class Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wacky Dutchmen Upset Dominican Republic
The Netherlands gets three off Edinson Volquez in the first and make it hold up (Sidney Ponson!) to upset the D.R. juggernaut in the WBC. Naturally, I blame A Rod. [ESPN; Canada/US liveblog here]...
Tommy Lasorda: Clinically Delusional At Any Altitude
For those who think that Tommy Lasorda should pack up his follow-the-flag, I-love-the-good-ole-USA act and ship off to a nice assisted living community, here's more evidence to have him sent away....
Do Sports Keep High Schools From Actually Being Schools?
A lawmaker in North Carolina wants a bill that would force public schools to shut down their athletic programs if the rest of the school is filled with clumsy idiots....
World Baseball Classic Will Only Happen In Your Dreams
The World Baseball Classic has begun! Too bad you were asleep and missed the whole thing. [MLB.com]...
Cyst May Force Alex Rodriguez To Cease
Alex Rodriguez is having a bang up year in 2009. The latest calamity? A bone cyst that may force him to bail on Team D.R. at the World Baseball Classic....
It's Not Easy Being Byung-Hyun Kim
Byung-Hyun Kim lost his passport, so he won't be able to play in the World Baseball Classic. Did they try looking in the right-field bleachers at Yankee Stadium? [Korea Times]...
Sammy Sosa Does Not Come To You For A Contract Offer
Sammy Sosa is now 40 years old. And despite hitting a serviceable 21 homers and 92 RBI in limited action in 2007, he didn't play last year, and he probably won't play in 2009, either. Especially when he thinks that teams should be chasing him. These are the misunderstandings that occur when times ge...
When Hoop Dreams Become Hoop Nighmares
Another inevitable sign you're getting old: It's been nearly 15 years since the release of "Hoop Dreams". For the ignorant kids out there, "Hoop Dreams" was the universally-praised documentary that followed around two young kids from inner city Chicago, William Gates and Arthur Agee, as they tried ...
Two Aces Prove Their Worth
• Rays 9, Red Sox 8 With the two teams' respective aces taking the mound, you just knew it was going to be a swift affair - barely enough time to finish a six-pack - that would be decided by whichever team blinked first and allowed the one and only run to cross the plate. Just kidding. The game las...
Tony Kornheiser Is Very Fussy About His Shellfish
In case you were wondering just what Tony Kornheiser is really like, apparently these days the needle on the douchemeter is pressed all the way to the right. I can't imagine going to a seafood restaurant and throwing a fit because my favorite variety of crab isn't on the menu, but then I don't work ...
Cubs Go For the Sweep On the North Side
If the White Sox are going to come out of Wrigley with a win in this series, they'll need a good performance from Javier Vasquez. The Cubs counter with Ryan Dempster, who cannot possibly be this good. I'm going to call it a weekend, but I expect all of you DUANers to play nicely with each other. Whe...
Frank Caliendo, Dish Network To Be Sued Back To The Stone Age?
Of course just about everyone loves Frank TV: Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Jews … our admiration for the voice stylings of Frank Caliendo is the only thing on which we can all agree.* Two notable exceptions, however, are John Madden and Charles Barkley, who do not take kindly to Caliendo using thei...
About Last Night
What you missed while listing all the stuff that white people like ... • NBA: New Kids On The Block ... who are those guys? Cleveland 109, Memphis 89. • College basketball: On Wisconsin ... Badgers relax atop Big Ten standings. • NFL: The Vikings can get into trouble on dry land too....
Victims Of Spin Rage: The Forgotten Minority
We revist yesterday's spin rage post for the simple reason that we now have a photo of Mr. Stuart Sugarman, the man who was unceremoniously thrown into a wall — along with his stationary bike — for refusing to stop grunting during his workout in a Manhattan gym. At first I was sympathetic to his pre...
A Day Full Of The Rock On ESPN Classic
We always enjoy ESPN's movie cross promotions, if by "enjoy," you mean "die a little inside." For every move that makes sense — if you're gonna make us sit through "Who's Now?" you might as well have Jessica Biel host it — you have 10 that turn your stomach, like the clips from Johnny Depp movies du...
Malibu Was Healed By Mother Nature
If you haven't had the opportunity to revel in the "American Gladiators" reruns on ESPN Classic — truly the greatest programming currently airing on the vast family of networks — we can't recommend them enough. Just Call Me Juice discovered this little piece of genius, which is the least you can exp...
A Day's Worth Of ESPN Classic
Now that ESPN Classic no longer shows "original" programming like "Classic Now" or "Cheap Seats," the channel is supposedly back to its roots of showing historic sporting events ... you know, the reason the channel existed in the first place....
Oh, For The Calming, Sophisticated Atmosphere Of The Fenway Bleachers
Look, we don't need to tell you how rowdy it can get in the stands at the Boston Pops. It's always the same old story: The lout in the seat in front of you is going on and on about how Yo Yo Ma is the greatest living cello player, while the guy in back of you, a fan of Finnish virtuoso Anssi Karttun...
American Gladiators, You Have Been Missed
If you're struggling to find something to help pass the time before this evening's festival of basketball, I can't recommend ESPN Classic strongly enough right now. We're in the midst of a 7-episode American Gladiators marathon, starring Zap, Gemini, Malibu, Sunny, Joe Theismann, and a contestant na...
ESPN Continues To Axe Things You Probably Don't Watch
First, Quite Frankly, and now this. ESPN Classic is ceasing to create and air original programming. Norby Williamson, ESPN's executive vice president, let the ESPN Classic people know on Friday that they were being reassigned. ESPN Classic will continue on as a network for the time being, sans origi...