cia Page 198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stupid Little Piece Of Metal Bounces Valencia Youth Team From Tournament
Valencia and Chelsea met today in the UEFA Youth League, which is basically the Kiddie Champions League. The Round of 16 match came down to penalties, and Chelsea were declared winners after scoring all five of their spot kicks. Problem is, Valencia never actually missed any of their penalties, eith...
Don Mattingly's Marlins Take A Lesson From Mr. Burns And Ban Facial Hair
Let’s all go back to 1992, when The Simpsons’ “Homer At The Bat” first aired. Mr. Burns recruits a bunch of ballplayers as ringers for his softball team, including Don Mattingly. Here’s a very good, long piece on the episode, and how it got made....
Hell Yeah, Boban Marjanovic Got Himself In A Local TV Commercial
If Timofey Mozgov has taught us one thing, it’s that big, oafish centers are a perfect fit for low-budget local commercials. So we’re very pleased to see that Spurs center Boban “Not Some Sort Of Odd Thing” Marjanovic has gotten himself into the game....
Gary Bettman Upholds Dennis Wideman's Suspension, Provides Window Into NHL Investigation
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman upheld Dennis Wideman’s 20-game suspension for cross-checking a linesman from behind today, a widely expected ruling that Wideman will now appeal to a neutral arbitrator. Wideman’s primary defense, that he was concussed shortly before hitting referee Don Henderson—Widem...
Ivan Johnson Got Banned For Life From Playing Basketball In Yet Another Country
Ivan Johnson, former Hawks power forward and one of the most intimidating NBA players in recent memory, was banned from the Phillipine Basketball Association for life this morning for, “addressing the Commissioner with profanities and showing utter disrespect for authority.” ...
Umpire Awards Point To Caroline Wozniacki's Opponent For No Reason
Dominika Cibulkova knocked Caroline Wozniacki out of the St. Petersburg WTA tournament yesterday in a match that featured one of the most baffling decisions made by a chair umpire we’ve seen in a long time....
Conference Video Reveals Boise State-Colorado State Ending Botched By Bad Technology
Mountain West officials waved off James Webb’s would-be buzzer-beater because their replay technology counted time at double speed, a video released today by the conference reveals....
USWNT Players Association Files Withering Response To U.S. Soccer Lawsuit
U.S. Soccer’s lawsuit against the U.S. Women’s National Team Players Association seeks to answer a seemingly simple question: Do the two organizations have a valid collective bargaining agreement, or not?...
Iowa Senator Introduces Just The Whiniest Bill About The Stanford Band
The notoriously “edgy” Stanford marching band performed a skit full of dumb hick stereotypes during halftime of Stanford’s 45-16 thwacking of Iowa in the Rose Bowl. Despite the fact that the skit wasn’t particularly good, funny, or unexpected, everybody lost their goddamn minds. Iowa fans got mad, R...
U.S. Women's National Team Sued By U.S. Soccer Federation
The United States Soccer Federation sued the union representing Women’s National Team members in federal court Wednesday, an action sure to further fray the already strained bond between the two groups....
I'm Not Broke Anymore, And I'm Terrified
“I’m sorry, can you say that one more time?” That was my response to the recruiter who’d just revealed my new job’s salary. She repeated the offer, and though I wanted to shout my assent from the top of my lungs, I was in the middle of an empty coffee shop, plus I didn’t want to scare her off. Besid...
Russell Wilson Googled "How To Describe A Beautiful Woman" To Find Something Nice To Say About Ciara
Yesterday was Woman Crush Wednesday on Twitter, so Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson decided to offer an encomium to the light and love of his life, Ciara:...
Dennis Wideman Cross-Checks Linesman From Behind
The second period of the Predators’ 2-1 win over the Flames featured a strange and scary moment, as Flames defenseman Dennis Wideman absolutely leveled linesman Don Henderson on his way back to the bench. The hit sure looks intentional, but Wideman had just been checked hard into the boards, and loo...
NBA Ref Scott Wall Leaves Game After Being Injured By TV Cameraman
Longtime NBA official Scott Wall was forced to leave tonight’s Grizzlies-Nuggets game in Denver after tripping over a sideline camera operator and injuring his leg....
Oregon State Forward Suspended At Least Four Games For Tripping Ref
Oregon State suspended forward Jarmal Reid a “minimum” of four games, after he tripped referee Tommy Nunez during Sunday night’s game against Utah. Reid appeared to be frustrated with a no-call after he was knocked to the floor by Utah center Jakob Poeltl, and retaliated by sticking out his leg and ...
Michael Beasley Is Out Here Thriving
As a second overall draft pick, Michael Beasley was mostly a bust. He showed some ability to score but little else, and was frequently doing JaVale McGee-esque knucklehead stuff on the court, and getting in trouble (mostly for smoking weed) off of it. Last year he spent a season in China before fini...
Everything You Need To Know About Last Night's Strange Coin Toss
Something extremely unusual happened during the overtime coin toss of last night’s Packers-Cardinals game. After Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers called tails, referee Clete Blakeman tossed the coin and it landed on heads. But Blakeman noticed something strange: the coin didn’t rotate at all, it ...
Paul Millsap Dunk Rocks John Henson, Distant Cousins
The Atlanta Hawks have a slim lead in the first half over Milwaukee, but a huge advantage in face after Paul Millsap annihilated John Henson’s spirit with a devastating slam. Get well soon, John. ...
The Grateful Dead Literary-Industrial Complex Is A Long, Strange Trip All Its Own
The Grateful Dead are with us, always—in the past year, inescapably so. In our modern, retromaniacal culture, their benevolent aims and DIY apparatuses, from ticketing to merch to bootlegging, have long been a refuge for their fans. And 2015 peaked with the band’s latest, greatest, and allegedly las...