chris Page 140 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No, <em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Columnist Was Not Comparing The Marlins' New Stadium Deal To The 1989 Massacre Of 14 Women In Montreal
You probably know Chris Jones from Esquire, Grantland, or his busy Twitter feed, but it's his column in ESPN: The Magazine that has ticked off legions of his countrymen. Jones, like the angry mob needlessly chasing him online yesterday, is Canadian....
In Case You Missed It, TNT Toppled A Christmas Tree Onto Shaq
After years of trashing Chris Bosh (the "RuPaul of big men" comment in 2009, the "Big Two" reference earlier this year) the chickens finally came home to roost. On TNT's postgame show last night, the crew convinced O'Neal to take the last in-studio shot of 2011—in front of a precarious Christmas t...
A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...
Horrible Quotes About A Soccer Player's Torn Scrotum
From Andy Hessenthaler, manager for League Two side Gillingham:...
A Directory Of Places Where You Can Watch Sports While Eating Chinese Food Today
Here is a very incomplete list of places in our great nation where you can watch sports while eating Chinese food today—as suggested by you, our readers. If you have more ideas, please let us know in the comments. All endorsements sic'd....
Readers: Tell Us Where To Watch Sports While Eating Chinese On Dec. 25
Christmas is on Sunday, and while most public activity shuts down so the Christians and semi-Christians can worship American consumerism and baby Jesus, our nation's Jews will be eating Chinese food and watching hoops like it's just another Hanukkah weekend. What a world!...
The Atlanta Braves Wish You A Merry Christmas By Performing The Worst Rendition Of "Jingle Bells" Imaginable
Kris Medlen (the puffy-cheeked one with the bent brim) is the only one who gives it any effort, and he's followed by Chipper Jones's smug sunburnt visage. Ugh. Merry Christmas....
Our NBA Players Are Still Growing
The lockout? Totally worth it. Because it seems the tallest people on earth spent that extra time getting even taller....
David Stern Says That Once The Season Starts, Everyone Will Forget About That Silly Little Chris Paul Trade Veto
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Dance, puppets!...
Counterpoint: Charlie Brown Is Bigger Than Jesus
Gosh, somebody is taking a supposedly beloved holiday ritual and saying it's really awful and depressing. Who ever had that idea before? Oh, right: Charlies Schulz....
Fuck You, Charlie Brown
Every year you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, and every year you come away depressed. You're a real asshole, Charlie Brown. Originally published Dec. 9, 2010. Read Tom Scocca's counterpoint: "Charlie Brown Is Bigger Than Jesus."...
Christmas Hype Will Drive Your Children To Insanity
Christmas is four days away. I know this because my kids have been counting down the days since, I dunno, LAST goddamn Christmas. Children have boring lives. They have to go to school all day. They have to listen to adults tell them what to do. They can't watch porn. It blows. Christmas is one of th...
Chad McGhee Has Risen Up Against President Obama And Government Itself
Now that the Knox City Greyhounds season is over, Chad McGhee has turned his attention to matters besides Texas high school six-man football. Here, he takes both a moral and political stand against the POTUS and affiliated pagans who have declared war on the Lord. In these War on Christmas times, ...
Gifts For People Who Have An Opinion About Tim Tebow
Nobody puts the "Christ" in "Christmas" like America's greatest football phenomenon. Don't stop with Denver Broncos gear—Tim Tebow is much more than just an athlete, as the bio of "Timmy" on the Tebow family ministry's website makes clear. Here are a few ideas to help your favorite Tebower get close...
After Five Days In Captivity, A Haggard Chris Kaman Emerges To Assure His Family That He Is Unharmed And The Hornets Are Treating Him Well
None of the Lob City exiles look particularly happy about their new workplace....
Gather 'Round, Grove, Draper and Ronjohn: The Lacrosse All-Name Team Is Here
What makes a great lacrosse name? There must be a whiff of old money and non-rhotic lockjaw, but it's more than that. In the spirit of Potter Stewart's test for obscenity ("I know it when I see it") and Katie Baker's beloved lacrosse family the Stanwicks (Sheehan, Wick, Coco, Tad, Steele, Wells and ...
Gifts For People Who Play With Balls
It can be hard to watch sports all the time and not feel that instinctive, itching urge to get off the couch and toss a ball around for a little while (or at least during the commercial breaks). But we want to make sure that you take heed of the special hierarchy of balls that are available for toss...
Gifts For Gamers
Shopping for video game aficionados should be easy. There's seemingly an endless supply of games, systems, and gadgets to suit their every need. The thing is, though, gamers have are used to checking out the reviews for every perspective purchase on the market. They know the field so well that they'...
David Stern Did The Right Thing With Chris Paul
That's a painful headline to write, and especially inconceivable after the histrionics that followed the NBA's veto of a deal that would have sent Chris Paul to the Lakers last week. It was a power trip, a violation of Dell Demps's autonomy, and maybe even an anti-trust violation: and as it turns ou...
Blake Griffin And Co.'s Reactions To The Chris Paul Trade Were Caught On Tape: "Lob City!"
The Clippers successfully traded for Chris Paul yesterday, which was a bit of a shock for basketball fans, because it means that Los Angeles's other NBA team might actually be somewhat relevant this season or next....