bu Page 555 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hardworking Underagers Take On Scrappy Bulldogs: UTEP-Butler Open Thread
Another upset special? UTEP coach Tony Barbee is familiar with the Butler program, has the C-USA POY in Randy Culpepper and a talented Pitino cast-off in Derrick Caracter. Butler hasn't lost in 2010. [Unstoppable force, immovable object boilerplate], comments there....

Bills Entice Potential Ticket Buyers With "Punt From Own End Zone" Shining Moment
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Clark Kellogg Renamed The Midwest Bracket The "Bang Bus" Bracket For Some Reason
Clark Kellogg's mind must be in the gutter. Or he has some nefarious plans for Evan Turner and the San Diego State cheer squad. H/t Hernando for the video....

Calipari On Buccigross: "He's A Jagoff"
Kentucky coach John Calipari talked with SportsCenter today. Wrapping up, he had the chance to say something to ESPN's John Buccigross. Calipari proceeds to call him a "jagoff" yet again. H/t reader Tyler for the video....

Let Us Now Savor The Bitter Tears Of Michigan Fans
Current thread titles at MGoBlog's message board: "God Hates Us," "Michigan Hating God," and "At what point do I poke myself in the eye with a stick," which is about the football team. [MGoBlog, h/t BML]...

Evan Turner Shuts Up Steve Lavin With 40-Foot Buzzer Beater
Things were looking good for the Michigan basketball team. Up two, two seconds left in the game; it was in the bag. Steve Lavin said it was the perfect example of why the conference tournaments are so great....

Nerds, Catholics And State Schools Vie For Meaningless Honorific
Here's a pretty fascinating look at which programs can lay claim to being the "winningest" of all time. Rich Rodriguez has a good shot at literally ruining UM's legacy. [Detroit Free Press]...

How To Destroy Baseball In One Easy Step
A special committee has been looking into way to solve baseball's parity problems, and one of the proposed fixes will blow your freaking mind. Picture realignment, every season, based on teams choosing the division they want to be in....

Senate Candidate Only Supports Government Takeover Of Hockey Logos
Oregon Senate candidate Marc Delphine loves America so much that his web team co-opted the Columbus Blue Jackets logo and made it their own. Maybe Columbus can let us borrow their employee health plan too. [Thanks, Matt C.]...

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: Pittsburgh Needs A Leader
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: The Steelers try to solve their current quarterback's character issues....

What's Black And White And Read All Over?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stephen Strasburg Performs Miracle Of Turning 27 Pitches Into Six Outs
Baseball Jesus Stephen Strasburg debuted today against the Tigers and pitched two scoreless innings. He gave up back-to-back two-out singles in the second, finished with a strikeout, and transubstantiated into Miguel Batista. [ESPN]...

Canadians Also Win Gold For Synchronized Peeing
The City of Edmonton charted water consumption during the hockey gold medal game and found that the whole damn town apparently saved its "business" for the intermissions. [Pat's Papers]...

Quarterbacks No Longer Welcome In Ladies' Room At "Millyvegas" Bar
According to a tipster, this sign now hangs on the door of the women's restroom at The Brick, one of the Milledgeville, Ga., bars visited by Ben Roethlisberger on Thursday night. I think it pretty much speaks for itself....

Joe Buck, Wife Decide To Spend A Little Quality Time Apart
Fox's everywhere sportscaster Joe Buck and his wife of more than 15 years, Ann, have decided to "take a break", according to his mother, Carole Buck, who spoke to reporter Jerry Berger....

Academy Awards To Honor Sandra Bullock And Matt Damon For Ending Racism
Tonight's Academy Awards promise to be a delightful several hours of programming. Following in the tradition of classic cinema like Rocky, Chariots of Fire, and The Sixth Man, sports movies are once again strong contenders for major awards....

The Angriest Column No One Will Ever Read
You'll never see so much righteous indignation over a) an uncalled travel in basketball; b) Atlantic Sun basketball; and c) women's college basketball. Might not want to start printing those protest t-shirts just yet. [Florida Times-Union]...

Is This What Happens When You Click CBS' March Madness On Demand Boss Button?
We all mocked NBC for the lonely spreadsheet that would come up if you clicked the "Boss Button." But has CBS taken a step back? According to ace tipster Qumar, yes:...

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...

An Intern Introduction And A Poop-Related Apology
Hello. If you haven't heard, I'm the new Deadspintern (feel free to suggest a nickname). I hope you have enjoyed what I've done so far because it's been a real hoot....