d Page 6025 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Spencer Hawes Honors The Seattle SuperSonics With A Terrible Haircut
The people of Seattle will go to great lengths to honor their former team. They will heckle billionaires. They will refuse free, courtside seats to the NBA playoffs. And they will shave an outline of the Seattle Space Needle into the backs of their heads....
My Frustrating Sexting Sessions With Ron Artest
At first, I thought Ron Artest, the man you may now know as Metta World Peace, and I could become friends. Blame my naivete, ego, or optimism, but I really thought this could be platonic....
Jay Cutler Re-Lists Himself As Single On Facebook (UPDATE: Fraudulence!)
(Ed note: NBC now retracts their earlier report, confirming that the Cutler Facebook page was a fake. I'll leave this post up so you can point and laugh at me.)...
On The Phone With Ron Artest, And Matthew Hiltzik, The Michael Clayton Of Dong Shots
Is this true? "No, not at all."...
Mario Balotelli Punished For "Unprofessional"-And-Also-Failed Backheel Goal Attempt
Mario Balotelli, the 20-year-old Italian striker who plays for Manchester City, attempted a backheel goal in a friendly against the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday, and it did not go well. He missed the goal by a few feet and was immediately pulled from the game. Youth soccer coaches across the world are ...
MMA Sexpot Gina Carano Is Starring In A Soderbergh Movie With A Bunch Of Real Actors
A lot of female MMA fighters don't like Gina Carano because they don't look like Gina Carano. Well, shoot. The world ain't fair. Carano hasn't fought in over two years, when she got the bejeezus beat out of her by Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos. Yet Carano has leveraged her pretty face into a pretty sw...
This Is How Kris Draper Ends: Not With A Bang But A Premature Photo Caption
After being traded to the Red Wings for the princely sum of one American dollar, Kris Draper racked up quite the career over 17 years in Detroit. But this past season was a disappointing one for the 40-year-old Draper, in which he missed nearly half his team's games with injuries and (more tellingly...
Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Wonders Are Still Unceasing
Yesterday, the New York Yankees' veteran salvage-heap starter — and barometer of existential significance — took the mound against the Oakland Athletics. How did he (and by extension, all humankind) fare? 7.0 IP, 8 H, 2 R, 4 K. Joy reigns once more, till the next time....
Eric Wedge's Mustache Tweets From The Dead
From an iPhone, no less. When the Mariners' losing streak reached 14 games Saturday night, manager Eric Wedge made the "drastic" decision to shave his 'stache, thinking it might help with karma or whatever. It didn't, as Seattle lost again to Boston yesterday. The People Against Eric Wedge's Mustac...
Breaking: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $171.45, But That's Because He Didn't Pay Last Month's Bill
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....
Kevin Durant Is Not Ashamed Of His "Business" Tats
News broke last week that Kevin Durant, the humble 22-year-old who also happens to be a professional basketball player, is extremely tatted up. The Thunder blog over at The Oklahoman has some specifics on Durant's ink, which — if you could not already tell from the careful placement — he covers up i...
UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste Spotted Making Out With A Giant Banana Penis
These UFC ring girls have tough lives, let me tell you. They prance about in bikinis, get schtupped by fighters and create art that would make Michelangelo weep. None of them appears to have more than a lone synapse firing upstairs. This one is Arianny Celeste. She's the queen of the ring girls. Acc...
Qatar Will Soon Host Every Sporting Event
Not content with a World Cup, the Emir of Qatar has set into motion his plans to host the ceremonial first leg of the 2016 Tour De France. While it's not unprecedented to hold the Grand Depart in a neighboring country, it would be something else to stick it in the Middle East, where, as FIFA seems t...
The Best Argument For Eliminating Offensive Pass Interference
Different football (Australian), different rules (as far as we can tell from watching this televised Calvinball that airs on the wee hours on ESPN2, there are no rules). But we're still awestruck by this move that Carlton's Andrew Walker pulled on Saturday night....
You Know, Baseball Really Needs To Do More To Protect Its Umpires
Your morning roundup for July 25, the day we learned of the Russians' plans to invade a beach in Brooklyn. H/T to Dave Littlefield for the video, though we kinda wish it had been from the real Dave Littlefield. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Marv Levy Says His Novel About A Bunch Of Rigged Super Bowls Is Totally Fictional, OK?
Former Buffalo Bills coach Marv Levy has written a forthcoming novel, presumably to ride the sinusoidal arc of American letters back upward....
What The NFL Could Learn From A Soccer Match Played At One Of Its Stadiums Last Night
Last night, Real Madrid closed out an undefeated American tour with a 2-1 win over the Philadelphia Union at Lincoln Financial Field, the home of the Philadelphia Eagles. The MLS side ceded those goals early. The scores were impressive, the type you'd expect from a world powerhouse....
Tour De France, Stage 21: A Bloodless Conclusion To A Bloody Race
The last stage of the Tour de France is designed to make you forget all those times that Grand Tour cyclists come off like persnickety bitches. It's a day of good feelings. A gentleman's agreement obtains whereby no one attacks the yellow jersey, and there's champagne to sip along the first few kilo...
Don't Dream It's Over: Disney Permanently Cancels ESPN: The Weekend
Last week, we mentioned, barely suppressing our glee, that ESPYs ratings had hit their lowest point in 16 years. With similar exuberance, we gave you ESPN's condom-obsessed in-house standards bible. Death knells....