cc Page 269 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Neymar Scores Just Three Minutes Into <em>El Clásico</em>
The Ray Hudson orgasm engine cranked up early as beautiful midfield play led to a perfect opportunity for Neymar to put Barcelona up 1-0 on Real Madrid three minutes and change into the match....
Today, <em>El Clásico</em> Is The Only Thing That Matters
For as world-stoppingly important as it feels every time Real Madrid and Barcelona take the pitch against one another, we've actually become a bit inured to them over the years. If it seems like there are about eight El Clásicos every season nowadays, it's because there pretty much are: in the past ...
You'll See This Car Crash Coming And It's Still Intense As Hell
The video is cued for about 30 seconds of buildup, but you might want to watch the whole thing to properly let the tension build. It's two men filming the car in front of them as the driver drifts and swerves. The video ends exactly how you expect it to—which doesn't mean you won't shit your dick wh...
El Clásico Fandom Map: Who Ya Got, Earth?
Just in time for tomorrow's match, Facebook has released its El Clásico fandom map of the world (minus China). The red nations support Barcelona, the white ones Real Madrid. If the two blocs went to war, it'd be a blowout....
Everton Fans Attacked By Up To 100 Hooligans in Lille
Everton fans enjoying an away day in Lille, France were attacked with metal chairs by a swarm of goons, according to the Liverpool ECHO. Everton plays Lille in a Europa League match Thursday night, and with Lille only a five-hour train ride from Merseyside, somewhere around 10,000 fans made the trip...
Marco Reus Reminds The World That He's The Truth
You might've been excused for losing track of Borussia Dortmund's Marco Reus, what with his pre-World Cup injury and the subsequent setback that held him out for much of this season. But today, in just his second game back from injury, he's been so kind as to remind us all what he can do....
Portland Timbers Boss Gets Owned By Supporters Group On Twitter
Tempers were high after the Portland Timbers failed to advance in the CONCACAF Champions League in decidedly unlikely circumstances. The Twitter account of the Timbers Army, the franchise's supporters group, vented about the lack of defensive reinforcements brought in, spurring the franchise's own...
I Am Fascinated By This Soccer Fan Who May Or May Not Be A Zombie
The photo above—first flagged by Cork Gaines on Twitter—was taken on May 21, 2003, before Celtic took on FC Porto in a UEFA Cup match in Seville, Spain. My first reaction to this photo went like this: "Wait, I think that purple-faced guy might be dead." Then I went looking for more photos of this du...
Paris Saint-Germain Are Bullshit
We can't keep letting PSG do this. Yesterday, the French giants took on Cyprian giants/world ants APOEL in Champions League play. This was a match even schizophrenic PSG couldn't muck up, right? No. Instead of a dominating performance on a day full of them, we saw another typically lackadaisical dis...
Romell Quioto Golazo Puts Olimpia Up On Timbers Two Minutes Into Match
CONCACAF Champions League action resumed tonight, and MLS's Portland Timbers traveled to Honduras to take on Olimpia—where they were greeted just moments into the match by this over-the-head flip goal by Romell Quioto....
Man City Takes On CSKA Moscow In Empty, Eerie Stadium
Manchester City traveled to Russia today to take on CSKA Moscow in a Champions League match, and the two sides are currently playing in an entirely empty stadium because CSKA fans were banned from attending for being racist all the time. ...
Report: To Escape Qatari Heat, World Cup Matches Might Start At 1 A.M.
Despite overwhelming evidence of corruption, it doesn't look like Qatar will be losing its 2022 World Cup hosting privileges. Which still leaves that little problem of how to play in the heart of a Middle Eastern summer. One new proposal involves pushing back start times into the night and early mor...
This Shameful Display Of Mass Injury-Faking Is The Pinnacle Of Diving
Here it is, soccer haters. If any of you needed that one crucial piece of evidence that the sport's players were a bunch of diving, playacting wimps, this video showing five Defensor Bolívar players faking injuries, forcing the ref to end the match eight minutes early, should be just what you've ...
Tony Romo Calls Out LB Jameel McClain As The Mike; McClain Disagrees
Quarterbacks call out the Mike linebacker all the time in football. The purpose is so the offensive line knows which defensive players to block, using the Mike as a starting point. (Here's a quick, good explanation for the unfamiliar.) When Tony Romo identified Giants linebacker Jameel McClain as ...
Smoke, Flares, Riot Police In Belgrade Derby Make For Haunting Photos
Partizan and Red Star met today for the premier rivalry in Serbia's SuperLiga. The fan atmosphere was the real star. From these photos, you can see the countless flares billowing unending stacks of smoke into the stands and on the pitch, all in front of the numerous riot police. It all combines for ...
Lionel Messi Almost Scoring Is More Impressive Than Most Actual Goals
A player broadly similar to Lionel Messi might've been what Johan Cruyff imagined Barcelona would produce after implementing his philosophy, but not even the Dutchman could've foreseen this Argentine's specific genius. I mean, try to prevent your jaw from dropping when he merely gets close to scor...
Alex Morgan Out Of World Cup Qualifying After This Nasty Ankle Injury
Alex Morgan will miss the rest of the USWNT's World Cup qualifying matches because of a sprained ankle she picked up during Thursday's game against Guatemala. It's an unfortunate set-back for a player with a history of ankle injuries, but thankfully it doesn't look as serious as it could've been....
Chelsea's Brilliant Team Goal Is The Best Of The Season
We knew what we were seeing last year when Jack Wilshere finished off that intricate Arsenal move, and we know what we saw today: the best team goal we're going to see in England this season....
Sunderland Defender's Exquisite Volley Makes For Wonderful Own Goal
Above, Sunderland's Santiago Vergini shows off some impressive technical ability as he takes a bouncing ball and cracks it past the keeper. It would've been worthy of his personal highlight reel, if it hadn't been aimed at his own net. But for an own goal, this was a beaut....