chris Page 82 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Red Sox Survive Near Ass-Shitting, Eliminate Yankees
The Red Sox went for the kill Tuesday night. Ahead 4–1 headed to the bottom of the eighth inning, Alex Cora sent ace Chris Sale to the mound in relief. This should of course not screw with Sale’s availability in the ALCS, but it is for sure not a decision that was taken lightly. ...
Chris Bosh's Teeny Son Has Yet To Learn The Way Of The Baller
Chris Bosh introduced his adorable children to MSG Network’s Rebecca Haarlow during Monday night’s Wizards-Knicks preseason game. These are some seriously cute children. Haarlow, thinking fast, asked Bosh’s teeny son Jackson whether he will grow up to be a baller. It turns out innocent young Jackson...
The Brewers Have Played This All Perfectly
There is no one way to build a really good baseball team. Historically, the innovative Just Spend As Much Money As Needed On The Best Players Available model has a pretty solid track record, but even longtime adherents of that approach have recently backed away from it due to ... well, we can probab...
Chris Jones's Day Included Embarrassing Blake Bortles And Punching A Guy's Ass
The most anticipated game of the early NFL season was pretty one-sided. The undefeated Kansas City Chiefs and their high-powered offense have been dominating the supposedly impenetrable defense of the 3-1 Jacksonville Jaguars. Oddly enough, one of the more notable players of the game was not the lea...
Brewers' Big Name Acquisitions Come Through In Game 1 Walk-Off Win
The Brewers got nine innings of excellent pitching in a 10-inning game, and won on a walk-off single in extras from Mike Moustakas, to grab Game 1 of their NLDS matchup with the Colorado Rockies....
Prosecutor In Farcical Brett Kavanaugh Hearing Was Part Of Same Office That Let Kevin Johnson Walk Away From Sex Abuse Charges
Rachel Mitchell, the GOP hired gun who shot blanks during last week’s Brett Kavanaugh hearing, told Republican senators immediately after the public fiasco (but before the FBI investigation had begun) that she would not have prosecuted the nominee for his alleged assault of Christine Blasey Ford....
Report: Crowdfunding Drives For College Football Player In Critical Condition Shut Down Over Fear Of NCAA Violations
Tennessee State sophomore Christion Abercrombie suffered a devastating head injury in the first half of his team’s loss to Vanderbilt Saturday. According to Tennessee State head coach Rod Reed, Abercrombie suffered the injury while “taking on a block” during an otherwise typical football play, and c...
Alex Trebek Opens Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Debate With Joke Question About The Eagles
The Pennsylvania governor’s race pits Democratic incumbent Tom Wolf against former state senator Scott Wagner. There is one debate. It is tonight. Alex Trebek is moderating. During an on-stage interview before the debate, Trebek joked that he was drunk when he accepted the invitation. ...
Report: Former NBA Try-Hard Chris Dudley Once Allegedly Smashed A Pint Glass On Someone's Head While Defending Brett Kavanaugh
Hopeless free-throw shooter and failed gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley was pals and drinking buddies with Brett Kavanaugh when the two attended Yale together from 1983 to 1987. Where young Brett tried and failed to make the men’s basketball team, Dudley was the team’s star center and went on to...
Some Types Of Pain Are More Valuable Than Others
It’s both a truism and true that politics is about power, how it’s used and who it’s used against. But politics are also about the business of pain—about which individuals and which communities bear how much and at what cost, and so implicitly whose pain is worth more than others. Everyone lives in ...
The Horror On TV
That all of this—the unalloyed and dovetailing lust for power of one white male sociopath and the aggregate of white men, the future of the highest judicial body in the country, that country’s total failure to assign any kind of consequence to sexual violence, America’s marrow-deep hatred and fear a...
Can The Red Sox Trust Chris Sale?
Chris Sale’s final regular season start for the Red Sox met expectations, at least in the most basic sense. The word before his start Wednesday night was that he would throw around 90 pitches, and he left the game after tossing 92. Against the lowly Orioles, Sale went 4.2 innings, getting eight Ks a...
Everyone Thank The Marlins For Making The NL Playoff Race Fun
Things are getting hot in the National League in the final days of the season. After last night’s results, here’s how things stand: The Brewers lead the wild-card race and are a half-game back of the Cubs in the central division; the Rockies are a half-game back of the Dodgers out west and now hold ...
Vance McDonald Buries Chris Conte With Devastating Stiff-Arm
The longest walk back to the sideline of Chris Conte’s life had to come after this 75-yard Vance McDonald touchdown catch-and-run. Bring in the Eternal Sunshine machine to wipe this moment out of Conte’s memory forever:...
Brett Kavanaugh Is <em></em>A Man The Right Can Get Behind
Shit’s real weird now....
Wonderteen Christian Pulisic, Who Is Now A Wonderman, Scores Winner On 20th Birthday
Christian Pulisic turned 20 years old today, which means he is no longer the Wonderteen we have all known and loved, but instead a full-grown Wonderman. He showed his newfound maturity by scoring the lone goal and winner for Borussia Dortmund in the 85th minute of their Champions League opener again...
The Reds Are Now The Property Of Christian Yelich, Those Are The Rules
Brewers outfielder Christian Yelich hit for the cycle in a game against the Reds back on August 29. It was a career night for Yelich, who finished 6-for-6 from the plate with three RBI in a wacky Brewers win. Yelich hit three dingers and drove in nine runs in that three-game series, so the Reds were...
Pitcher's HR After A Foul Bunt Non-Call Was The Nuttiest Part Of A Very Nutty Brewers-Reds Game
When Reds pitcher Michael Lorenzen entered the batter’s box in the bottom of the sixth of tonight’s game against the Brewers, he was just trying to do what most pitchers do when asked to hit: his best....
Lucas Moura Cooking Chris Smalling Is A Metaphor For Tottenham's Spanking Of Man United
It takes a firm lashing of José Mourinho’s asscheeks to get him to walk into a press conference and opine about international humanitarian crises before storming out of the room while doing an unironic Birdman impression, and that’s exactly what Tottenham administered to Mourinho’s Manchester United...
Christian Covington's Ego Takes A Hit As The New <i>Madden</i> Has Him Looking Like A Gelatinous Thumb
Texans defensive end Christian Covington is not a particularly handsome man. He’s not an ugly man, either, just an average-looking one. Still, as unremarkable as Covington’s face may be, he does not resemble the creepy, poorly rendered avatar the folks at EA assigned him in Madden 19, as he has disc...