bu Page 315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bruins Go Five-Hole For Own Goal
The Bruins were murder on goalies last night, chasing Sergei Bobrovsky with four goals on nine shots in their eventual 5-2 win over the Blue Jackets. They got to Tuukka Rask too, even though he plays for them. Defenseman Colin Miller mishandled the puck and put it right between Rask’s legs for an ow...
The Browns Are Just A Big Fuckin' Bummer
The Cleveland Browns started their night off by burning a timeout before the first play from scrimmage. After they forced the Ravens to punt, two players attempted to field that kick. It got better, briefly, but the Browns started their evening off by falling all over themselves and they never reall...
Report On Voter Intimidation Interrupted By Very Insistent Skateboarder
Tonight Columbus’s WSYX reported live from the scene of where witnesses say Trump supporters outside a polling station have been threatening OSU students with rape if they vote for Hillary Clinton. That would prompt what you’d expect to be a very serious conversation, except for the skateboarder who...
NFL Admits Officials Screwed Over The Bills
The Buffalo Bills got pretty dang dicked over last night during their 31-25 loss to the Seattle Seahawks....
Dan Carpenter's Wife Threatens Richard Sherman's Nuts
Rex Ryan and the Buffalo Bills were fuming after Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman got away with throwing himself at kicker Dan Carpenter on a field goal attempt right before halftime of Monday’s game. Carpenter’s wife Kaela, who grew up in Montana, had a very regional reaction to Sherman’s tactic...
Seahawks Fan Calls Bills Coach "Waitress"; Woman Next To Him Slaps Him
A Seahawks fan said some sexist shit to Bills special teams quality control coach Kathryn Smith as she walked to the field in Monday’s game, but was swiftly reprimanded by the woman standing next to him....
All Hell Breaks Loose On Bills Field Goal Attempt
With three seconds left in the first half of the Seahawks-Bills game, chaos took over....
The 49ers Did Something Smart Yesterday
The one-win San Francisco 49ers have been seriously unwatchable this year, but they competently pulled off a shrewd play in Sunday’s game against the New Orleans Saints. ...
All The Questions The 2016 Campaigns Were Afraid To Answer
As anyone in media will be quick to tell you, this has been one long, grueling election. We’ve seen pope feuds, rigged podiums, and Ted Cruz’s innards. But for all its scandal and intrigue, this election has been largely devoid of one thing in particular: Motherfucking answers....
Some Managerial Moves That Probably Won't Matter Much
Fresh off a sub-.500 season, the Colorado Rockies are reportedly replacing Walt Weiss, who managed the team to no higher than a third-place finish in four years, with Bud Black. Although the hiring has yet to be confirmed, several outlets are reporting based on sources close to the issue. This is fi...
If You're Losing By 96, Maybe Just Let Them Dunk
There is pride, and there is prideful foolishness. Asbury guard Alex Dennis’s decision to try and jump with Kentucky’s Mychal Mulder with 54.6 seconds remaining in a 96-point ballgame was an example of the latter. ...
Billionaire CEO Has A Few More Incredibly Patronizing Thoughts Before Election Day
This presidential election could decide the fate of abortion, immigration, race relations, and nuclear proliferation. What our nation needs now is a patronizing letter from an egomaniac corporate CEO. ...
Steelers Wrap Up Loss With Possibly The Worst Onside Kick Ever
Two weeks after undergoing surgery to repair a torn meniscus, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger returned to the starting lineup today against the Ravens. It did not help, as Pittsburgh turned in an ugly 21-14 loss....
Texas A&M's Playoff Hopes Sink With Upset To Mississippi State
A few days after Texas A&M was given the No. 4 spot in the year’s first College Football Playoff rankings—ahead of Washington, who is undefeated, and Louisville and Ohio State, who each matched A&M’s 7-1 record—they made sure they lost it, falling to unranked Mississippi State....
Here Are Some Young NBA Players Who Are Butt
Many NBA teams have bright, bushy-tailed youths on them. Some of these youths will become cool and good professional basketball stars, but some of them, I am sorry to report, are butt. Here, in no particular order, are some young NBA players who are butt....
Falcons-Buccaneers, <i>Thursday Night Football</i>, LIVE
It’s time again to let the Tecmo Super Bowl computer duke it out to simulate tonight’s Atlanta-Tampa Bay game. Who will win? Tune in to find out, LIVE: ...
Department Of Education Fines Penn State $2.4 Million For Child Sex Abuse Scandal
The U.S. Department of Education announced Thursday the conclusion of its investigation into the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal. Upon review, the department found 11 instances in which the university violated the Clery Act. ...
Bills Fans Come Together, Love One Another (While Keeping Their Clothes On)
Deadspin has published enough footage of Bills fans behaving badly to fill a DVD that would otherwise feature the team’s underwhelming season highlights, and occasionally, other Bills fans grouse about it. Not every Bills fan blacks out and jumps through a shitty table, they say. Some of us are norm...
Trevor Bauer Had The Postseason's Best Baseball Butt
Trevor Bauer has been the Indians’ number two starter this postseason, and in that role he has been severely miscast. He didn’t exactly ask for such a responsibility—injuries to Carlos Carrasco and Danny Salazar necessitated it—but nonetheless Bauer has responded with a 5.54 ERA and 1.69 WHIP in 13 ...