cia Page 194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<i>Person Of Interest</i> Was Anti-Prestige TV And Too Smart For Primetime
First, let me tell you what Person of Interest is. Person of Interest is the inverse of Game of Thrones. For every shock death from the HBO’s version of George R.R. Martin’s book series, it had Kevin Chapman getting maced by a model and beaten up with a handbag. For every Game of Thrones setpiece th...
Apparently It Was All Barcelona's Fault That Some Dickhead Threw A Bottle At Them
This past weekend, Barcelona scored a last-minute penalty to eke out a critical away win against Valencia. The players were very excited, so they celebrated. The Valencia fans were very upset, so they shouted insults. Neymar in particular took issue with this and yelled something back at the fans. I...
Can Donald Trump Grow A Beard? An Investigation
Donald Trump’s sense of self-worth seems to be based entirely on his status as an alpha male. He’s obscenely competitive, feels entitled to women, and is apparently fixated on the size of his dick. One hyper-masculine symbol, however, appears to have eluded Trump his entire life, for Donald Trump ha...
Lionel Messi Had Some Unkind Things To Say About These Fans' Mothers
Barcelona came agonizingly close to losing Sunday’s battle against Valencia, and might’ve even ended up losing the war for La Liga with Andrés Iniesta’s knee injury. But it’s never smart to count out Lionel Messi, who stole a victory with a stoppage-time penalty, and said some incredibly rude things...
Jameis Winston Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty Costs Bucs Touchdown Chance
Tampa Bay was set to have the ball on fourth down at the 49ers’ five-yard line with two feet to go for first-and-goal. That’s before Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston lipped off to an official, pushing the ball back 15 yards and eliminating any chance of his team tying up San Francisco on the dr...
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Report: Russell Wilson Has Fucked, Plans To Fuck Again
Russell Wilson and Ciara got married three months ago. The happy couple recently said that they had done it (sex) to each other, and per a report from E!, they might very well be expecting a child. ...
Dick Enberg Was Always The Right Man For The Moment
Dick Enberg hummed his way through his most famous call....
The Missed Opportunity
In America—despite our inequality and blatant cronyism—the socialists never win. The socialists never could have won. Except for this year. ...
Enner Valencia Fakes Injury To Escape Police In Ambulance And Avoid Child Support Arrest
Everton striker and Ecuador star Enner Valencia returned to his homeland for a World Cup qualifier against Chile, where he managed to escape a series of encounters with Ecuador’s finest and avoid arrest for unpaid child support. ...
England Manager Sam Allardyce Loses Job After Just One Game In Charge
England manager Sam Allardyce and the FA have “mutually agreed to terminate his contract,” one day after The Telegraph published the results of a hidden-camera investigation in which Allardyce advises “businessmen” on how to get around third-party ownership rules. It isn’t a particularly damning inv...
How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...
Mariners Catcher Steve Clevenger Suspended Without Pay For Tweets
The Seattle Mariners responded to backup catcher Steve Clevenger’s dogshit dumb tweets about protesters by suspending him without pay for the remaining 10 games of the season. Here is the relevant part of the statement released by general manager Jerry Dipoto:...
Thanks To Draymond Green, NBA Refs Will Be Cracking Down On Hits To The Dick And Balls
Draymond Green was the loudest, brashest, most dick kicking-est player on the NBA Finals-losing Golden State Warriors, and he has already secured a legacy of sorts for himself: starting next season, NBA referees will be making a point to spot and penalize strikes to the dick and balls, or what the A...
Ender Inciarte Robs Yoenis Cespedes' Would-Be Walk-Off, Ends Game
Had Yoenis Cespedes hit this baseball a few inches further, it would have given the Mets a 6-4 victory over the Braves and earned them a crucial advantage on the Cardinals in the wild card race. Instead, Ender Inciarte robbed it and won the game for the Braves....
Rangers' Double Play Breaks Mike Scioscia's Spirit
Los Angeles Angels manager Mike Scioscia always looks like an anxious bloodhound, but his heart broke in half on TV after Texas Rangers pitcher Nick Martinez started a double play with a behind-the-back catch....
We're Going Backwards On Racial Economic Equality
America’s devastating racial wealth gap is the clearest possible evidence of our nation’s racist history. If we ever want to deal with it, we have another problem to deal with first: the wages of black people are inexcusably low. And it’s getting worse. ...
"What A Whiff By The Officials!" Ole Miss Takes 24-3 Lead On Alabama Thanks To Refs
Two missed calls by the officials allowed Ole Miss to take a three-touchdown lead on Alabama on a play that featured a missed targeting call and an improperly applied unnecessary roughness call....
MAC Suspends Officials Who Allowed Central Michigan To Pull Off Miracle Upset
The Mid-American Conference has suspended the officiating crew that botched what should have been the final play of Saturday’s Central Michigan-Oklahoma State game, giving the Chippewas a final, untimed down on which they scored a spectacular game-winning touchdown....