cc Page 412 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Balaclava-Clad Man United Mob Lays Siege To Wayne Rooney’s House, Makes Death Threats
The following is a special presentation of The Spoiler. Wayne Rooney signed a new deal with Manchester United today, however, news of what transpired last night is juicy, funny, a little frightening, and could hold the reason for his change of heart....

Peruvian Soccer Players Faint After Being Drugged By Rivals During Game
During a match for promotion to the top tier of Peruvian soccer, one team handed the other "energy drinks." How friendly. Four players collapsed, and the drinks turned out to contain tranquilizers....

Gareth Bale Can Still Beat Inter Milan On The Aggregate
Elderly midfielder Javier Zanetti became the oldest goalscorer in Champions League history when he opened proceedings after just two minutes, and Spurs found themselves 3-0 down within a quarter of an hour after keeper Gomes was sent off for bringing down Jonathan Biabany....

Most Metal Pilot Of All Time Flies Soccer Team To Italy
Iron Maiden's frontman Bruce Dickinson's a pilot—he even moonlights for an airline! I had no idea—but I didn't know there was an Iron Maiden plane either. What I do know: it's badass he flew Liverpool FC to Italy....

AC Milan-Real Madrid Match Interrupted With Fan On The Field Zaniness
Infamous pitch invader Jimmy Jump—not to be confused with the Laurence Fishburne chraracter from the Schooly D-heavy King of New York—claimed another scalp last night during the titanic clash between AC Milan and Real Madrid in the Champions League....

Backheel Goal Scorer Returns With More Fancy Goal Scorin'
Another all-worldie from Irish striker Matty Burrows of Glentoran FC. The terrible goalkeeping sort of takes the shine off this one, though....

Junior Seau Drives Off Cliff After Being Arrested
Junior Seau was arrested for domestic violence last night. Following his release, he drove his SUV off a cliff in Carlsbad, California. Now he's in the hospital. TMZ has a picture of the car. This story sounds...odd [PFT]...

Coach Would Rather Players Sleep Around Than Drink After Games
Roberto Mancini has made Eastlands the new preferred destination for football's top womanizers, after ordering his Manchester City players to put down their pint glasses and instead wrap their hands around a nice pert boob....

Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
And so the Colt McCoy Era begins as Cleveland visits Pittsburgh. What a seminal moment....

Here's Video Of A Goalkeeper Scoring A Game-Tying Goal In Stoppage Time
Fundamentally, the goal William Hesmer scored in yesterday's Columbus Crew/Toronto FC match wasn't anything special. What was special is that the Crew's keeper registered only the second goalie-goal in MLS history. Also, there were playoff ramifications ......

Let's Talk About How Being Comatose Feels
As you may have seen on Gawker yesterday, MTV Real World/Road Rules Challenge host TJ Lavin took a terrible spill at a BMX event in Vegas on Thursday and is now in a medically induced coma....

Here's The Last Picture Taken Of A Former President Before Nolan Ryan Turned On Him With Arms Named "Power" and "Glory"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Soccer Team Signs 11-Year-Old
Premier League champeens Chelsea have negotiated a £10,000 + add-ons deal to sign an 11-year-old striker from League Two club Northampton Town....

Police Find Serbia’s Infamous Masked Hooligan Hiding In Bus Luggage Compartment
By now we're sure you've already seen video of the hooligan-inspired trouble which forced Tuesday's Euro 2012 qualifier between Italy and Serbia to be called off after 7 minutes....

Lionel Messi’s Goals Look Just As Good Written Down
Here's the original version if you like your words to come with moving pictures....

Scary, Ski-Masked Serbian Homophobes Disrupt Euro Cup Qualifier
Tuesday's Italy-Serbia Euro qualifier was called before it began when rioters, protesting the Serbian government's offer to protect a gay pride parade, burned flags, lit flares, and did other rioty things. [SB Nation]...

Man Gets Full Football Jersey Tattoo To Honor Team Icon
The poor bastard in the chair is Felipe Alvarez, an Atletico Nacional supporter who has decided to pay homage to murdered club legend Andres Escobar by having a replica Atletico shirt tattooed across his torso, complete with Escobar's number on the back....

Montenegro Striker Loses His Shorts In Goal Celebration
Montenegro met Switzerland in Euro 2012 qualifying on Friday with Roma striker Mirko Vucinic scoring the only goal of the game, a dinked 68' finish....

Tony Gwynn Has Cancer, Blames Chewing Tobacco
Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn is about to start radiation and chemo for parotid cancer discovered last month. He says the doctors told him "they feel they caught the cancer early and there was not much of it there."...

Today In Neo-Nazi Youth Sports News...
Any story that describes its protagonist and/or antagonist as a "52-year-old who sports an Adolf Hitler-style moustache and a mullet" and "master chimney sweep," but isn't about pre-haircut Bill Cowher, is worthy of closer inspection....