car Page 332 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Which Will Carroll, At The Bottom Of The Sea, Hits Himself With A Hammer
To protect his brittle ribs and gooey lung center, Tony Romo will suit up with a flak jacket made of Kevlar. But if you're like me, you're wondering: how exactly does one use Kevlar to protect oneself? Well, let me tell you: you put it between you and the thing hitting you....

Football Is Even More Exciting With A Spanish Announcer
This is LarryLarryLarryLarry Fitzgerald's 73-yard touchdown from Sunday, as exuberantly described by Gabriel Trujillo of 710 ESPN Deportes Radio in Phoenix. It contains the cadences of a soccer call, and about 800 times the excitement due a Cardinals/Redskins game. [AZCardinals.com]...

C-Roll Stash: In Which Unspeakable Things Happen To A Flagpole At A NASCAR Tailgate (NSFW)
We're almost to the halfway point of the "C-roll" stash and this portion picks up just where we left off last night, with more bleacher boinking and boob-flashing and ice cream cone fellatio coming at you as quickly as the Eddie Van Halen finger-tapping solo accompanying it. Once the song ends, th...

This Evening: Mariano Rivera's First Baseball Glove Was Made Out Of Cardboard (Video)
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 22, the day we learned the rules for using a cell phone on a subway platform. Video via Sports Grid. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

What If HGH Could Cure Peyton Manning?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Carson Palmer Prefers Tailgating At USC Games To Losing More Games With The Bengals
As noted by Larry Brown Sports, it's tough to tell whether that's a can of Tecate or a Coke in Carson Palmer's right hand outside Saturday's Syracuse-USC game. Not that it matters. Palmer had warned the Bengals he'd retire if they refused his trade demand, and the Bengals chose to move on rather th...

Cam Newton, A Quarterback To Build A Dream On
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Rick Pitino Is Introspective About The Big East Exodus, Invokes "Good Old Abe Pagoda"
Because Pitino is the Louisville coach, he's concerned with what Syracuse and Pitt leaving the conference will mean for those left behind. Because Pitino is Italian, he doesn't know how to describe his feelings with anything but a Godfather reference. (Warning: crappy music plays automatically at Pi...

Unemployed WR Terrell Owens Is The Selfish Driver Of A 2003 VW Beetle
"NFL star Terrell Owens was pulled over and cited in L.A. this week for allegedly driving SOLO in the carpool lane ... [A]ccording to law enforcement, once Owens was pulled over ... cops also cited him for an expired registration ... and having overly-tinted windows." [TMZ]...

Stories Like This Confirm That Cleveland Needs Carl Monday Now More Than Ever
"A Cuyahoga County sheriff's deputy was charged today with menacing and public indecency stemming from two summer incidents in the Cleveland Metroparks' Rocky River Reservation. Paul Lawrence, 32, is accused of masturbating in his car on June 12 and following two women on Aug. 29, a day he had call...

Great Moments In NCAA Hypocrisy: How Penn State Defended Its Integrity, Seven Years After It Sold Out (Updated)
There is too much amazing material in Taylor Branch's Atlantic piece about the NCAA for us to handle it all at once, so we're just going to keep pulling shiny gems from the treasure trove whenever a new one catches our eye. So: The piece begins with a scene in 2001 where legendary shoe-company fixer...

Chris Carpenter Was Not Pleased With Himself After Giving Up A Game-Tying Homer Last Night (Video)
The highlight shows Derrek Lee bouncing out harmlessly to end the inning, but Andrew McCutchen had belted a two-run homer on the previous at-bat to tie the game at 4 in the seventh. Golly, Carpenter's reaction is a heckuva lot worse than what Jaws said during Monday Night Football, even if it was ...

How Did Tony La Russa Cost The Cardinals The Game This Time?
A masterpiece of overmanaging in the bottom of the eighth, with two position changes, three pitching changes and an intentional walk that would come around to score the winning run. David Schoenfield has more, but the bottom line is that John Mozeliak should probably decline the option to expand the...

Joe Barry Carroll Refused To Give Up His Seat To A White Lady, Is Now Suing
Everyone can relax: Joe Barry Carroll is back in our lives. The former all-star (which is a generous descriptor for someone who was nicknamed "Joe Barely Cares") is suing an Atlanta bar for racial discrimination for asking them to give up their seats five years ago. The bar maintains that we live in...

SprtsCntr: Merril Hodge Has A New Toy
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Watch Cam Newton's First All Growed Up Touchdown Passes
Cam Newton is doing more than just fitting in with the big boys: He threw two touchdown passes to Steve Smith (for 77 and 26 yards) and threw for 198 yards in the first half against the Cardinals in Glendale. He now has 288 passing yards and is on pace to break Peyton Manning's record for most yar...

Snooki Will Not Wave The Green Flag At This Weekend's NASCAR Race After All
She instead decided to let the brother of a firefighter who died on 9/11 have the honor at Richmond International Speedway. Turns out she has some dignity after all. [From the Marbles]...

Football Coach Says His Team "Don't Need No Meows, No Cats" In Presser Of The Year
David Bennett, head coach of the football team at Coastal Carolina, relayed a message for his team in a press conference on Wednesday. We've transcribed it below so that you can more clearly follow his logic:...

Carl Everett Was Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting A Member Of His Family
And it's not like he has a history of threatening to beat anyone up or doing anything like this before. [MyFoxDFW]...

Oscar De La Hoya Wore A Full-Body Fishnet, Because, C'mon, Who Doesn't After A Few Drinks?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Golden Boy is getting clean and coming clean....