d-i Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Give The Field Hockey Guys Longer Sticks

I’ve been watching Olympic field hockey all morning, and I have discovered that I quite enjoy the sport. I like how they whack the ball really hard and that there are corner kicks, er, slaps. I do have one critique: The dang sticks are too short!...

Billy Butler Beefs With Catcher, Crushes Huge Dong, Flips Bat

Last night, Oakland A’s DH Billy Butler spiced up a dull 6-3 loss to the Cleveland Indians by getting into an argument with catcher Chris Gimenez, taking a ball off the plate, socking a 442-foot tater, and then laying off an equally huge and authoritative bat flip. It was great....

New York's Other Baseball Team Sends Andrew Miller Off To Cleveland

Just a couple of weeks ago, New York Yankees president/Donald Trump enthusiast Randy Levine asserted that “The Yankees have never been quitters.” Dubious as this claim was, if taken at face value it would suggest that under this true rich asshole the Yankees have reached an unprecedented low point, ...

Guess How Sexist Texas A&M's Event For Female Football Fans Was [UPDATED]

It was pretty damn sexist!...

Vikings Backup QB Out Three Months After Reportedly Trying To Kick His Friend's Locked Door In 

Professional athletes are just like us, in that they occasionally find creative, dumb ways to hurt themselves. They’ve picked up injuries stepping on cacti, celebrating a win, and trying to rescue pizzas. Today, we can add “trying to kick a door down after getting locked out” to this sad list. ...

Someone Help Trevor Bauer Get His Drone Back

Twitter Prankster Fools Sky Sports Into Reading Made Up Facts About Team From Gibraltar

Yesterday afternoon, Celtic lost a 1-0 stunner in Champions League qualifying to the Lincoln Red Imps, who are a semi-professional team from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the lone goal, and Celtic now have to win at home to avoid getting bounced by the best team from a country of 30,000....

Mighty Celtic FC Lose Champions League Qualifier To Lincoln Red Imps, Who We Swear Are A Real Team

Celtic FC’s annual European humiliation came early this year, as they lost today in the Champions League second qualifying round against a team of semi-professionals from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the only goal in the 1-0 victory. ...

The Indians Set A New Franchise Win Streak Record In The Most Difficult Way Possible

For the first time in franchise history, the Cleveland Indians have won 14 consecutive games. And it only took them 19 innings against the Blue Jays to lock down lucky number 14. ...

Nobody Can Beat The Indians Because Nobody Can Hit Them

The Cleveland Indians are on one hell of a hot streak. They went 22-6 in the month of June, and tied a franchise record 13-game winning streak with last night’s victory over the Blue Jays. They beat the Jays the way they’ve been beating a lot of teams lately, by sending most of the batters who come ...

Justin Verlander Had A Very Bad Fifth Inning

Tigers hurler Justin Verlander added another achievement to his list of career accolades today as he allowed four Cleveland home runs in the same inning. We congratulate him on this stunning accomplishment....

O RLY

Juan Uribe Carted Off After Taking A Ground Ball To His Testicles

Cleveland Indians third baseman Juan Uribe was carted off the field in the fourth inning of Sunday’s game against the Los Angeles Angels after Mike Trout’s ground ball bounced into his testicles....

Juan Uribe Grabs Fan's Weenie

When you’re hungry, you’re hungry. The food at Seattle’s ballpark looks pretty damn good, and Juan Uribe couldn’t help himself but reach for this dude’s dog....

Glory Boy Hot Dog Celebrates Too Early, Gets Bodied By Jason Kipnis

If you’re in a hot dog race, there are no rules. You have to look out for your safety at all times, and not, say, turn around to celebrate only for a passing ballplayer to own you with a vicious shoulder check....

Marlon Byrd Suspended 162 Games 

I really don’t want to bury the lede here: Marlon Byrd was still playing baseball, for the Indians, and was having a pretty productive season! But that’s over. The veteran outfielder has accepted a 162-game suspension after a positive PED test....

Francisco Lindor Defeated By Mighty Baseball Bat

The Indians lost to the Rangers, 7-3, tonight and Francisco Lindor lost to his baseball bat, 1-0....

MLB On Colossal Beer Pyramid: "Wow"

What separates man from beast? Humans are weak-skinned bipeds, but our great advantage in this life is our bigass brains. We build. To engineer is human. That’s how we survived in the jungles and took over this planet. Read one way, the story of human history is a long, inexorable march towards the ...

Brandon Phillips Freaked Juan Uribe Out With A Fake Tag

Major League Baseball is apparently all about fun and mischief tonight, as another NL second baseman tricked a baserunner with a deke. Daniel Murphy got Yoenis Cespedes with a fake throw earlier tonight, and Brandon Phillips caught Juan Uribe loafing off second base with his empty glove. Poor Uribe ...

Steve Delabar Walked In Four Straight Runs And It Was The Saddest Shit

You ready for some grim baseball, my friends? Then let me tell you about Steve Delabar, the Reds reliever who walked four straight batters with the bases loaded last night....