da Page 1093 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bobby V Comes Out Of The Closet As Someone Who Doesn't Quite Understand The Closet Metaphor
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Tim Tebow And The Broncos: A Match Made In Metaphorical Heaven
Tebow, describing either the orgy scene in Caligula or his first meeting with Josh McDaniels: "There was passion. It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome."...

Jose Canseco Particularly Concerned With Government-Ordered Extermination
Canseco, never one to filter his thoughts on Twitter, outdid himself this week. Sure, it's all likely part of some desperate attempt to drum up publicity, but...uh...damn. You're welcome, I guess. High(?)lights below:...

Jason Campbell Traded to the Raiders, LenDale White and Leon Washington Go to the Seahawks
Said Campbell to ESPN: "I talked to [Al] Davis, and he... wants me to help their team to a new level." Presumably Davis meant the 9th level, so he can take over for Lucifer in a frozen lake of ice....

Orel Hershiser Goes To Coachella: The Lost Tweets
You may not be aware of this, but late-'80s Los Angeles Dodgers pitching legend Orel Hershiser has been missing for almost a week now. He was last heard from on Friday, April 17th, somewhere inside the Coachella Music Festival in Indio, California....

Australian Rugby Team Nearly Destroyed Over Salary Cap Violations
One of Australia's top rugby teams was caught secretly exceeding the league salary cap by $1.7 million over five years. The penalty? They have to return two championships, forfeit every game this season and the cops have been called. Yikes....

Everyone Can Get Behind These Sedin Twins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Don Nelson, Very Hands On When Bathing His Dog
Dirk Nowitzki says he once walked in on Nellie and his dog Lucky in the hot tub. If he had decided to join them, it would have looked like every German porno ever. [Sports Radio Interviews]...

Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....

Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...

<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...

In Case You Missed The Horrible Live Chat With Sarah Silverman, Here's A Rundown
From dealing with her handlers or her publicist or assistant or handbag holder or whatever other title given to the people hired to manage Sarah Silverman's Literary Life, this live chat, dear loathsome readers, sucked....

Big Ben's Woman Problems The Result Of Stunted Psychosexual Development, Says Guy Who Writes About Sports
Ben Roethlisberger mistreats women because he has "deep-seated" issues relating to his childhood separation from his mother-figure. "I think Ben needs help," writes Mike Klis of The Denver Post, who when he's not diagnosing psychosocial pathologies usually writes about the Broncos....

Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....

It's White Supremacy Night At Safeco Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....

Anyone Want A Photo Of David Aardsma's Penis?
The Mariners closer has allegedly taken a nude photo of himself and sent it to someone via cell phone, and now one enterprising individual wants to find it a suitable home....

Lone, Courageous Voice Rises In Praise Of Boston Sports
National columnist Lil' Dan O'Shaughnessy introduces us to a sleepy Northeastern burg that you probably don't know the name of, but actually has several professional sports franchises! (Ergo, they are also the best.) Oh, brother.... [SI]...

CRACK BABY VS. AIDS BABY? An Audio Funbag With Adam Carolla
Worlds are colliding, folks. Number one podcaster in the universe Adam Carolla was nice enough to record an audio funbag with us, in which he answers some of your most probing questions....
