cc Page 461 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let The Sphincters Roar
Farts are funny, which is why there have been two stories sent to my inbox in the last 24 hours, both of which didn't have to do a very thorough job of explaining what they were about....
Beware The Handrails Of Death
It appears there is no more a dangerous threat at the ballpark than staircases or escalators. If 2001 was famously called the "Summer Of The Shark," after numerous Floridians smelling like chum or dressed in seal costumes were chomped, this 2008's TV news fear bait might be "Spring Of The Handrail."...
Okay, That Was Kind Of Exciting
Mr. Hirshey will have a much more comprehensive and aritculate wrap-up of the Champions League, um...championship?...tomorow, but, for now, this photo will have to suffice....
Roger Clemens Probably Won't Be Downloading This Song
Anti-depressant poster girl and Roger Clemens Lolita Mindy McCready is showing she's still willing to steamroll ahead with her country singin' comeback regardless of the big white Rocket-shaped elephant that sits in her living room. McCready posted this YouTube message in an effort to let her remain...
Media Approval Ratings: Tim McCarver
We're not sure we're going to still be doing these Media Approval Things in October, which is why we have to do Tim McCarver now. Because fans' opinions of McCarver are never more polarized than in October....
Soccer. Balls.
For those lukewarm soccer enthusiasts who contend that more public nudity would greatly improve Europe's favorite foot-oriented sporting event, this is somewhat fantastic news. Recently, "more than 1,800 men and women have posed nude for US photographer Spencer Tunick in Vienna's Ernst Happel stadi...
The EPL Season Ends ... And Look Who Called It!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Mindy McCready's Confessions Haven't Translated Into Album Sales Yet
Mindy McCready, the "troubled" country singer who admitted she had some sort of relationship with Roger Clemens that would probably not be copasetic with Debbie Clemens, is also trying to revinvigorate her stalled country singing career with a new album, reality show, etc. Granted, plenty of other w...
Shout At The Dogleg
It's no secret that former hair metal icons began replacing their Aqua Net and sperm-killing lyrca with Tommy Bahama wardrobes as soon as most of them hit their 30s. Alice Cooper's like a five handicap, Tico Torres from Bon Jovi's 12.1, and, hey, even Tommy Lee's a 33....
Streakin' Ain't Easy
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match last March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear dash into a Playboy pictorial, where she will bravely ditch the rest of her clothes and...
A Soccer Goal Like Few Others
We think, after a shot like that, you don't get to strut as if you just didn't something over which you had total control. If you can classify that as "strutting."...
Newcastle Owner Now Slightly Richer
Newcastle have been on quite a run as of late, and Mike Ashley is taking full advantage. The club's billionaire owner recently strolled into his local casino (note to self: move to England) and had a seat at the roulette wheel, the greatest table game of them all. Ashley decided to make the boldest ...
Footballers and the Porn Stars Who Love Them
Earlier in the week Chelsea celebrated their Champion's League semi-final triumph (don't tell Jose) over Liverpool with a field trip to popular London night spot. Needless to say, their presence did not go unnoticed by fellow club enthusiasts....
United Move Closer, Lose Nani
Manchester United dominated West Ham en route to a 4-1 victory, holding off Chelsea for another week. Ronaldo netted a double for the Red Devils before his countryman Nani received a red card for a blatant headbutt to Lucas Neill's nose. Now Nani will be forced to sit out the final match of the seas...
Congrats, Sigh, To Uncle Avram
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Ronaldo's Big Tranny Adventure; The Next Day
So here's a photo of one of the "ladies" who had a run-in with AC Milan soccer star Ronaldo on Monday. Not a bad effort I suppose, but I wouldn't need the entire running time of The Crying Game to guess this secret, would you? New details of the magical evening have emerged, so after you have made t...
Emotionally Damaged Crazy Lady Confirms Affair With Clemens
In what seemed like a clumsily orchestrated ambush against former pitcher Roger Clemens after the Daily News' odd "Raj-diddled-a-15-year-old" story yesterday, the woman behind the affair, "troubled" country singer Mindy McCready has held a press conference to say she stands by what the NYDN wrote....
Ronaldo Plays The Crying Game
In soccer there is only one thing more humiliating than an own goal; it's when you pick up three prostitutes and later discover that they're all transvestites. (I can see you nodding in agreement). Poor Ronaldo. Not only did he receive "the Brazilian Surprise," but then when he tried to bribe the fa...
Chelsea Might Really Pull This Thing Off
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
1st Round, Twentieth Overall: Buccaneers Select Aqib Talib
Talib blew off his scheduled visit with the Cowboys last month. Mario Manningham blew the Cowboys interview off at the Combine. Now I hate the stinkin' Cowboys as much as any kid who grew up a snowball's throw away from Veterans Stadium, but since when do NFL prospects blow off the Cowboys? They're ...