cc Page 448 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

OK, What's With All The Lesbian Gym Teachers Around Here?
The shocking truth: There may be lesbian physical education teachers in San Francisco Bay Area high schools, and they're diddling with students. And according to one law enforcement official, it's technology's fault....

Candace Parker's C Cups Are The Subject Of Furious Journalistic Debate
The recent Candace Parker ESPN the mag cover story written by Allison Glock has become a hot topic for the ornery scribes at SportsJournalists.com due to the story's breast-heavy lede paragraph....

Iraqi Soccer Player Murdered During A Game
An Iraqi striker was shot in the head by a spectator just as he was about to score a game-tying goal against a rival. Holy crap. [BBC]...

Fishin' Accomplished
He eluded U.S. forces much longer than Saddam Hussein, but this 13-pound carp was finally brought to justice recently as part of Operation Catch Fish, on the grounds of Camp Slayer in Baghdad....

Tar Holes. Semi Heels. Talk.
Here is your North Carolina/Florida State open thread. ACC semi-final showdown. [Yahoo!]...

Streaker Fail: This Should About End This Activity, One Hopes
Not only was this streaker at an English association soccer match in Manchester subdued by a female security guard, but he was also mocked by the crowd for "severe shrinkage." Ouch. [Bury Times]...

Boomer Esiason Will Sweep The Leg
Boomer Esiason interviewing Ralph Macchio on the enduring legacy of The Karate Kid? Yes, sign me up. Oh, and did you know they're doing a remake? Wax on. Wax off....

Actually, It Should Be Changed to "Free Marko"
Newlywed Marko Jaric is the mystery Grizzlies player accused of sexual assault. What, Adriana Lima isn't good enough? [SI]...

Albert Haynesworth Almost Killed A Guy?
New Redskins tackle Albert Haynesworth has been in the news a lot lately, but the stories all seem to focus on his $100 million contract and not the car accident that left someone in a wheelchair....

One Mysterious Memphis Grizzly Accused Of Sexual Assault
You know, if this turns out to be Darko, would a change of blog name be in order? [NBC Philadelphia]...

In No Way Should The Yankees Be Worried By This
CC Sabathia gives up three singles, a double and a two-run homer by Gary Sheffield in two innings against the Tigers. His spring ERA: 12.27. [New York Daily News]...

Tall Order For Soccer-Playing Waitress
A 22-year-old waitress from Watsonville, Calif. with little playing experience is among tryout finalists for the FC Gold Pride, one of seven teams in the new Women's Professional Soccer league. [San Jose Mercury]...

The ACC Is Still Not Ready To Have Their Tournament Overrun By Hoops-Lovin' Lesbos
Sports By Brooks points us to this story that was featured in the Greensboro News & Record, detailing the ACC's reluctance to openly embrace its gay female fan base....

Alex Smith Is Back, But Apparently In Disguise
Things don't usually work this way, but hey, we're in a recession. Alex Smith — once thought totally extinct in the wild — is back with the 49ers under a new, slimmer contract....

Red Bull Gives You Product Placement
A German footballer gets in trouble for turning his goal celebration into an advertisement for Red Bull. Because advertising should only be done on jerseys, shoes, balls, fields, seats, every available blank space... [The Spoiler]...

Geno Hayes Will Wear His Helmet From Now On
Tampa Bay special teamer Geno Hayes is doing fine, even though his 19-year-old girlfriend stabbed him in the head with scissors—then again in the neck with a real knife. The second stabbing shows dedication. [TampaBayOnline]...

What Wedding Is Complete Without Soccer Players And Owls?
So what's with the rash of Harry Potter-themed weddings among European soccer players? And where's my invitation, you stupid owl? [Deuce of Davenport]...

Goalie Uses Newfangled Gadget To Outfox Penalty Kickers
Manchester United won the Carling Cup last weekend in a dramatic(?) penalty shootout, but it turns out that goalie Ben Foster may have had some technological assistance....

Crazy Baseball Memoir Probably Didn't Happen
Yet another supposedly non-fiction "memoir" writer is accused of filling his book with exaggerations, half-truths and lies—but this time it's about baseball, so it was much easier to prove the story wrong....