ces Page 76 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

DUI Suspect Blames Oral Sex For Erratic Driving
A DUI suspect, who police say nearly drove off the road while weaving in and out of traffic, claims his erratic driving was caused by the oral sex he was receiving from his girlfriend. You go, Louisville! [Jalopnik] ...

Why The NCAA Tournament Is A Metaphor For Human Evolution
The same handful of college basketball teams always seem to do well in March Madness, and the deeper reasons behind that might actually tell us something profound about human evolution. [io9]...

Woman rushing to watch NASCAR on TV crashes into storefront
A woman rushing home to watch this past weekend's Nascar race on TV crashed her Chevy S-10 Blazer into a store window. Apparently you can't bump-draft a building. What, too soon? [Jalopnik]...

Your Guide to Video Gaming’s Sportspocalypse 2011
Sportspocalypse. Sportsmageddon. Spörtsnarök? Whatever you want to call it, the coming month is packed with sports video game releases - a seven-way showdown of licensed sports titles in a month that normally sees only two baseball games. How'd we get [Kotaku] Kotaku at 02/26/2011 15:47:20...

This Pink Nightmare Is An Actual Hockey Jersey
The ECHL's Alaska Aces will suit up Sunday night in this Valentine's Day nightie jersey. Remember kids, pink is an acceptable uniform color only if you're fighting breast cancer, or are Bret "The Hitman" Hart....

U of Colorado Debates Whether It's Racist For Fans To Paint Their Faces Black
There's an interesting question being posed out in the Rockies regarding the University of Colorado fans' "Black Outs" concept. That question is this: "If white people paint their faces black at games, is that racist?"...

Dan Snyder Cries Anti-Semitism In Letter That Manages To Be Racist
Dave McKenna's definitive Snyder takedown was a thing of beauty; go re-familiarize yourself with it now. But the letter to Washington City Paper on behalf of Snyder is a piece of work in its own right....

Cal Ripken's Daughter Called Him That Naughty Thing Written On Billy Ripken's Bat
Mix mild-mannered Cal, respectable NPR and a heaping dose of "fuck face," and you get an embarrassed Peter Sagal trying to identify the offending phrase for the audience without actually saying it. Our tax dollars, well spent. [NPR, Baltimore Sun]...

Matt Hasselbeck Apologizes After Antonio Cromartie Threatens To Smash His Face
Responding to New York Jet Antonio Cromartie's rant about how the players' union needs "to get their sh— together and just get it done," Seattle Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck took to the tubes and "joked" about Cromartie's intelligence....

Last Night's Winner: Caroline Wozniacki Goes Solo
Is there anything worse than press conferences? The same boring questions get asked every time, and answered in the same boring way. Caroline Wozniacki noticed this, and decided she didn't need the media's help to continue on with the charade....

NBA Players: Don't Stiff Your Hookers, Or They'll Blow Up Your Spot (Featuring The Return Of Ms. Candy Deepthroat)
Lance Stephenson was allegedly $1000 short for a threesome with a pair of professional escorts, so one posted video of what she claims is him entering the hotel with her. Secretly recording your johns? That's not gonna be good for business. [BlackSportsOnline]...

There Are Photos For Sale Of Tennis Pros Getting A Lap Dance, Menstruating
Back into the shit-pit we dive. An enterprising amateur photographer asks if we'd like to spend our scuzz-money on some awful photos of two professional tennis players. Vamanos....

Today In Dumb Anti-NFLPA Spin
Florio has a pretty good rundown of the NFL's coming labor apocalypse, but there's one point he makes that I really hope doesn't catch on, even though you can be sure it will....

26 Seconds Of Tim Tebow Charming The Pants Off Everyone
On Sunday, Tim Tebow threw for 308 yards and had two touchdowns in a 24-23 come-from-behind win over the Texans. He promptly tweeted a Bible passage and then charmed the pants off everyone in the postgame press conference....

Rex Ryan's Awkwardest Of Press Conferences
Rex Ryan is facing the assembled media for his regularly-scheduled press conference. Let's watch!...

British Figure Skater Says He Isn't Leaving TV Show For Career In Gay Porn
A British newspaper reported that Dancing on Ice "hunk" Stuart Widdall will be taking his talents away from the British television show and giving them to the world of "hardcore gay porn."...

Scandal! Ohio State Paid For Evan Turner's Braces
There's a well-meaning NCAA program that made $54 million — $500k for OSU — available to players via a "Special Assistance Fund." It's a lovely idea that's sure to be abused in the next big college scandal. [The Lantern, h/t Dan]...

Samuel Eto’o Gets All Zinedine Zidane About It
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff. ...

ESPN Book Promises To Reveal "The Rowdiest Frathouse In Sports TV"
So we happened to get our grimy little hands on the Little, Brown's catalog that teases the upcoming Shales/Miller oral history of the Worldwide Leader. It appears to promise many more casualties than our ESPN Nagasaki attack....

Relive Zenyatta's Breathtaking Run
It is with a heavy sigh of relief that we can report Zenyatta did not have to be euthanized following her run in the Breeder's Cup Classic. She finished 2nd, but it was one of the greatest finishes we've ever seen....