cc Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just Two Horsemen Shy Of An Apocalypse
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Tiger Woods Scandal Opportunist Of The Day: Spanktravision
This is the screen now greeting lonely businessmen in hotel rooms across America. Holly Sampson, you might remember, was the actress (MILF Bone 4, Suck It Dry 6, Matlock) into whom Tiger once sank his "perfect" teeth. [Wei Under Par]...

Togo Withdraws From Tournament After Machine-Gun Attack; 4 Dead, Reportedly
Togo has pulled out of the Africa Cup of Nations, with perhaps other teams to follow, in the aftermath of Friday's attack by Angolan separatists. A backup goalkeeper, two staff members, and the driver all were killed, the Guardian reports....

Does Anyone Have Leverage In The Threatened MLS Lockout?
It's true that MLS players work under conditions that would be intolerable in any other sport. But it's also undeniable that MLS is a niche league that might not survive a prolonged lockout....

Landon Donovan Wants You To Win The Mexican Lottery
I'm pretty sure this commercial is racist, but I'm not certain who should actually be offended. Landon Donovan's Spanish teacher would be a good place to start. [SportsRubbish]...

Manchester United Haters, Rejoice
It had been an exceedingly boring FA Cup, with all the favorites going through. That is, until about an hour ago. Mighty Man U fell to a League One side, and not just any side: Leeds, their historic rivals....

This Tiger Woods Thanksgiving Night/Plastic Surgery Email Is Officially Out Of Control
406-year-old former columnist Furman Bisher has kicked this goddamn Tiger email into overdrive. Even Perez Hilton is pushing it out there now. Take a look at how all of this started — and let's find the perpetrator, please....

Bulgarian Soccer Wives Narcing On Their Husbands
Bulgaria's soccer stars have been filing tax returns claiming they make the league minimum, and the Bulgarian IRS is investigating. But who tipped off the feds? Their WAGs, flaunting their wealth....

John McCain is Pursuing His Hobbies in His Old Age
Apparently John McCain is a really big boxing fan to the point where HBO wanted him to "mediate the drug testing dispute" between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. Can I start hoping for Sarah Palin as ring girl? [ESPN]...

Tiger Woods Accident Story Becomes Latest Email Hoax Your Dad Will Send You
Many of you have probably received a forward from a friend-of-a-friend who knows an Isleworth resident with the "real" story about how Elin and Tiger's Thanksgiving night battle went down. Here's what the bullshit story looks like....

Barca Complete The Sexfecta
Barcelona go seis por seis, winning every single club title this year. That's like the Steelers winning the Super Bowl, other countries actually playing football, and then Pittsburgh beating all of them. [CNN]...

You Will Be Shocked To Learn The Lingerie Football League Is Not A Classy Operation (UPDATE)
The Smoking Gun has revealed the Lingerie Football League to be a cheap, exploitative outfit that behaves goonishly toward its own athletes, which is acceptable in America only if you're the NFL....

Forget It Jake. It's Dodgertown.
The Frank McCourt divorce gets more bizarre by the day. After last week's mini-scandal featuring a homewrecking chauffeur and the Taiwanese goverment, I have to wonder why this isn't the biggest sports story going....

Tiger Played The Senior Tour, Too
Your evening Tiger Woods roundup: Everyone meet Theresa Rogers, paramour No. 14, who at 40-something years old represented a bit of an uphill lie for young Tiger....

Eritrean Soccer Team Apparently Not Big Fans Of Eritrea
A dozen members of Eritrea's national football team mysteriously "disappeared" after playing in a tournament in Kenya. (Not because of foul play. They are presumed to have defected.) Have they tried looking in Mozambique? [Guardian]...

Everyone Talking About Tiger Woods, Except People Paid To Talk About Professional Golf
CBS golf commentator Ian Baker-Finch to The Sydney Morning Herald: "Mate, if I say one word about Tiger I will get fired." Maybe he could just whisper? [SMH]...

Last Night's Winner: This Guy?
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like this Mozambique soccer fan, who is thrilled....I guess? He's either elated or just got hit with a cattle prod. It could go either way....

You Can't Have A Conversation About Tiger Woods Without Mr. Belding
I've noted the omnipresence of Mr. Belding at many sports star-attended events before, so this is not surprising. TMZ dug up this photo of him with Tiger-wrangler Kalika Moquin. Oh, and the NYP gets in touch with Tiger's first love....

Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
It was bound to happen eventually that a blushing sportswriter would pick up his crayons and write something about Tiger Woods so egregiously stupid that it'd make Mark Whicker look like Grantland Rice. Take it away, Hank Gola....

Tiger's Teeth Apparently No Longer Perfect
Your evening Tiger update: The UK Sun is reporting that, on the morning of the accident, Elin did to her husband's teeth with a cell phone what she would later do to his SUV's rear window with a sand wedge....