da Page 1098 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Beckham's Torn Achilles Moves British Poet Laureate To Write Dreadful Verse
"[T]his poem is written," Carol Ann Duffy announces, "to draw a parallel with Achilles, who gave his name to Beckham's injury." Uh-oh....

Last Night's Winner: Michael David Barrett
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michael David Barrett, Erin Andrews's peeper, who was sentenced yesterday to two-and-a-half years in prison and life as another triple-named American villain....

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

Prepare For Deadspin's Preposterous Spring Break Week, Featuring Pat Jordan
Sometimes we get lofty ideas, ones that seem great in theory, but are impossible to execute and may unexpectedly end with a wounded frog. Here's another: Pat Jordan, revered wildman sportswriter, is covering Spring Break in Daytona Beach for us....

David Beckham Tears Achilles, Will Miss Opportunity To Vomit On The Field In Another World Cup
Beckham snapped his left achilles and will not get a chance to sit on England's bench in South Africa. Stiff upper lip, though: "The romantic notion of him seizing the day and inspiring England to glory was poppycock." [Guardian]...

Erin Andrews and Dick Vitale Cut A Rug
EA is going to be doing it with the stars, and Dickie V is getting psyched for the Big one. So why not share a dance before yesterday's Duke/Miami game?...

It's Like <em>Get On The Bus</em>, Only A Lot Whiter
Due to Apocalypse-force storms in the Northeast, Notre Dame took an 18-hour bus ride back to South Bend after being bounced from the Big East tourney. Worst National Lampoon's Vacation movie ever. [WNDU]...

The Best Defense Is...Any Defense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The One Where ESPN.Com Engages In Unnecessary Censorship Of This Little Girl
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Stories That Don't Suck: Axl Rose, Hockey Goons, Cassius Bom-Ba-Ye, Dr. Z In The USSR
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Entrepreneurs Will Not Rest Until Every Lame Tiger Woods Joke Has Been Commodified
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Evil Russians, Selfish Canadians Go To War Over Rubber And Graphite
Just when you thought the drama over Sidney Crosby's misplaced gear had subsided, representatives from two nations go to war with the Hockey HOF over ownership. The antagonists are a private collector from Russia, and...the city of Vancouver?...

Nerds, Catholics And State Schools Vie For Meaningless Honorific
Here's a pretty fascinating look at which programs can lay claim to being the "winningest" of all time. Rich Rodriguez has a good shot at literally ruining UM's legacy. [Detroit Free Press]...

You Put Baylor Fans In Kansas City, You're Gonna Get A Mustache
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today In <em>SportsCenter</em> Fashion: Doug Gottlieb's Mentos Commercial Couture
In which we examine the occasionally controversial wardrobe choices on everyone's favorite morning serial. In this installment, Doug Gottlieb....

Conviction In Darrent Williams Murder Trial
A Denver jury has found Willie D. Clark guilty in the 2007 murder of Denver Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams. His sentencing is scheduled for April 10. [Denver Post, Westword]...

Inflatable Dong-Tongued Mascot Returns To Eat ESPN's Michelle Beadle
Mackerel Jordan, last seen devouring hapless university athletic department employees, appeared on SportsNation yesterday. After being mocked by Michelle Beadle, the man-fish did what man-fish do best: feast....

Ron Darling Not High On Mets This Year And Has Attractive Wife, Says My Dad
Subject: "scoop": aj,talked to ron darling in the hot tub.asked him if the mets could catch the phillies".no way the phillies are too strong".his wife is a knockout her name is joanna last.could be wip material.dad...

Beadle Distressed By Inflatable Dong Tongue; Cowherd, Not So Much
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Florida State Has Asterisks Everywhere
FSU's Sod Cemetery contains grass from the sites of important road wins; some of which, according to the NCAA, are no longer wins. One fan of jurisprudence (and the Gators) took it upon himself to update the headstones. [EDSBS]...