car Page 392 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Winslow Soldiers A Catch, But You Didn't See It, And It Didn't Happen
Tiny tidbits and info smidgens from Week 13 of the NFL ......

The Grand Valley State Mascot Really Loves His Job
OK, I’ve checked the rulebook, and nowhere in there does it say that you can’t hump the goalpost after your team has achieved an important first down. This round goes to you, Grand Valley State mascot. But someday your reign of Div. II goal post-sexual assault will end. Mark my words. ...

Why In The WORLD Do We Root For This Team?
OK, we think we're ready to talk about that horrific Buzzsaw loss yesterday. First off, we absolutely deserved that to happen: Our post last week daydreaming about the playoffs broke every Buzzsaw fan law we know. No Arizona team should ever be favored by 10 1/2 points. Ever....

All Hail The .500 Buzzsaw
If you'll allow us this quick run of self-indulgent postings, we can't quite get over the image of Peter King proclaiming that The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals would make the playoffs. It was like watching someone speak in tongues on national television, albeit with more field hockey refere...

Michigan Bids Adieu To Lloyd Carr
It's official: Several Michigan players went to visit Lloyd Carr in his cage on Sunday and it turns out that the only reason he had been standing up at all is that he had been nailed there. Yes, Carr is an ex-parrot. (And Brian Cook had it first, by the way, despite what "ESPN has learned.") Say wha...

This Is Pretty Much Why God Invented Sports Bars, We Reckon
We don't know what hell like, or who exactly is there (aside from all the sports agents). But here's a pretty good guess: There's nonstop karaoke, the only beverage is Tabasco sauce and at the top of the hour everyone gets hit in the face with a custard pie. That sounds about right. But at a sports ...

Hmm, Who Would Win A Fight Between Herschel And Spurrier?
There's not much more ironically amusing than Steve Spurrier lecturing someone else on sportsmanship, but he's been going after Georgia recently for their big touchdown-pile-on a few weeks ago. He said he'd have sent in a third-string Gamecock to start a fight, therefore getting a bunch of Bulldogs ...


There Goes A.B., Trying To Deny It Again
We know we should enjoy those text messages that are put on the scoreboard during baseball games these days — it's fan participation, after all — but inevitably they just seem like the screechings of teenagers, using a language we cannot understand. But we dont' take them seriously. But then again: ...

That Highly Successful Buzzsaw
We always get a kick out of these occasional "Best Sports Franchises" studies. ESPN does them, The Sporting News has some, we think even MTV did them once. We like them because they inevitably have our Buzzsaw near the bottom of the list. Sometimes even at the very bottom....

Michigan State Is Quite Fired Up About Michigan
Sticking with the Big Ten theme this morning, we'd like to note that new Michigan State football coach Mark Dantonio seems as unhinged as the infamous John L. Smith....

The Mavericks Invite You To Eat Their Dust
Those of you constantly demanding to see Dirk Nowitzki leaning out of a car window while taking a lap at the Texas Motor Speedway can stop your letters and e-mails: Your wish has finally been granted. Of course now that I see it, I have the urge to jump in the car and take my dog for a drive. Come'...

Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the...

One Year Since Pure Bliss
Unsilent's gonna throw up a World Series post in a few minutes, but we absolutely could not let the day pass without commemorating the year anniversary of the St. Louis Cardinals winning the World Series. We were up until 5 a.m. that night and still haven't quite come to terms with what happened. B...

What, No Facepaint?
For a franchise with such a short and unremarkable history the Carolina Panthers sure seem to attract an odd level of devotion. Most recently a curious young couple thought fit to devote their entire wedding ceremony to the team they love so much....

Duke, North Carolina Make It Rain
Back off, people! We know that there's a drought, and you're thirsty. But this water is being saved to drench the synthetic turf at the field hockey stadium. We have our priorities at Duke University....