carlos Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carlos Zambrano Mows Your Hitters Down
A game that was merely a whisper this morning has turned into a primal scream from the massive Cubs ace, Carlos Zambrano. Awash in a sea of Cubs blue at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Zambrano roared back tonight from a forced vacation due to rotator cuff soreness and an August well under his best to sec...
No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh
Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos...
Do Not Mock The Power Of The Taco
In case you haven't noticed, we're into September and the Tampa Bay Rays are still in first place in the AL East. This is no longer a joke, people; they could actually win this thing. The Red Sox relegated to the wild card race? The Yankees, out of the playoffs entirely? How did this happen? The Ray...
The Rays Are Still Leading This Thing In August? What?
Carlos Pena was only halfway through explaining his game-winning, three-run homer during an FSN interview on Wednesday when an unidentified teammate doused him with a bucket of Gatorade. Such is the mood in Tampa Bay, where players are giddy, and people are actually beginning to show up for games. Y...
Carlos Guillen Would Like To Borrow Your Cooling Ointment And A Large Cushion
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of being stricken with a dreaded hemorrhoid flare-up can attest to how painful it is. When it first appears, the general swamp ass-y, hiney spider feeling reaches about a "5" on the uncomforability scale. But the longer it lingers, it quickly shoots up to about a...
Pink Bats, Red Faces; This One's For You, Mom
Here we go, writing about breasts again. Mother's Day was Sunday, and you know what that means: The pink bats were back. And while that's good for the fight against breast cancer, it was bad for the Cincinnati Reds, who just seemed to be horribly disoriented by the unfamiliar flashing colors. I supp...
Your Prayers For More Carlos Mencia Have Been Answered
When someone convinces Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas to reprise their Bob and Doug MacKenzie characters for a beer ad, that's when I'll get excited about a Super Bowl commercial. Until then we've got Carlos Mencia, who will be featured in a Bud Light Super Bowl spot this year. Hey, where's everybody ...
Finally, The Carlos Zambrano Story Can Be Told
We're still reeling a little bit from the news that Carlos Zambrano is the subject of an inspirational biography. It's not that we didn't think he could write (or dictate ... or "be vaguely aware of") one; it's just that we're a little surprised that he had a free hand....
This Potential Chicago Riot Brought To You By The Letter Z
And so we witness the brave veneer begin to crack in the Windy City. The Cubs are still in first in the NL Central — shouldn't that be cause for unbridled joy? — but you'd never know it. Carlos Zambrano had a stinky outing on Monday and was treated to a chorus of boos by the Wrigley unfaithful. Zamb...
Jon Miller Learns Carlos Lee Trivia The Hard Way
We can't always be on our "A" game every single weekend. (Lord knows I'm hoping that's true.) Sometimes the perfect storm of events jar one's concentration just enough to experience a near meltdown. In my case, the day was June 25, 2007. I had locked my keys in a rental car. But keeping it together ...
Carlos Zambrano Needs A Time Out
When you're 8 games below .500, the least you could do is try to be lovable. But the Cubs, 7.5 games out in the pathetic NL Central, can't even manage that....
Apparently, The Warriors Can Lose At Home
In their their preview of the Suns-Spurs series, Free Darko, describing Stephen Jackson and the Golden State Warriors, wrote, "Stephen Jackson doesn't care because he has nothing to lose, and thus is invincible." For the first time, last night, his team looked like it cared, like it had a lot to los...
Jerry Sloan Is Making His Players Cry
The Utah Jazz — our official Western Conference adopted team for the NBA Playoffs, and not just because of Deron Williams and Dee Brown — are in some serious trouble after their loss to the Rockets last night. Utah is down 2-0 in the series — as is Orlando after last night, but no one suspected that...
And THAT'S What Carlos Zambrano Thinks
If you are fortunate enough to root for a team that has an intense rivalry, you probably have someone on the opposing team you raise your level of hate for. Red Sox fans have it for Jeter and A-Rod; Patriots fans have it for Peyton Manning; Raiders fans have it for the rest of humanity. As a Cardina...
Buy Beltran's Helmet (But Not THAT Helmet)
Today's Super Ultra Valuable find on MLB Auctions: An actual NLCS game-worn helmet from Mets center fielder Carlos Beltran....
Everywhere One Looks, It's Beltran
Yesterday, we talked about the 2004 National League Championship Series between the Cardinals and Astros, and how it was the best series we had ever seen. We, stupidly, did not mention the words "Carlos Beltran," which was odd, considering the guy showed up in our nightmares for months afterwards. (...
Today In Soccer...
The Premiership is taking the day off, due to some Euro 2008 qualifying games, and some other international friendlies going down. But the big story right now is Carlos Tevez moving from Brazilian club Corinthians to Premiership team West Ham. A guy like Tevez, you'd think would prefer a bigger club...
The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Do Not Paint Carlos Boozer's House Purple
Things that are hysterical about The Smoking Gun report about a feud between Utah Jazz forward Carlos Boozer and Prince. (Yes, that Prince.)...