d Page 5999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
11-Year-Old Makes Impossible Hockey Shot, May Get Screwed Out Of $50,000
Little Nick and Nate Smith learned two valuable lessons about life. First, sometimes miracles do happen. From 89 feet out, Nate put a 3-inch hockey puck into a 3½-inch slot. But Nate also learned that insurance companies are the devil, and they will fuck you over, just bend you right over the dash...
Oh, Look. Mark Sanchez Is Shirtless In <em>GQ</em> Again.
Your morning roundup for Aug. 15, the day after we learned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have moved on to a life of crime. Photo via GQ. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Just Like Magic, Two Middling Bears Running Backs Can Fuse Together To Form One Middling Bears Running Back
Spotted, last night at Soldier Field, a couple whose love is built on a foundation of middling former Bears running backs....
Sports And Comedy, Always Secretly Intertwined
One more Deadspin Comedy Week submission, from clever commenter AzureTexan....
Yes, This IndyCar Driver Needed Both Middle Fingers For His Salute To The Race Officials Live On ABC (Update With Video)
Some background to driver Will Power's double-barreled message from today's Indy 225 at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway, courtesy of tipsters Dave and sassojr:...
Lady In Steph Curry Jersey And Leggings At Outside Lands Gives Us Our First Floopster Of The Season
At first I thought this was a man, which would have been a hoopster to end all hoopsters. Dangly earrings, big scarf, a ponytail, leggings, and a cool player's jersey....
BREAKING: Dan Uggla Is Not Joe DiMaggio
Cubs win, Cubs win, and the Braves' second baseman's hitting streak ends at 33. Aw....
The New York Islanders Will Have A Party To Celebrate The Bloody Low Point Of Last Season
Undeterred by that whole Probably Moving to Kansas City thing, the Islanders are throwing a party at Champions Sports Bar in Uniondale, NY to celebrate the goriest night of last night's hockey season....
Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....
I-Team: Help Us Solve The Mystery Of Mitch Albom's Ears
Tipster Chad D. (or Chadd?) writes in, [sic]s and all:...
Our Five Favorite Funny Athlete Movie/TV Appearances
Plenty of athletes are funny. But these are our top 5 performances by athletes being funny on purpose in a movie or tv show....
Wisely, Ned Colletti Is Already Plotting His Exit Strategy
"Q: You're big on hockey. Any desire to be an NHL GM?...
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Matt Goldich
Who? Matt is from Philadelphia, though he started performing in New York while he was a writer on Stump The Schwab. He went on to write for The Late Show with David Letterman. Matt's style is subtle and hyperarticualte. Watch the first joke on his clip because it is one of my favorite jokes by a c...
Zack Greinke Bunts To You From Germany And/Or The Future
Your morning roundup for August 14, the day the New York Times trend piece hit a new low.....
Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...
Let's Watch Two Chimps Kissing And Biting One Another
This video was taken at the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore. Zoological voyeurism is the new black....
Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...
Plaxico Burress Talks About What Happens When You Shoot Yourself
Here's one choice selection from an HBO "Real Sports" segment on Jets WR Plaxico Burress, who shot himself with an unlicensed handgun in a Manhattan night club on Nov. 28, 2008:...
This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Another week, another onslaught of people seeing phallus in unlikely places, capturing it on film and sending it in. Like that fountain that Luke S. saw in Siena, Italy, a few days back....
Membership In "The James Bond Gang" May Have Cost Troubled Basketball Player His NBA Dream
In 2004, Sean Banks was named Conference USA freshman of the year for his court work at the University of Memphis. A year later, he was declared academically ineligible for his school work, or lack thereof. What followed was an undrafted free-agent singing with the Hornets that ended because of his...