d Page 5995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wilson Chandler: Probably Not Gay
Wilson Chandler almost made history last night. You'll recognize that this seems impossible—the NBA is locked out, and Wilson Chandler is probably not skilled enough to make NBA history, except as the league's Swingmanniest Swingman, even when the pros are in session....

NFL Suspends Terrelle Pryor For Breaking The NCAA's Rules
The NFL announced today it will essentially suspend Terrelle Pryor, a player who isn't in the NFL, for violating rules that aren't the NFL's. This is really incredible, and the most incredible part is that what should happen in a sane and just world—Pryor hires a very good attorney who buries the NF...

Georgetown Brawls With Chinese Team
This is not how you do a goodwill tour....

Diddy Goes To School With Russell Westbrook And Baron Davis
Your morning roundup for Aug. 18, the day the kids and the dog prevented a dude from stealing our van. Photo via @kevinlove. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Guy May Be The Biggest High School Football Fan In The History Of The Game
This is divalover159's "shout out to the knox city greyhounds." And "this is the team of the Knox city greyhounds." They're a high-school football team from Texas. They play a scrimmage tomorrow night. Good luck, divalover159. Your time is now. Your time is here....

Here's A Picture Of Justin Tuck, In Full Pads, Pushing A Baby Carriage
Tipster Jack M. says watching 13 seconds of Justin Tuck pushing his baby in a carriage toward Mike Francesa and Tom Coughlin while in full uniform "could be one of the oddest things I've ever seen." Tipster Jack M. probably hasn't seen Michel Lotito in action....

Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...

Some German Soccer Fans Don't Throw Bottles Of Pee And Poo At Foes, But These Ones Did
The German newspaper's headline was "Shit hits the fans at Bundesliga match." That's a hefty burden up to which a story must live. Let's see if this one does:...

Listen To A Lady In A White Bikini Describe How She Handled A 56-Incher
Meet Brenna Burley of Grand Rapids, Minn. She was a virginal sturgeon fisherwoman when she went out, pole in hand, with her boyfriend. He got a bite, but told Ms. Burley she could reel this one in. A 10-minute fight ensued....

Knock Out Chris Rix, Win Five Grand: Here's Your Price List For The Miami Hurricanes' Alleged Football Bounties
In Charles Robinson's Miami shitstorm investigation, Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro claims that he issued bounties for in-game achievements and targets. We've compiled them for your convenience. Here are the players who supposedly collected:...

Here's Video Of A Cheap Shot And Resulting Brawl In Today's Barcelona Vs. Real Madrid Match
Extra time in today's Spanish Supercup second leg went like this: Barcelona was up 3-2 on Lionel Messi's wonderful second goal of the match. So, Real Madrid defender Marcelo decided it would be a good idea to take a cheap shot at just-got-into-the-match Barca noob Cesc Fabregas. That's when the be...

Dumb Corporate Beef Becomes Dumb Kobe Bryant-Brandon Jennings Beef
Under Armour has unleashed a new marketing campaign based around the idea that they're a "Change Agent" in the world of sports gear. The company even released a spoken-word promotional video that includes the sentence "Welcome to the revolution." It does a good job of subliminally positioning Under ...

<em>GQ</em>'s Michael Vick Story Will Just Make White People Angry Again
This one, penned by Yahoo! movie blogger Will Leitch, drops tomorrow at 7 a.m. so the mag has started to send out embargoed teases to other media outlets to get the buzziest buzz going on this thing but, shit, why wait 12 hours for the good stuff? You'll read it all tomorrow on GQ's website, right? ...

This Evening: A Monkey Jumps Out Of The Stands To Thwart Teddy Roosevelt
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 17, the day we received crucial life lessons from Conan the Barbarian. Video via DC Sports Bog. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

NCAA Takes A Good Long Look At Its Rules, Decides To Maybe Allow Student-Athletes To Put Spread On Their Bagels
The NCAA has released their proposed legislation for 2011-2012, a list of bylaw additions and alterations proposed by member conferences. Some are important; others are less so, and they'll all be voted on at the Board of Directors meeting next year, and could go into effect next summer....

The Worst Time To Make Up A Quote From A GM Calling One Of His Players Crazy Is Probably In That Player's Obituary
Or, anyway, we think that the worst time you can invent a GM's quote calling a player "crazy" is in that player's obituary....

You Won't Believe The Crazy Shit That Happened At Tony Romo's Bachelor Party
"The 31-year-old signal-caller and his 14 or 15 buddies ditched the alcohol and partying. Instead, they traveled to a cabin in West Virginia and played a few games of hide-and-seek." [Dallas Morning News]...

There's Always A Silver Lining To A Serena Williams Injury
"Despite the injury, Williams said she may now attend her celebrity friend Kim Kardashian's wedding this weekend to [Nets] basketball player Kris Humphries. 'Now that I have time I probably will,' said Williams. 'I hadn't thought about it.'" [Yahoo]...

Philip Rivers Doesn't Agree With Or Understand Total QBR
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rivers isn't much for math, but he knows it when he sees it....