d Page 6086 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let The Tender Majesty Of Freestyle Canoeing Guide You Into The Warm June Night
Skip to 1:20, turn the volume up to a sufficient, yet not excessive level, and watch Marc Ornstein's canoe glide across the lake like a waterborne gazelle on a half-dose of Ambien....
Vancouver Announcers Have Different Opinion About Taunt By Vancouver Player, Believe It Or Not
The hubbub over Alex Burrows' biting Patrice Bergeron's finger in Game 1 intensified when the not-suspended Burrows scored two goals in the next game, including the game-winner. Max Lapierre didn't exactly help the cause when he offered Bergeron his own digit as compensation. "Have a bite! There's...
Don't Handcuff Yourself To The Back Of An Accelerating Race Car
"It's like anything else," Matthew "Moodini" Mooney said after the half-second he allotted himself to escape from being chained to a race car before it accelerated proved not to be enough. In a broad sense, I suppose. It was only his third time attempting the trick (he was 2 for 2 before), and hop...
Man Gets Wasted At Company Softball Game, Emails Company To Brag About DUI And Getting Kicked Out Of A Bar
If you're at a corporate softball outing with alcohol, it's best not to get totally smashed in front of all your co-workers, especially if you have work the next day. If you get totally smashed and have work the next day, it's best to call it a night. If you don't call it a night, it's best to avoid...
If You Think Buster Posey Got It Bad, Watch Johnny Bench Absolutely Unload On This Chicken
The fallout over the season-ending Buster Posey collision has reached the Hall of Fame. Johnny Bench didn't stick up for his fellow catcher, blaming the situation on Posey:...
Austrian Tennis Player Gets Lifetime Ban For Match-Fixing, Being A Huge Dick
Daniel "Crazy Dani" Köllerer has been banned from tennis for life and fined $100,000 by the ATP. Harsh. What'd he do?...
Chris Johnson Rap Features A Nonstop Busy Signal
Chris Johnson released a single via Twitter. It samples a busy signal. It is terrible. [Chris Johnson]...
This Would Be An Apt Metaphor If There Were An NBA Team Named The Sharks
Your morning roundup for June 5, the day we read about Gilbert Arenas' deep sea exploits....
Here's 100 Japanese Children Playing Against A Professional Soccer Team
The best parts are the corner kick (1:44) and the goal (3:50). I always wondered about how this would work, whether skill could overcome large numbers. Would it be possible to put a group together of 8 NBA players that couldn't beat the Heat starting lineup? Can an outfield of the two best center ...
Watch Sebastien Buemi Hit A Crazy Fan With His F1 Car In Japan
Formula One driver Sebastien Buemi was in Japan at a Red Bull F1 Exhibition when a fan attempted to jump over his moving race car with predictably disastrous results. [Jalopnik]...
Chicago Columnist Wants To Raise The Rims, Is Against The Passage Of Time
Dunks made up about 7% of points scored in the 2010-11 season. That's too many, says Sun-Times columnist Rick Telander, and it's time to raise the rim by half a foot:...
It’s In The Game, Unless It’s Outside The Lines
Without fail, every time I bring up this job with folks outside the business, the topical jokes start rolling. Whatever the latest controversy or embarrassment is in sports, people ask if that's going to be simulated in the next edition… [Kotaku] ...
Derek Anderson Got Defensive, Was Possibly Wrong About Defensive Schemes At 2 AM Last Night
Late last night, Derek Anderson tweeted this:...
Here Comes The <em>Rocky</em> Musical
A Rocky musical has just been picked up by European producers. It'll play in Germany next year, then head to New York in 2013:...
Marlins President Talks About His Penis Pump, Porn, Being Careful About What You Say On Twitter
Logan Morrison is one of baseball's most prolific tweeters, and some of his vaguely salacious tweets have landed him in vaguely hot water with management. David Samson, Marlins President, had this to say:...
Wayne Rooney Gets A Hair Transplant, Ensuing Self-Esteem Boost Surely Enough To Beat Barca
"Just to confirm to all my followers I have had a hair transplant. I was going bald at 25 why not. I'm delighted with the result." If anyone has pictures, you know what to do. [@WayneRooney]...
A-Rod "Kosher" With Keeping Cousin Away From Locker Room, Doesn't Comment On Keeping Milk Away From Meat
Yuri Sucart, Alex Rodriguez's cousin and former steroid supplier, was again the subject of controversy after being spotted in the Yankees' hotel lobby in San Francisco. Sucart isn't allowed in the Yanks' locker room or any other team-controlled area. But did you know that Major League Baseball can't...
Lil Jon Still Supports Dutch National Team Even After Drug Tourism Crackdown
Your morning roundup for June 4, the day our plumbing issues got put in perspective. Pic via....
EA Sports Celebrates <em>NCAA Football 12</em> with the Sexy Sax Man
You may have heard of him. (This video, uploaded in March, has more than 6 million views.) Sexy Sax Man is quite the guerrilla artist, barging in bare-chested on food courts, laundromats, Walmarts and college classrooms to belt out… [Kotaku] ...