cc Page 376 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Landon Donovan, David Beckham and Robbie Keane Team Up For Goal That Won The MLS Cup
The LA Galaxy defeated the Houston Dynamo 1-0 tonight to win the MLS Cup....
LeGarrette Blount Steamrolls The Green Bay Packers Defense
There's really not much to add to this. He even gave us the obligatory faux Lambeau Leap....
Sepp Blatter "Deeply Regrets" Suggesting That Racism In Soccer Can Be Settled By Handshakes
Last week, for the 739th time, there were calls for Sepp Blatter's resignation following a fresh round of insensitive remarks from the FIFA president. In two separate television interviews, Blatter denied that there was any racism in soccer and then suggested that players settle their differences ...
The MLS Goal Of The Year Is Incredible For Any League
Remember the name Darlington Nagbe: it's a wonderful name. But also because the Liberian-born, Ohio-raised midfielder was the second overall pick in this year's MLS draft, and scored his first career goal for Portland on this amazing juggle and volley in July. Today it was named the MLS Goal of th...
A Beautiful Soccer Goal That Results In A Not-So-Beautiful Celebration
Your morning roundup for Nov. 15, the day we learned about Ronald Reagan's sex life. Video courtesy Dirty Tackle, via Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Don Johnson, The Champagne King And The Beast Of Blackjack, Has Once Again Punished An Atlantic City Casino
After a few months of suspiciously restrained behavior, blackjack savant Don Johnson has returned. He was spotted in October in Atlantic City stuffing fistfuls of casino chips into his gullet. Just grinding them up between his world-class molars. No, I made that up. He was actually cashing in fistfu...
Colt McCoy Gets Sacked, Chucks The Ball At The Rams Twice, Gets Away With It
Your morning roundup for Nov. 14, the day we learned airport security stops terrorists, not kleptomaniacs. Video via Michael L. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Admits To Catching A Beating From Oguchi Onyewu
In AC MIlan striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic's new autobiography, he describes his 2010 brawl with Oguchi Onyewu. Ibrahimovic may have a black belt in taekwondo, but Onyewu has a black belt in hurting Swedes: "[T]he two players 'wanted to destroy each other,'... 'I'm not talking about a small row,' Ibrahi...
Tampa Bay Will Take In Albert Haynesworth
ESPN's Adam Schefter reports that the Tampa Bay Bucs have claimed Albert Haynesworth just a day after the Patriots released him (sentimental Belichick: "It just didn't work out"). This is an experiment that is almost proven to fail by now, but perhaps the warm air will be good for him. [Twitter]...
Two Members Of An Extremist Right-Wing English Group Occupied The Roof Of FIFA Headquarters Today
Security must not be very tight at FIFA headquarters in Zurich because two members of the notorious right-wing English Defence League took to the roof of Sepp Blatter's palace to protest FIFA's recent and—it must be acknowledged—very stupid decision to prevent English players from wearing embroidere...
Twitter-Obsessed Soccer Player Gives Child Very Unfortunate Name
Gabriel Zakuani is a Congolese defender for Peterborough, who had a cup of coffee at the top level but couldn't quite cut it. But he's given his son a name as stupid as any Premier leaguer's child....
The Autumn Years Of Bill "Spaceman" Lee
Paul Flannery drove many miles from Cambridge to Burlington to find out what one of the more colorful characters in baseball history is up to in his old age. It seems Bill "Spaceman" Lee hasn't slowed down a bit. Lee throws over 200 pitches in a 14-inning senior league game, wears Russian baseball j...
A Sampling Of Comments ESPN.com Has Not Deleted On Stories That Have Nothing To Do With OccupyTebow
We're all still warm from the glow of the uprising that sent ESPN.com's commenter police into retreat—a remarkable, joyful march that continues unimpeded even as this is being typed. At the same time, we couldn't help but think of those comments ESPN's moderators have allowed to remain attached to ...
This Is Why You Don't Ask A Professional Athlete To Be A School "Reading Champion"
I absolutely cannot think of a better inspiration for getting schoolchildren to read than by choosing a man who got very rich without ever having read a book in his life....
Persian Awakening In Perry Hall: Uptight Mullahs Forced To Reverse Decision On Soccer Team's Bernie Dance
Yesterday, we brought you news that the Grand Ayatollah of Perry High School in Maryland had cancelled the boys varsity soccer season after players did the Bernie on the field. The dance was deemed "unacceptable" by the Grand Ayatollah, who also goes by the name Principal George Roberts....
The Stupid Moral Panic Over Mocking Tim Tebow; Or, What Would Jesus Do About Tebowing?
Oh, please. You know why Tebow memes exist? You know why they've, let us say, gone forth and multiplied? Because of columns like this, that's why. Here's the headline:...
Jurgen Klinsmann Needs 90 Words To Say Nothing
With friendlies against France and Slovenia looming, the U.S. men's soccer team will start getting blooded against stronger competition. Jurgen Klinsmann continues to tinker with lineups and test out new players, so we can't fault him too much for the 1-1-3 record he's compiled to date. But don't th...
Uptight Mullahs Punish Soccer Team For Gyrations They Deem Indecent
No, not the Iranians. The Patch site for Perry Hall, Maryland, reports that the principal of Perry Hall High School shut down the boys' soccer team after the players celebrated a playoff victory by doing the Bernie on the field. Principal George Roberts declared that because of the dance exhibition,...
The Iranian Soccer Players Who "Groped" Each Other After Goals Could Face Public Lashings On The Pitch
On Saturday, Persepolis F.C., a soccer club based in Tehran, scored a goal against Damash Gilan. After the goal, the players gathered to celebrate, as players will do. One of the players, Mohammad Nosrati, sorta stuck his hand in the ass-balls region of one of his teammates, Sheys Rezaei, as playe...
CNN Cuts Short Its Awkward Interview With John Carlos Because Of Technical Difficulties
Former Olympian and current human rights crusader John Carlos has a new book out with The Nation's Dave Zirin, which we excerpted last week. Carlos has been lending his support to the Occupy Wall Street movement, and this morning, CNN booked him for an interview with Kyra Phillips. The conversatio...