crime Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....

Today In Great Ledes And Accounts Of Recidivism
When Heather Lockwood got to work at the Petoskey News yesterday, she likely had no idea that Freeze Plus P-wielding superhero Mark Wayne Williams was about to swoop into her life. But that's the thing with the Dark Knight. You never know where he is until it's too late. He's already got you. Just ...

Your Daily Update About Horrible Scottish-Soccer Fans
Remember yesterday when a Heart of Midlothian fan wearing a Yankees hat decided to take a running swing at Celtic manager Neil Lennon?...

Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....

Here’s An Update About The Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Earlier today, Philadelphia police announced they'd arrested two of the four imbeciles who beat someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....

Jay Mariotti Charged With Felony Stalking And Assaulting His Ex-Girlfriend Again, Faces Five Years In Prison
According to a press release issued by the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office, former ESPN commentator Jay Mariotti pleaded not guilty today to allegations of stalking and assaulting the former girlfriend he was convicted of assaulting last year. Here's the release in its entirety:...

Here's Video Of Some White Parking-Lot Rage That Left A Guy Hospitalized
Yesterday, police in Philadelphia released video from last weekend that shows four imbeciles beating someone unconscious and face-bashed near a bunch of clubs that tend to attract gorilla juiceheads willing to beat people unconscious and face-bashed in parking lots....

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

Here's The Story Of A Man In Bra And Panties Who Killed A Pygmy Goat While Tweaking On Bath Salts
Lisa Powers of Charleston, WV bought her 4-year-old grandson a pygmy goat on Friday. They named it Bailey, after a Disney Channel show's character. Here's what Grandmother Powers had to say about what happened to Bailey by 3:15 a.m. Monday. The "he" in the quote is neighbor Mark Thompson....

Shin-Soo Choo And His Arresting Officer Combined For A Comedy Of Errors
Indians outfielder Shin-Soo Choo was arrested early Monday morning on DUI charges, the second such Indian and sixth MLB player this year. People smarter and more serious than we, like ESPN's Keith Law, have noticed and called out the trend—Law tweeted, "I'm so glad MLB is directing its time and mone...

Wrestler Could Have Gotten Away With Robbing A Bank If It Wasn't For His Meddling Fans
On the Combat Zone Wrestling field of battle, Nicholas Wilson went by the name of Nick Gage and his was best known for "his daring feats in the ring." Alas, grappling connoisseurs will go a half decade without seeing said daring feats unless they happen to be in a New Jersey state prison....

Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....

Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....

Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall's Wife Allegedly Stabs Him, But He Claims He Fell Onto A Broken Glass Vase
As referenced earlier, Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall is in an intensive care unit, where he's recovering from a stab wound to the stomach. Per the Miami Herald, his blushing new bride Michi Nogami-Marshall was arrested last night on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon in a domestic di...

Phil Jackson's Zenergy Lulled At Least One Person To Sleep In L.A. Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real violent. Like, spitting in faces and hitting people with cars violent....

Holy Shit, This Guy From Arizona Really Might Not Have A Mouth
A Phoenix New Times story, headlined "Mouthless Meth Salesman Busted For Slangin' Meth, Keeping Unauthorized Shotgun Next To Bed," fails to answer one very important question: If Alan John Shepard doesn't actually have a jaw and/or mouth, what happened to it?...
![Reds Pitcher Mike Leake Allegedly Tries To Make Off With $59.88 In Macy's Merchandise [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j50yqmf1klkjpg.jpg)
Reds Pitcher Mike Leake Allegedly Tries To Make Off With $59.88 In Macy's Merchandise [UPDATE]
Well, this is kind of silly. Mike Leake, he who brought you so much delight in the first half of your NL-only fantasy league last year, with his mediocre stuff and good luck, was booked today by the Cincinnati police on misdemeanor theft charges....

The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....

Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....