chicago Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bears Fan And Jaguars Fans Fight To Defend The Honor Of Their Terrible Teams
A Bears fan has no ground to start talking shit, especially right after losing at home to the Jaguars. He should especially avoid repeatedly yelling “Go fuck yourself” to any Jaguars fans that he sees....
Miguel Montero Is A Hero, Cubs Take Game 1 Of NLCS
The Chicago Cubs took a 3-1 lead into the eighth inning on Saturday, where they found themselves in trouble for the first time all night. Two singles and a walk loaded the bases for the Los Angeles Dodgers with no outs, and so closer Aroldis Chapman got the call to salvage things. ...
Chicago Blackhawks Kick Their Season Off With Boneheaded Own Goal
The Blackhawks were always going to lose here. Down two goals with fewer than 30 seconds left in the game usually means certain death. You don’t have to make it any worse by casually scooting the puck into your own net, my dudes....
Are You Ready For The Flood Of Bad Writing About The Cubs?
Listen, man, we don’t have to do this:...
Even-Year Bullshit Is Dead
The San Francisco Giants’ success in even years has run its course, and we can all breathe easy that there is in fact no higher power devoted to San Francisco baseball....
Santiago Casilla Wept After The Giants Collapsed Without Him
At 10:30 in Chicago, they decided to send the horses home....
The Giants Blew It
The San Francisco Giants spent the latter half of the year tumbling headfirst down the standings, forgetting how to hit the ball, and watching their bullpen blow any games they managed to keep close. It’s somewhat fitting that their season ended with a great big fart of a collapse....
Javy Baez Only Makes Spectacular Plays
The Giants finally remembered how to play offense and hit the baseball tonight, but Cubs second baseman Javy Baez is doing everything he can to shut them down. Baez only plays baseball at one million miles per hour, and he attacks approaching grounders like Jim Harbaugh attacks glasses of milk. ...
Alshon Jeffery Is Frustrated And John Fox Tells Reporters To Enjoy Their Damn Hot Dogs
Bears coach John Fox admits he has no idea what he’ll do when Jay Cutler is healthy, since Brian Hoyer has played well. But he knows he really doesn’t want to hear any second-guessing from the media watching the game from a climate-controlled press box....
Joe Panik Walkoff Double Keeps The Giants Alive
Joe Panik’s 13th-inning double to drive in Brandon Crawford gave the Giants a 6-5 win over the Cubs on Monday, keeping San Francisco’s season alive. The even-year cockroaches now have won 10 straight games while facing elimination....
Hitters Still Can't Touch Madison Bumgarner But A Pitcher Just Knocked One Of His Balls To Fiji
If failure is success in Silicon Valley, then Madison Bumgarner is a champion tonight. The Giants ace, last seen choking the life out of the Mets, is laying an egg in an must-win against the Cubs. He came into the game with a streak of 23 straight scoreless innings in elimination games, but managed ...
The Bears Don't Know What They're Doing With Their Quarterbacks Either
The Chicago Bears have the following quarterbacks on their roster: Brian Hoyer, Matt Barkley, and Jay Cutler. Two of those dudes are bad. The other has an injured thumb and the disposition of a disgruntled tabby cat. Not the most enviable position to be in, but let’s see how john Fox plans to figure...
Johnny Cueto Was Brilliant, And It Didn't Matter
In a week that’s offered plenty in the way of high-quality postseason pitching—Corey Kluber’s virtuoso performance yesterday afternoon, Noah Syndergaard and Madison Bumgarner’s wild card duel—Johnny Cueto put up perhaps the best line of them all last night....
Root For The Cubs In The Playoffs
The Chicago Cubs had the best record—103 wins, 58 losses—in major league baseball this season. They won the NL Central by a ridiculous 17.5 games over the butt St. Louis Cardinals. They outscored their opponents by a whopping 252 runs. And I never watched them even once! Here’s why you should root f...
Trump Supporters Spent The Debate Tweeting At Jon Lester Because They Thought He Was Moderator Lester Holt
Jon Lester is expected to be the Cubs’ Game 1 starter when the NLDS kicks off at Wrigley on Friday against either the Mets or Giants. That’s Jon Lester. Not NBC anchor Lester Holt, who is old and who scouts say has 55 command at best, barely fourth-starter potential. Just so we’re clear....
Idiot In Gorilla Suit Wearing "All Lives Matter" Shirt Invades Lions-Bears Game
An idiot in a gorilla suit ran around Soldier Field during today’s Lions-Bears game. After a few seconds of freedom, the person slipped and was apprehended by stadium security....
Byron Buxton Is Fast As Hell
The very first pitch of the final game of the year for the Chicago White Sox and Minnesota Twins? ...
MLB Game Ends In A Tie For The First Time Since 2005
Tonight, officials called the Pirates-Cubs game in the sixth inning with the score tied 1-1. Heavy rain in Pittsburgh forced the game to stop for over an hour, and it was eventually called. The two teams are not scheduled to play again this year, and the outcome won’t affect playoff positioning, so ...
Derrick Rose's Lawyers Still Want To Bring Up Jane Doe's Past
Attorneys representing Derrick Rose and the woman accusing him of rape filed a flurry of motions yesterday and today, with several concerning whether the woman’s sexual history is relevant and can be brought up at trial....