car Page 402 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Another Reason Baseball Players Shouldn't MySpace
This is CJ Wilson, a reliever for the Texas Rangers, an up-and-comer, a LOOGY, if you will. He also has a MySpace page and is pals with teammate Brandon McCarthy, who also has a MySpace page. They're buddies, along with, as always, an endless supply of buxom blondes who write things like "p.s. you k...
It Is Not Wise To Welch On Mayoral Bets
So here's a bad idea: When you're the mayor of a team that's playing in the NFC Championship game, and you're on the line with the opposing city's radio flagship, it's not a good idea to make promises you can't keep....
Tar Heel Blue Nation Seeing Red Today, Not Surprisingly
A lot of vitriol flowing around the Web this morning, most of it aimed at Gerald Henderson and Duke. But none seemed more perturbed at the roundhouse elbow to the probiscus of Tyler Hansbrough than the Tar Heels men's cheerleading squad, who were in Henderson's face, dude! You do not want to anger p...
Billy Packer, Information Dissemination Specialist
Of all the "Sweet Christ, Billy Packer is so full of equine excrement" moments, we have to say, the "Just Going For The Ball!" foul from Gerald Henderson on Tyler Hansbrough at the end of the Duke-UNC game is definitely near the top of the list. Whatever your thoughts on the reason for Henderson's a...
Just Call Him Twinkletoes
More proof that Tyler Hansbrough seems more like a Duke guy than a North Carolina guy: He gets pedicures!...
David Eckstein Wants To Help Other Dwarves
We've seen World Series MVP David Eckstein in pretty much every possible situation this winter, fooling around with pro wrestlers, showing up in wedding magazines and, of course, chugging tequila straight out of the bottle. So it's inevitable that he'd end up promoting stepstools for really short pe...
Unbagged Heads Prevail
Will told you earlier in the week about the struggles of the East Carolina basketball team, and their fans' plan to show up at the final home game of the year with bags on their heads. As far as I can tell, last night against UTEP, there were no bags (I can find no mention of them)... and the ECU Pi...
Those Aren't Bags: They're Instruments Of Death
The East Carolina Pirates are having a tough year. They're 5-21, 0-13 in Conference USA, they've lost 13 in a row and 19 of their last 20, and they just lost a heartbreaker to Marshall at home. It's not a good time in Greenville....
Checking In Again With Our Daytona Correspondent
Our Daytona 500 correspondent Luke checks in once again, live from the track....
I Am Not Ignoring Today's Race Car Driving Event
I wasn't able to make it to Daytona this weekend, because I have anything better to do... but I did dispatch my special correspondent, Luke....
Reggie Bush Hurts His Ankle, But Not Without A Good Reason
As you might have heard, Reggie Bush suffered a minor ankle injury last night in some sort of lame "basketball" event on ESPN. I don't know who it was he was trying to swat. It was a white guy on the East team, which means it could have been David Arquette, Jamie Kennedy, or Bobby Flay (I think we c...
Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...
We Like To Think Of Jesus As A Mischievous Badger
You might think that Jesus would want you to watch NASCAR, and, doggone it, you'd be right....
Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....
Inside The Awful Illini Car Accident
As most of you have heard by now, two Illinois basketball players — center Brian Carlwell and shooting guard Jamar Smith — were injured in a car accident last night in Champaign. Smith suffered a concussion, but Carlwell is currently listed in critical condition at Carle Foundation Hospital, a hospi...
And THAT'S What Carlos Zambrano Thinks
If you are fortunate enough to root for a team that has an intense rivalry, you probably have someone on the opposing team you raise your level of hate for. Red Sox fans have it for Jeter and A-Rod; Patriots fans have it for Peyton Manning; Raiders fans have it for the rest of humanity. As a Cardina...
What Kind Of Bet Would The Pink Taco Make?
When mayors make their yearly dopey bets on certain sports series — "If the Colts win, you'll give us your deep dish pizza, and if your Bears win, we'll give you some dreary dead-end manufacturing jobs!" — it's silly, but kind of cute, in a "white people in suits trading beans" type of way. But when...
This Looks Like A Job For Jack Bauer
OK, Grandma ... put your hands in the air ... slowly ... step away from the bingo machine ... put down the knitting needles ... we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. It's your choice....
Albert Pujols Knows Who Wrote The Star-Spangled Banner
A few years ago, Red Sox dingbat Manny Ramirez garnered some rare positive press for becoming an American citizen and carrying an American flag through the outfield. Wednesday, Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols became an American citizen by acing his citizenship test, scoring a perfect 100 perce...
Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....