I got family at home and I got a fast-ass car being delivered ...
Richard Marx Goes Yard Off Dennis Eckersley, Chicago Cubs Win World Series
I have no idea how I don't remember this video, because I definitely remember the song. Maybe you don't remember it either. Maybe we buried it deep within our collective subconscious....
Umpire Greg Gibson Took A Stephen Strasburg Fastball To The Crotch
Ump Greg Gibson, behind the plate for today's Nats-Marlins matchup, was in a Very Bad Place today when Wilson Ramos mishandled a Stephen Strasburg fastball and deflected it right into Gibson's groin area. Gibson bounced back rather quickly—most MLB umps wear cups when working the plate, after all...
Lucha Libre Cubs Fan Hasn't Won <em>Campeonato Consejo Mundial</em> Since 1908
The Marlins crushed the Cubs 9-1 last night in front of an announced 25,000 spectators, one of which was this Cubs fan in headgear we can't imagine is particularly comfortable in the Miami heat. But hey, at least he got to see this a few times....
Illinois Man Arrested After He Accuses Blackhawks And Cubs Executives Of Stealing His Ideas To Win Championships
56-year-old Emanuel Kuvakos of Burr Ridge, Ill. was arrested on Tuesday night and charged with three counts of misdemeanor harassment by electronic means. At first, we imagine, Kuvakos just wanted to protect his intellectual property:...