ces Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steve Clifford Reminds Reporters That Coaching Is More Complicated Than It Looks
The Hornets lost 103-115 to the Miami Heat this evening to fall behind 0-2 in their first round series. The Hornets had a top-ten defense in the regular season, but they’ve allowed Miami to score 238 points in their first two games. Naturally, someone asked Hornets coach Steve Clifford about whether...
Acceptable Uses Of Snapchat's Bob Marley Filter
So Snapchat has chosen to celebrate 4/20 with a totally advisable Bob Marley filter that gives you blackface and dreadlocks. They’ll be pulling it and humbly apologizing any time now; I am typing this as fast as I can. Anyway, here are some experiments I’ve conducted. Thank you for your time, which ...
The Higher Powers Do Not Want Leicester To Lose The Premier League
It only took two minutes into Leicester City’s touchy clash against West Ham for God himself to remove all doubt about who He intends to crown Premier League champions next month....
The 32 Most Memorable Quotes From <i>Avatar</i>
Yesterday, director and planet-eater James Cameron announced his intentions to make not one, not two, but FOUR sequels to 2009's Avatar, the second-highest-grossing film of all time. In the wake of that announcement, there was a fake quote passed around, with Cameron stating that one of the reasons ...
Here Is The Grimmest Of All Philadelphia 76er Anecdotes
Ontological question: If an NBA team chooses its players precisely for their generic inability to compete in the NBA—that is to say, for not belonging in the NBA at all—then are they truly NBA players?...
Jamie Vardy's Bulldozing Goal Is A Metaphor For Leicester City's Season
Watch this latest Jamie Vardy goal, his 21st of the season. Watch him pick up the ball at the halfway line, cooly assess the situation, and decide on the brute-force move of “kick it past the motherfucker and run.” Watch him bulldoze Patrick Van Aanholt, slip past Vito Mannone, and secure a 2-0 win ...
Apparently, The Phillies Don't Know The Rules Of Baseball
Today in “Things Only The Phillies And Little Leaguers Do,” watch Phillies second baseman Cesar Hernandez get doubled off on a called infield fly....
Failure Artist Sam Hinkie Produces His Masterpiece
Professional engineer of failure Sam Hinkie quit the Philadelphia 76ers last night via a batshit, borderline incoherent, hilariously self-congratulatory 13-page resignation letter, inadvertently rendering into generous flattery every joke made at his expense over the three years he spent failing at ...
And Now, A Dramatic Reading Of Sam Hinkie’s Batshit Resignation Letter
Sixers GM Sam Hinkie unexpectedly resigned yesterday and left behind a rambling, legitimately nutzoid 13-page letter that I hope will serve as a giant blinking warning sign to any future employer of his, be it an NBA team (fat chance) or an investment firm or the sales force at Lyft, which is where ...
The Idea Behind The Process Is Wrong, And Always Has Been
Newly former Philadelphia 76ers general manager Sam Hinkie’s “Process” encompassed a number of tenets, but its basic philosophical underpinning was that the NBA draft is the best and cheapest way to build a contender, and that the NBA draft is a crapshoot. A roll of the dice....
Here Is Sam Hinkie's Full 13-Page Letter Of Resignation To The Sixers (UPDATES)
Earlier tonight, we asked you to give up the full 13-page letter that Sam Hinkie sent to the Philadelphia 76ers as he resigned. None of you did, but ESPN’s Marc Stein thankfully just posted it in its entirety....
Report: Sam Hinkie Has Left The Sixers (UPDATES)
Per ESPN’s Marc Stein, Sam Hinkie has stepped down as the general manager of the Philadelphia 76ers (unless he in fact had some different post with “Philadelphial”?)....
Don't Forget These Great, Easy Tax Deductions
Still haven’t done your taxes yet? Me either. Lucky us: we get an extra three days this year. But you should still get on that....
Yankees Protest Game Over Confusing Baserunning Call
I, for one, am excited that 2016 has kicked off as the season of baserunning controversies. ...
Sixers Win Game, Make History
The Philadelphia 76ers—a misshapen experiment in gaming the NBA Draft lottery, who, weirdly enough, play actual basketball games—won their tenth game of the season tonight. Pity the poor Pelicans, who came into the year as a sexy pick to win 50 games, but had to stand by as Carl Landry (who had 22 p...
Mike Francesa Forced To Order Wrestlemania For His Sons, Remains Crestfallen
Mike Francesa has two sons: Jack and the dreaded Harrison. This is the story of how they manipulated him into ordering last night’s Wrestlemania on pay-per-view:...
Regular-Season Baseball Team Victories, Ranked
1. Win No. 1 (We’re not going to lose all our games)...
Butter Crocks Are A Crock Of Bullshit
Butter is practically perfect in just about any form. Anyone with tastebuds knows this. But if, like many Americans, you’re storing your butter in the refrigerator, you’re screwing up. And if you buy a $25 trinket in which to store your room-temperature butter, you’re screwing up even worse....
Yoenis Cespedes Decides Ball That's <i>Right There</i> Is Unplayable, Allows Inside-The-Park Home Run
A truly amazing spring training lowlight from Mets-Astros this afternoon, as an A.J. Reed ball hit past Yoenis Cespedes stuck at the base of the wall. It didn’t wedge under anything; it wasn’t trapped, or unreachable; it wasn’t obstructed in any way that would have warranted the umpire calling dead ...
I Dare You To Listen To This Excruciatingly Awkward Conversation Between Mike Francesa And A Caller
Mike Francesa has given us many memorable on-air moments, but I’m not sure if he’s ever had an interaction as teeth-achingly awkward as the one he had with Eddie in Queens yesterday:...