cardinal Page 70 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Was Not Done By Aliens
As someone who knows the open spaces and empty fields of the Midwest as well as anyone — we lost our virginity in one, after all — we understand how boring it can get out there, how it can feel as if you have no creative outlet and no one to listen to you....
An Opening Night Loss? No Problem!
On Faith And Fear In Flushing yesterday, Jason Fry wrote that the Opening Night game between the Cardinals and Mets at Busch Stadium last night was lose-lose for the Mets and win-win for the Cardinals. A Mets loss would remind of misery, and a win would just remind of what could have been; meanwhile...
Opening Day Eve, Or Whatever They Call This
Tonight, The St. Louis Cardinals begin their defense of the World Championship. Providing the opposition for the World Champion Cardinals will be the New York Mets, who are not World Champions, and who the Cardinals beat in the NLCS last year en route to a World Championship. On the hill for the Met...
Your NL Central "Preview"
Look, guys: We didn't pick the Cardinals! (We still think they'll win the wild card.) Yes, our flirtation with the Brewers continues; we actually picked them to win the wild card at midseason last year. So there's that....
Strangely, The Statue Is All Natural
See, this is why you should hold off of bronzing your players until they've been retired for a while....
Baseball Season Preview: St. Louis Cardinals
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
Even Geniuses Sometimes Forget To Put The Car In Park
So, you've just won your first non-earthquake-related World Series and are on top of the baseball world. You're preparing your team for a mostly unheard of (these days) title repeat. Everyone over the age of 40 thinks you're a genius, and everyone under 40 can't figure out why you still think it's c...
Dodge Chargers Are Not Free, Gabe Watson
The Arizona Cardinals are loaded with nefarious characters these days. They've got womanizing quarterbacks, prostitute-soliciting assistant coaches, and now, a defensive lineman who sticks his old high school coach with his car payments....
NCAA Pants Party: Louisville Vs. Stanford
Louisville Cardinals (23-9) vs. Stanford Cardinal (18-12) When: Thursday, 12:20 p.m. Where: Lexington...
Louisville Cardinals
1. Time to make the donuts. The Cardinals' late-season turnaround is due in large part to the emergence of Louisville's talented freshman class, including center Derrick Caracter. DC, who has footwork that Greg Oden would kill for, has gotten his act together after serving a pair of suspensions this...
Stanford Cardinal
1. Dynamic Duo. In everyday life, seven-foot Stanford twins Brook and Robin Lopez are mild-mannered freshmen on the Cardinal's basketball team (some say a bit too mild mannered). But while not hiding behind their secret identities, they enjoy writing and drawing homemade comic books. "They draw thei...
The New Buzzsaw Regime Supports Local Business
Richie Anderson, former NFL running back and recently hired as wide receivers coach of the Arizona Cardinals, was finding it difficult to make friends in his new community....
David Eckstein Wants To Help Other Dwarves
We've seen World Series MVP David Eckstein in pretty much every possible situation this winter, fooling around with pro wrestlers, showing up in wedding magazines and, of course, chugging tequila straight out of the bottle. So it's inevitable that he'd end up promoting stepstools for really short pe...
What Kind Of Bet Would The Pink Taco Make?
When mayors make their yearly dopey bets on certain sports series — "If the Colts win, you'll give us your deep dish pizza, and if your Bears win, we'll give you some dreary dead-end manufacturing jobs!" — it's silly, but kind of cute, in a "white people in suits trading beans" type of way. But when...
Albert Pujols Knows Who Wrote The Star-Spangled Banner
A few years ago, Red Sox dingbat Manny Ramirez garnered some rare positive press for becoming an American citizen and carrying an American flag through the outfield. Wednesday, Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols became an American citizen by acing his citizenship test, scoring a perfect 100 perce...
Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....
The Extorted St. Louis Athlete Is... Ronnie Belliard
A little over a week ago, Will brought to your attention a mysterious unnamed player who was the target of an attempted extortion ... his identity was unknown at the time, and this story was a lot more fun then. The player is ... (drum roll)......
Dick Vitale's Attention Deficit Disorder
Some jobs in the world have to be considered a labor of hate; it's a ton of work, it drives you crazy, it's miserable ... but it's existence makes the world a better place....
Buzzsaw Hires The Whiz
Despite initial rumors that had them hiring (ugh) Mike Sherman, Our Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have hired Steelers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt to be their new head coach. The Buzzsaw players can barely contain their excitement....