d Page 6077 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If A Canadian Team Wins A Title, Will They Visit The White House?
Should the Canucks win one of the next two games, they'll partake in one of the greatest traditions in pro sports: spending time with the Stanley Cup. But will they, or the Cup, receive the White House invite that's standard for championship teams? More to the point, would an American President hono...

Greetings From The Managing Editor
Hello, readership! Wasn't that some good sports last night? The winning athletes played the game tremendously well. The losers had some definite shortcomings, didn't they?...

104-Year-Old Woman Celebrates Birthday At Tigers Game, Wastes Her Life
Her birthday was actually last month, but that game was naturally rained out. So yesterday Mary Johnson braved the 50-degree temperatures to take in her first Tigers game since 1936. The Tigers lost, of course....

What It's Like To Fall In Front Of A Speeding Formula One Car — Twice
It's scary, mainly. This steward (marshal?) at yesterday's waterlogged Canadian Grand Prix was trying to clear debris from the track when he went down on the rain-slicked road, and had trouble regaining his feet. It's like Steamboat Bill Jr. wandered into Tom Pryce's final race....

At Least One Newspaper Thinks The Heat Won
They're looking to punch every one of you in the gut with a Macy's ad congratulating the Heat on their title, and offering championship gear for sale. Which...still doesn't really make a lot of sense, considering that if Miami had won last night, the series would still be going on. Oh well. Instead ...

Here's Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki Das Booting An $80K Bottle Of Champagne
Your morning roundup for June 13, the day some variation of "flippin'" made Sarah Palin's email word cloud. Dirk drinking photo via @skindoeshoops....

Mark Cuban Says Dallas Punked The Shit Out Of Miami Fans, And He Says It Repeatedly
Yes, Mark Cuban dropped the s-bomb on SportsCenter. But he'd been practicing. This is what happens when a guy doesn't get to talk to the media for a week....

V-LBJ Day
Mavs, in six, 105-95. LeBron was -24 tonight. Dirk's your MVP....

Your Mavs/Heat Game Six Open Thread
Nobody has the flu tonight. So we're told. Dallas leads 3-2 going on the road, just like the world champion 2010 Celtics. This ain't over, not yet, at least. Bienvenido a Miami....

May <i>SI's</i> Creepy Jason Kidd Photo Forever Invade Your Nightmares
Tipster Neil alerts us to SI.com's album of "Rare Jason Kidd Photos" (note to self: assemble album of rare Jason Kapono photos, don't tell anyone, profit), and one photo in particular....

HOLY SHIT LEBRON HAS SIX TOES ON HIS RIGHT FOOT (BREAKING: MAYBE JUST FIVE)
And now we know what Stephen A. Smith was talking about. This comes straight off the watermarked NBA wire....

Michael Vick Delivered A Graduation Speech, But No One Paid Attention
Remember Dwight Eisenhower's famous farewell address, where he warned us of the military-industrial complex, but we didn't listen to him and wound up in lots of unnecessary (and unnecessarily costly) wars? Maybe this is the lowbrow version of that address....

There Is A New World's Shortest Man; Say Hi To 23.6-Inch Junrey, Everybody
This is an 18 year-old. We have to admit that we're a little baffled. He's from the Philippines, too, so you know it's only a matter of time before he fights Manny Pacquiao on national television while literally everyone in the nation watches....

What It's Like Being The Only Drunk One At The Frenzied Malaysian Soccer Cup
The 2011 Malaysia FA Cup played its championship game yesterday—Terengganu FA defeated Kelantan FA, 2-1, and Cyrus_the_Virus, who says he was the drunkest person out of 80,000 spectators (Malaysia is a Muslim nation), was on hand for the sights and sounds, a stranger in a strange land....

Watch Eric Hassli's MLS Goal Of The Year
One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick rec...

<i>NY Daily News</i> Stretches "NFL Star" To Its Breaking Point
Here's the headline in today's New York Daily News: "Bret Lockett and Kim Kardashian? NFL star comes clean: ‘I never met Kim, but we sexted'." This is a report following up on In Touch's headline: "Five-month affair with NFL star Bret Lockett behind fiancé's back."...

The Twitter Flameout Of Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner
SB Nation discovered ol' Harvey on Twitter on Friday. By Saturday, he had called it a Twitter career....

Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...

Bill Plaschke Tries Bill Simmons On For Size
With today's game six preview column, Plaschke has entered the pantheon of writers who write like Bill Simmons....

This Is How Panama Thanks Us For The Canal
Your morning roundup for June 12, the day we made out with Mary-Kate....