da Page 1028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hamburger Face Won't Keep This Tour De France Rider Down
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Old Onion dummy text, but it might make an appropriate headline for any given day at this year's Tour de France, aka DeathFrance 3000....
Meat Loaf Was My Softball Coach
In 1991, I was a high school freshman in the small town of Redding, Conn. My brother was a senior, and his prom date was one of our neighbors down the street, a junior, Pearl Aday. Pearl would drive me home from softball practice when her father, our coach, was unable to. I preferred Pearl, as her d...
Planking Reaches Its Inevitable Low Point With These Two Dallas News Anchors Named Chip And Tim
They ruined it for us....
Anyone Want A Life-Size Wall Decal Of Dan Gilbert's Bowtied Son?
Nick Gilbert, the breathing, five-foot talisman that charmed Cleveland to Kyrie Iring in May, wowed us with his snazzy enthusiasm at the lottery....
Mike Leach: "ESPN Isn’t Going To Let Little Inconvenient Details Like Facts Get In The Way Of Their Agenda"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leach is the only one not under a gag order....
Cubs And Marlins Do Their Best To Out-Lowlight One Another
The Cubs blew a 3 2-0 lead against the Marlins last night in a ninth inning that saw Chicago closer Carlos Marmol booed off the mound by the friendly hometown crowd. The hurt started with this Greg Dobbs hit to right field, which — despite Dewayne Wise's unprovoked face-plant as he headed toward h...
1989's Back Again, In The SkyDome Opening That Featured Thousands Of Canadians Capering About, Plus Alan Thicke
Toronto's Rogers Centre was introduced in June 1989 as the SkyDome, at a time when the name "SkyDome" suggested an exciting future full of retractable roofs and mud-free Argonauts games, which we'd have to agree are two of the greatest developments of the past twenty-plus years....
Duchess Kate Is The Future Queen Of Mutton Bustin'
Here are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surveying the remains of empire at the Calgary Stampede. The Duchess, according to the indispensable (and endearingly capitalized) official website of The British Monarchy, "is a keen sportswoman, and has been involved in many different sports over the year...
Now Playing: The Coldplay-Scored Trailer For Tony Romo's Wedding
The NFL quarterback wedding season is officially upon us, America, and for that, we are thankful — because the quarterbacks in question keep making embarrassing documentation of their weddings available to the general public. First, there was Mr. and Mrs. Flacco in formation, and today, we present...
Stare At Colin Cowherd For A While, For A Good Cause
Here is how we know ESPN hates people with cancer: if you want to donate money to The V Foundation, you're forced to hang out with the likes of Colin Cowherd and Mike & Mike....
MLS Proves Soccer Superiority Over EPL With Fluke Goalkeeper Goal
When a mid-table American side takes on a mid-table English side in a friendly, you throw out the record books. San Jose faced off against West Brom last night, and both sides rested most of their starters because, c'mon, it's San Jose vs. West Brom. But that meant that Earthquakes keeper David Bi...
¡Escandalo Cibersexo!
Mexico's Copa America squad has already been decimated by prostitutes. Now, an Argentinian model has sold some photo and videos to the tabloids, allegedly featuring an online encounter with an U17 World Cup player, at 1:20 the night before a big match. [Guanabee]...
What It's Like When The Media Circle Their Prey (With Attorneys!): Documents From ESPN's Lawsuit Against Ohio State
When news of the Jim Tressel memorabilia scandal broke in March, the media peppered Ohio State with public records requests. Ohio State deflected as many as possible. The school made life difficult for us. More important, the school made life difficult for ESPN. And you do not anger the worldwide le...
The One Where Some Guy Tries To Sell Us Proof That Bernie Kosar's Daughter Is Doing Porno
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...
The Marlins Give Up
Answer quickly, without looking it up: what's the name of the Marlins' stadium?...
The First Casualty Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit Might Be Dan Snyder's Dumbass Lawyer
Failed journalist and wretched lawyer Dave Donovan announced today that he's leaving his job as Chief Operating Officer of the Redskins to return to the law firm whence he came (and where, ostensibly, lawyers can actually convince clients not to file dumbass lawsuits). Donovan attributes his decisio...
Bad Beats: Adrian Gonzalez Will Win Tonight's Home Run Derby
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....
David Beckham's New Daughter Is Named Seven
David and Victoria Beckham have welcomed to the world the sixth member of their family, their fourth child and first daughter: Harper Seven. In terms of bizarre athlete baby names, this one ranks somewhere between George Foreman III and George Foreman IV. Everyone's trying to come up with an explan...
Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....
Make This North Dakota TV Sports Reporter Go Poor — For A Good Cause
For one more hour, KELO sports reporter Jim Madalinsky has promised to donate one dollar of his own salary for every new Facebook "like" he gets to Minot River flood relief. (That's in North Dakota). Go see if you can make him regret that decision. For some background, read the email below....