cc Page 364 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rich Bros' "Ragematch" At Elite Athletic Club Leads To Arrests, Shame
The New York Athletic Club is the most prestigious private sports club in the country. It was founded in 1868, costs $8,000 to join (plus $3,000 more every year), and has produced more than 230 Olympic medalists. And yet, even the hallowed halls of this architectural landmark aren't immune to good ...

Fernando Torres's Goal Drew Orgasmic Moaning From Gary Neville
It wasn't so much that £50m man Torres scored a goal — though, holy crap, Fernando Torres scored a goal! — as it was Chelsea completing a 10-man comeback and 45-minute stand against Barcelona in the Champions League semifinal. But Gary Neville, working the game for Sky Sports, was driven to what c...

John Terry Was Sent Off From The Champions League Semifinal After Pulling A Metta World Peace
Minutes after Barcelona scored to tie the aggregate at 1-1, Chelsea captain John Terry was sent off for one of the dumbest stunts seen in the Champions League in years: kneeing Barça striker Alexis Sánchez in the back....

Better Know An Umpire: Vic Carapazza
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Italian Soccer Match Delayed When Fans Demand Players Hand Over Their Jerseys
Today's Serie A match between Genoa and Siena was delayed for 30 minutes when Genoa supporters, angered by the team being down 4-0, took matters into their own hands. As reported at Goal.com:...

Manchester United Blew A Two-Goal Lead With Ten Minutes Left To Hold Open The Premiership Door
A win over Everton today would have virtually assured Manchester United yet another Premier League championship—and given the Red Devils were playing at home against a team that has never beaten them in the EPL hasn't won an EPL match at Old Trafford in 20 years, it should have been a lock....

McCarve'd Up: Your Weekly Look At The Stupidest Things Tim McCarver Said During Saturday's Game
MLB on FOX lead analyst Tim McCarver is entering a new phase of his career: the one in which he must be referred to as "Hall of Fame broadcaster Tim McCarver." Thus, we enter the 2012 baseball season wondering if McCarver might actually step up his game and provide color commentary worthy of such a...

Soccer Is Not Like Sex
I'm going to let you in on one of the secrets of the internet: people like clicking on things about sex. Like, maybe you wandered over to the Fox Sports home page today, and you saw the headline "Score! European study says soccer like sex for fans." You probably clicked on it! I know I did....

Barcelona Broke Down At Just The Right Times To Let Chelsea Escape With A 1-0 Champions League Win
Chelsea walked away with a 1-0 win in their home leg of the Champions League semifinal with Barcelona today, putting a stumbling block in the road of Barça's attempt to defend their CL title. They did this despite being dominated at nearly every aspect of the game, thanks to Barcelona's failure t...

The Eternal Question: Can You Get A Boner From A Girl With A Great Body And Ronaldinho's Face?
Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is charged with paying for sex with an underage stripper, and that's just about the least interesting aspect of his trial. Consider: stripper nuns (one of whom is now a politician, of course.) But there's a sports angle here, and it's gross....

Italian Soccer Player Dies After Collapsing On The Pitch
Italian league matches were suspended today across the country after the horrifying news that Piermario Morosini, a midfielder for Livorno on loan from Udinese, had collapsed on the pitch with a heart attack and was pronounced dead at a hospital. He was 25....

German Soccer Trolling Is The Best Trolling
In a match that may be the deciding factor in the German Bundesliga title race, Borussia Dortmund seized a 1-0 victory over Bayern Munich when keeper Roman Weidenfeller stopped Arjen Robben's penalty in the 82nd minute, leading to an extraordinary (and ballsy) act of trash-talking from Serbian de...
![Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]
We've written here before about how spectacular La Liga goals can bring GOLTV analyst Ray Hudson to orgasm, but today's free kick goal by Cristiano Ronaldo against Atlético de Madrid earned Hudson's description of an orgasm....

Soccer Player Takes Photo With Adorable Child—And <i>Playboy</i> Magazine He Just Bought
Panamanian defender Felipe Baloy plays for Mexican side Santos Laguna, and when approached by a charming little tyke decked out in full Warriors uniform, he happily knelt and posed for a photo. So did Ms. Jackeline Arroyo, cover model for the March issue of Playboy's Mexican edition....

Pepe Dives, Announcers Laugh
This happened Sunday, but it's the first we've seen of the feed involving the announcers from the UK's Sky Sports. At the 12-second mark, Pepe is tackled by Valencia's Pablo Piatta. The commentators are totally ready for what comes next, but they still can't contain their glee....

Mario Balotelli Won't Be Doing Things On A Soccer Pitch For Awhile After A Shameful Sunday Display
Mario Balotelli's season is likely over, as is his career with Manchester City after a reckless display at Ashburton Grove during City's 1-0 loss to Arsenal yesterday....
![Peanuts, Cracker Jack, And Chaw: This Young Rangers Fan Is A Spitting Image Of Dad [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Peanuts, Cracker Jack, And Chaw: This Young Rangers Fan Is A Spitting Image Of Dad [UPDATE]
It's just a few days into the baseball season, but we're already reminded that some of the best action takes place in the stands, not on the field. Here's an example, as a young Rangers supporter takes after his father both in physical resemblance and, it appears, in the use of smokeless tobacco....

Mario Balotelli Does Things (Including Wayne Rooney's Prostitute)
It's been a banner week in Super Mario World. Saturday, Balotelli scored two goals, fought over who got to take a free kick, was offered for sale by his manager, did or didn't get in a postmatch fight in the locker room, and yesterday, crashed his Bentley in Manchester....

Swansea Played The Prettiest Soccer Game Of The Year (And Lost)
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Dodgers Owner Magic Johnson Is Not Thrilled About His Opening Day Seats
Guess you can't tell which one of these gentlemen just made an almost-$1 billion profit by selling a baseball team, and which one just saw his Cy Young Award-winning ace leave the game with the flu....