cia Page 203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Even The Chicago Cubs Are Owning Darren Rovell
You would think that after a career full of attempts at being clever on Twitter backfiring, living BrandBot Darren Rovell would give up the bantering aspect of the platform and stick to reporting on whichever 8,000 calorie food abomination is being introduced in a minor league ballpark near you. B...
Sex And Dead Children: Every FCC Viewer Complaint About The Super Bowl
As we do every year, we recently submitted a FOIA request to the FCC for all the complaints it received from viewers upset by something aired at the Super Bowl. There were 34 of them, ranging from disgust toward the Katy Perry/Missy Elliott halftime show, offense at commercials that featured sex o...
Read The Bullshit Charts A "Scientist" Is Hawking To Sports Teams
Every team wants the perfect draft pick. It's a deceptively simple-sounding goal that haunts every executive in sports, because they are being asked to do the nearly impossible—predict what human beings will do. Sure, every few years a player like Andrew Luck or Bryce Harper comes along who simply...
The NBA Players Union Just Announced It's Ready To Make War On Owners
The National Basketball Players' Association announced today that it has rejected the league's "cap smoothing" proposal, an idea floated by commissioner Adam Silver that was supposed to be an artful way of dealing with the massive influx of cash that will be coming into the league once the new TV de...
NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...
Dear Dude Playing Music Off Your Phone In Public With No Headphones
Die. Fucking die. What the fuck is wrong with you? You should be jailed....
How To Talk To Girls On Twitter Without Coming Off Like A Creepy Rando
So, here you are, my friend, following a lot of brilliant women on Twitter (I hope). It's so fun, and the best part of Twitter is connecting with people, so you want to reply to some of her great tweets with your own great opinions and jokes! Cool, cool, but here are some things to keep in mind....
Fake 90's Commercial Has An Extremely Dark Twist
This sketch from RocketJump starts out as a pastiche of 1990s commercials for kids—you know, the ones that had fisheye lenses, a ton of electric guitar, and ATTITUDE—but things take a turn for the disgusting about 47 seconds in. You've been warned....
Report: NHL Suspended Referee For Meeting In A Bar With Hockey Blogger
NHL referee Tim Peel met with his fiercest critic Thursday night in New York City: Yahoo Sports NHL blog Puck Daddy's editor-in-chief Greg Wyshynski. Wyshynski feels that Peel is the one of (if not the) worst referees in the NHL, and has written a series of articles on calls he believes Peel blew wi...
How To Meet Your Significant Other's Parents Without Terrifying Them
Of all the fraught rites of new-relationship escalation—Facebook status changes and move-ins and one of you using the toilet while the other showers and so on—none inspires more anticipatory dread than the Parent Meet. And for a whole host of legitimate reasons: the psychic weight of parental app...
Chinese Dunk Contest Features Terrible, Hilarious Dunk
The Chinese Basketball Association had its all-star game over the weekend. I really don't understand why this guy was invited to participate in the dunk contest:...
How To Be A Beer Enthusiast Without Being A Beer Asshole
Beer is so, so good. All of it gets you drunk, and a lot of it even tastes good in the process! What more could you ask for? Maybe just a quick little primer on how to get the most out of the experience? What's that? "No," you say? "Fuck that," in fact, you say?...
Notorious NBA Ref Joey Crawford Knocked Out Of Game With Knee Injury
Showboating NBA referee Joey Crawford joined a long list of officials in various sports who have suffered injuries recently when he pulled up lame in the second quarter of today's Mavericks-Clippers game with what league officials are calling a knee injury....
Ref Breaks Rib After Colliding With Maple Leafs Player, Hitting Ice
Remember a couple of weeks ago, when Tyler Seguin was chirping at the referee to get out of the corner? Well here's another reason for referees to stay out: you'll get wrecked....
Tommy Craggs Is An Aesthete, A Connoisseur, And A Visionary
I have dedicated much of my life to music—to the rituals that surround it, to the powerful feelings it invokes in hearts and brains and bodies large and small, in empathetic deep-thinkers and total dickheads alike. Whether in concert or via tastefully appointed home stereo systems, I have witnessed ...
World's Worst Referee Takes Phone Call In The Middle Of A Game
Today was the highly anticipated and (in the words of our tipster) "always heated" battle between North Whidbey Middle School and Oak Harbor Middle School in Oak Harbor, Washington. But despite the high stakes of the matchup, one of the referees spent a minute chilling on his phone! C'mon man, the...
If You Pick Up A Flag, You Need A Better Explanation Than That
Let's get this caveat out of the way, and (in spirit) amend it to all future discussions of the picked-up pass-interference flag that appeared so crucial in the Lions' loss to the Cowboys: the no-call didn't cost Detroit the game. Failing to hold a lead cost Detroit the game, as did turning the ball...