carl Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo
Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's...
This Is Probably The Worst Beer In The World
From 1973 until 2011, Carlsberg Lager marketed itself as "Probably the best beer in the world." That bald-assed lie made it the shame of Copenhagen, and it led all discerning citizens of the beer-drinking world to question if any Dane could ever be trusted under any circumstance. Of course, sales ...
Rutgers-Michigan Interrupted By Brief Power Outage
The lights went out for about ten seconds at the Crisler Center in Ann Arbor (Mich.) today, temporarily halting a thrilling contest between the 14-15 Wolverines and 10-20 Scarlet Knights. After a short delay, everything was declared all good and play resumed. If only this had been a Temple versus Ri...
Giancarlo Stanton Will Wear This Cool Face Guard
Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton took a fastball to the face last September. It was a scary moment, breaking multiple bones and teeth and ending his season, and Stanton wants to make sure it never happens again. He's going to wear this custom helmet and protective face guard, beginning today....
Rick Carlisle Gets The Business From Rajon Rondo, Reporter
Dallas Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle did not have the best day at the office yesterday. His team came away with a 99-92 victory over the Toronto Raptors, which was good, but he also got into a shouting match with starting point guard Rajon Rondo in the middle of the game, which was very bad. Th...
That Time Jon Stewart Basically Cancelled A Show By Appearing On It
Tucker Carlson was never the same....
Carlos Lobatón Scores Surprising Outside Of The Foot Olímpico
On Sunday we saw Michael Bradley pull off an Olímpico during a friendly, and just two days later it has already been topped. This is the Peruvian Carlos Lobatón hitting an outside of the foot Olímpico for Sporting Cristal, against Cienciano in the Torneo del Inca, Peru's version of the FA Cup....
Some Guy Scooped The Baseball Media On The Biggest MLB Contract Ever
Details about the contract Giancarlo Stanton is signing with the Miami Marlins have started to leak out, and they're staggering: $325 million over 13 years, $50 million more than Alex Rodriguez's landmark 10-year, $275 million deal signed in 2007. The deal also includes a no-trade clause and opt-out...
Carlos Bacca Scores Colombian Equalizer, Sparks Heavy Metal Meltdown
We highlighted Javier "El Cantante del Gol" Fernández's goal calls throughout the World Cup, and we're happy to bring you his especially-emphatic call of Carlos Bacca's equalizer against the United States today at Craven Cottage. (Sure looks like Colombia was offside here, though?)...
The Lakers Won, Can't Win
The hilarious Lakers finally got a win last night, a 107-92 clobbering of the Hornets in Los Angeles. Turns out, all it took to get the Lakers off the hook was nearly an entire week off to prepare to host one of the most dysfunctional offensive teams in basketball. Should be a pretty repeatable fo...
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
Even Carlo Ancelotti Wishes Sepp Blatter Would Shut The Fuck Up
FIFA has released its Ballon d'Or shortlist, which means Sepp Blatter can take time away from his day job of punching up FIFA propaganda and gets to enjoy some of that media facetime he loves so much. Like you, Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti would prefer Sepp spared us his hot takes....
Rick Carlisle's Sorry He Suggested That Chandler Parsons Is Fat
After Chandler Parsons missed five three-pointers in Friday's game, Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle hinted that the forward was a tad overweight. Parsons responded yesterday with a shirtless photo on Instagram (captioned with a pig emoji). Today, Carlisle apologized....
Boxer Gets Punched In The Dick So Hard He Can't Continue, Loses Fight
Last night on ESPN's Wednesday Night Fights, Carlos Velasquez took on journeyman boxer Jean Sotelo. Velasquez was heavily favored, and for the round and a half, dominated Sotelo. Then he punched Sotelo right in the dick....
He's Still Got The Hair
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Giancarlo Stanton's Broken Face Is Improving
Marlins outfielder Giancarlo Stanton has posted an update on his face since Mike Fiers hit it with a fastball Thursday. The image also includes a photo of his face after he was hit. Consider this your warning....
Rutgers Apologizes For Fans' Penn State Signs And T-Shirts
Rutgers AD Julie Hermann released a statement of apology to any visiting Penn State fans who might've been offended by the conduct of some home fans at Rutgers's Big Ten debut on Saturday....
Ronaldinho Called "Brazilian Ape" By Local Mexican Politician
This couldn't be how Ronaldinho imagined his time in Mexico starting. Barely one week into his tenure as Liga MX club Querétaro's new superstar, he has already been the subject of racist statements, and by a local politician at that....
