bu Page 540 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Video Of The Knockout Of The Year Getting Delivered In Atlantic City Last Night
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Soccer Mistress Is <em>Not</em> Gonna Be Ignored
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It's Not A Professional Sporting Event In Florida If Two Fans Aren't Punching Each Other On Camera
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....

Requiem For A Kicker: Jeff Reed's Greatest Hits
The Steelers cut Jeff Reed today, after 8½ eventful seasons. We say goodbye to the boozing, the blowout, and, yes, the dong. Join us, won't you?...

For Sale: The Laptop Cam Newton Stole
According to an emailer named "A Person With Connections" the laptop that Auburn's quarterback whipping boy Cam Newton stole from that poor kid in Florida has been recovered and is now for sale on the Scuzz Money Market. Here's his pitch....

Rodeo Bull Jumps Into Crowd, Gets Kicked Out Of Rodeo
The Canadian National Rodeo Finals were this weekend, and boy were they exciting. There was speculation over who would be crowned Miss Rodeo, the inspiring return of barrel racer Benette Barrington, and the rodeo itself, of course....

Fear The Friend Who Makes You Eat Your Beard
Harvey Westmoreland and his bro Joe were always cool with Troy Hold and James Hill. But then they got into a fight about a lawnmower in Lawrenceburg, Ky. I'll let Harvey take it from here....

Auburn Pep Rally Turns Into Sappy Sing-A-Long
Things have been a little contentious at Auburn the last few days, so at a pep rally last night, the community decided the best show to show solidarity and focus on their championship aspirations, and not the current unpleasantness, was a sing-a-long....

Cops Using Steelers Van As Bait
Constables in Western Pennsylvania have had a tough time getting people to open their doors to serve them with arrest warrants. Solution: lure 'em out with the old black and gold....

Small-Business Owner Does Not Appreciate Young Turk Messing With His Bushes
When you have a row of bushes in front of your shop, you want them to look pristine. A well-tended exterior shows your business is also well-tended. It's understandable you'd be upset if skateboarders repeatedly fucked with your shit....

The Cam Newton Scandal Spirals Into Incoherency
So much ink has been spilled in the last 24 hours over Cam Newton, yet so little has actually happened, that we felt obligated to break it all down. Here's hoping this doesn't become a daily feature....

Last Night's Winner: The University Of Florida's Academic Integrity
It's open season on Cam Newton. Since his selection of Auburn has already been indicted as everything wrong with amateur sports, is there anything from Florida we can drag up? As it turns out, yes! A big old term paper cheating scandal....

Auburn Fans React To Cam Newton Scandal By Shrieking At ESPN Reporter
ESPN's Mark Schlabach was one of three reporters on a story alleging that a self-proclaimed representative of Cam Newton demanded a six-figure payment for Newton's signature on a letter of intent. Saturday, Schlabach was outside Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium. How'd fans treat him?...

What The Hell Is Going On During This Burt Reynolds Interview?
So, Burt Reynolds is getting interviewed. That sort of thing happens all the time. But then he starts antagonizing the interviewer. There's laughter—some of it forced—and eventually a question's repeated while two guys carrying a body try to get by....

NASCAR Was Entertaining, Bizarre Last Night
Fistfights on the track, drivers flipping officials off, flying car parts crashing into skyboxes, and monkeys. Not just another night at Texas Motor Speedway. Monkeys!...

Bud Selig Thinks Abner Doubleday Invented Baseball. Of Course He Does.
Is there a better summation of the Bud Selig Era than the fact that the man himself recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'"?...

Now That's What I Call A Buzzer Beater
Down two with two seconds left, Sam Kenny of Kansas's Baker University stole the inbound and threw up a desperation heave from half court. It went in. College basketball is upon us, America. Rejoice. [KCTV]...

Pat Burrell Hook-Up Stories Are Plentiful, Apocryphal, And (Literally) Full Of Shit
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....

You, Dim PR Person, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired, Part 5: Salisbury Edition
PR people are dumb. Not all of them, just some of them. Like this thoughtful individual repping "Voice America Radio" who forwarded us (and many, many sports-affiliated sites) this update on their new client — Sean Salisbury. Sigh....