cc Page 407 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch This Soccer Team Miss And Miss And Miss And Miss And Miss Again
A certain member of the Spoiler offices could be quite clearly heard attempting to disguise hysterical laughter by very occasionally coughing as if nothing remotely weird was happening. Just business as usual....

Cristiano Ronaldo Breaks Real Madrid Goal-Scoring Record
When you sign Cristiano Ronaldo, you don't just get an oily gentleman who looks like he belongs on the Jersey Shore, you also get goals — absolutely loads of them....

All Of Edin Dzeko’s Goals From Last Season … In 2-D!
Unless people are making it all up for a laugh, the big news is that the robed men at Man City have splurged another £30 million on hot European property — this time, Edin Dzeko of playing-for-Wolfsburg fame....

Hey Sara Carbonero! Stay Away From Cristiano Ronaldo!
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Last Night's Winner: Big Ten Refs Grab The Spotlight
It's rare when we even notice which conference's refs are working bowl games. So the Big Ten crews at the Music City and Pinstripe Bowls must have been doing something right. Or wrong. Or both....

Ashley Cole Punched In The Underpants By Google
For all that is totally brilliant about modern technology, all this advancement has a downside. Notably that it's now damn near impossible to casually steamroller a whole host of women behind Cheryl Cole's back and ever have the whole mess forgotten about....

Man U, Birmingham Settle Draw With Funny Face Contest
United's Anderson and City's Barry Ferguson got involved in some extracurricular shenanigans en route to the Red Devils regaining the top spot in the Premier League. And, yes, their mothers were right: their faces froze that way....

The Spoiler’s Premier League Team Of The Season (So Far)
As is tradition, The Spoiler shall start with the bad news — only ONE player from our "Predicted Team of the Season" compiled in early August looks set to make the XI once the league is done and dusted....

Is MLS Actually Doing Something Better Than European Soccer?
Arsene Wenger thinks the Premier League offseason should be in the winter rather than the summer. Well, it'd do wonders for Blackpool's tourist-heavy attendance....

10 Extremely Biblical-Looking Footballers
Of course, most of the nation will spend the weekend embroiled in sprouts, drinking heavily, and most definitely not sitting down to rewatch Mel Gibson's incredibly inaccurate and rather over-the-top remake of The Life of Brian....

And The Crowd Pelts The Corner Kicker With Snowballs …
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Man U And Chelsea Won't Be Playing Today
As English Premier League games go, Man U/Chelsea is big. Man U's in first. Defending champion Chelsea's three points behind in fourth....

The Best (And Only) Futsal Goal You'll See All Week
A ridiculous sport calls for a ridiculous goal. Portuguese indoor soccer player Ricardinho makes with the move I'm sure there's a name for, but I'll just call the reverse floppy dolphin kick....

Polish Fans Break Out The Flares For Five-A-Side Under-12 Team
We've all been there — in the pub, going round the table, explaining who you support....

Everyone At Real Madrid Hates Cristiano Ronaldo
The next few times Cristiano Ronaldo scores a goal and starts doing his "I'm great, me!" celebration shtick, look closely. What's wrong with the picture? Oh yeah, that's it....

Fan Takes Ball To The Head, Loses Skullcap
This from yesterday's Club World Cup match in Abu Dhabi. We see your hoisted hairpiece, and raise you one toppled taqiyah....

How Low Can Joe Paterno Go? What Coaches Do When They Hang Out
Former Texas A&M Coach R.C. Slocum seems like a stand-up guy. That's why we think he won't mind us highlighting some of his favorite photos through the years, as posted on his Facebook page....

Ref Takes Ball To The Head, Loses Toupee
Your guess is as good as mine as to where this comes from. All I know is that ref will keep a closer eye on clearances in the future, and maybe consider a stronger adhesive....

Dutch Soccer Prank War Continues With The Old "Ball Made Out Of Cake" Trick
When last we saw the Dutch National Team eating lunch in a warehouse, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar wrecked Ricky Van Wolfswinkel with a ball and some conveniently placed air ducts. Revenge time....

Sepp Blatter Suggests Gays Should "Refrain From Sex" At Qatar 2022. Dick.
This post, written by Richard Gilzene, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....