car Page 410 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"You Jackin' It?"
Well, here it is: Carl Monday being bum-rushed on "The Daily Show." The segment is as entertaining as we could have hoped — we love Jason Jones' Monday-esque intro — and, we hope, succeeds in finally crossing Carl over to an America that will never, ever be ready for him....

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
We mentioned this briefly the other day, but we figure it probably deserves its own post....

Yep, This Is Actually Happening
If you're looking for the moment when the Cardinals late-season disgorgement transformed from a local sense of nervousness to a national jeez-that-car-is-about-to-crash fascination, it was last night. The Cardinals lost again, the Astros and Reds both won, the wild-card number is at five for the six...

As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...

Carl Monday, Meet Jon Stewart
You thought Carl Monday, being an Emmy winner after all, was as famous as he could possibly be. But you're wrong: He's about to go mainstream, baby....

Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...

Fox's Sense Of Humor Superior To That Of ESPN
I haven't made fun of Tim McCarver nearly as much I should, recently. I offer this as an apology, and I applaud the Fox network for letting it go. Some other networks seem to have a problem with poking fun at themselves....

Carl Monday Is Being Honored Left And Right, Up And Down, Side To Side
The past two weeks have been plenty good for Carl Monday. Not only was he a charter member of our own Hall of Fame, but he also won ... an Emmy!...

No Better Reason To Get In A Bar Fight Than This One
This pasty fellow, described by Every Day Should Be Saturday as "so aggressively white that bleach is afraid of him," is South Carolina quarterback Blake Mitchell, who was arrested after a bar fight early Wednesday morning....

Being Brad Lidge
We are accustomed, in sports, to one moment changing everything; it's probably the main reason we watch. But it's forever fascinating to see how one moment can affect a human being, morphing them from a dominant force of nature to a scared boy in big pants, alone out there. These moments can't make ...

Perhaps Fergie Can Return Punts
They opened up the Pink Taco yesterday ... and the Black Eyed Peas welcomed a new member....

Mess With The Catman, Get The Claws
If we've said it once, we've said it a million times; when football broadcasters are allowed to attempt humor — especially at Fox Sports — it's all of us who suffer. Coming out OK in the end, though, was Carolina superfan Greg Good, known to all as Catman. Let's wrap up the details for you once ag...

Fortunately, It Was To A National Powerhouse Like Rutgers
The last time we were able to watch our beloved alma mater play in the New York City metropolitian area, it was the Coaches Vs. Cancer Jimmy V Classic at Madison Square Garden. The Illini lost by 20 to Providence and Ryan Gomes. We thought it couldn't get any worse....

Watching NASCAR Kills Six People Per Weekend, And No, It's Not Of Boredom
The Fire Department of New York came out with this neat little statistic yesterday: On average, six people die per weekend at a NASCAR race event. Six people per weekend! Six people DIE, on AVERAGE. What the hell goes on at these things? Do they let Ted Kennedy drive one of the cars? Are there ritua...

NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......

NFL Pants Party: NFC South
Well, no matter what happens with the NFC South, we will always know they have the most adventurous cheerleaders. Nothing to turn up one's nose at....

Hall Of Fame Inductee: Carl Monday
Presenting the final (for now) member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

NFL Season Preview: Carolina Panthers
We are officially one day before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their face...
