da Page 1103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mike & Mike Would Like To Make Your Valentine's Day Miserable
After 20 emails, ESPN readers are confused as to why Golic and Greenberg are trying to coax them into entering a contest for a chance to win, what appears to be, two snakes 69-ing on top of a diamond. [ESPN.com]...

Caps Fan Doesn't Actually Know Size Of Jordan Staal's Penis
It looked for all the world like that fan was impugning the, uh, curve of Staal's stick. Not so. Now we get the real story....

Roy Williams Is A Clueless Dick
North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home....

Maybe Tiger Woods Should Hire These People To Help Him Keep His Celibacy Contract
ABC News did a piece on on sex addiction and what Tiger Woods' new life will be like as the world's number one coozehound playing golf. He should fire Stevie Williams and bring on "Da Crabs Assassin" as his caddy....

How Is The Isiah Thomas Era Working Out For Florida International?
Not well: The Golden Panthers are 7-19 and "have sold a total of 1,075 individual tickets for nine home games." At least freshman Steven Miro—who turned down Columbia and Harvard to play for Thomas (seriously!)—is happy....

Erin Andrews Stalker Planned To Peep On Other Female Sports Reporters
According to the sentencing memorandum, Michael David Barrett had planned on ruining the lives of at least 30 other women — including other female sports reporters and actresses. Also, Andrews is asking for $335,000 in restitution. [TSG]...

Your Blizzard-Proof Biggest Mailbag Ever
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email me here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering the miso paste test, elevators, zombies, shoveling, and more....

Enraptured Saints Fans Decorate Drew Brees' Home With 'Thank You' Shrine
The front gates of Drew Brees' home near Uptown turned into one giant display of heartfelt gratitude for his quarterbacking service to Who Dat Nation. One reader, who lives close by, gave us some pictures. See more after the MORE....

Nightmares Never Sleep
The chilling new Air Jordan 2010 commercial shows what it's like to guard Dwyane Wade – a nightmare. But it doesn't stop there. An online Nightmare experience challenges you to master the skills that allow D-Wade to strike fear in opponents on courts everywhere. ...

You Saw It Yesterday During the Big Game: Dante's Inferno
In Dante's Inferno, Dante must save the hotness (puns!) that is Beatrice from the eternal torture of becoming Satan's betrothed by diving into the pit of hell and battling every nasty beast he encounters, including Cerberus and Phlegyas. Trailer after the jump!...

Meanwhile, Florida State Oh So Quietly Vacates A Bunch Of Bobby Bowden's Victories
FSU, in a fit of Super Bowl Sunday housecleaning, throws out 12 football victories, 22 men's basketball victories, a track championship, some old Sam Cassell photos, and a bunch of expired Foot Locker coupons. [Orlando Sentinel, Daily Fix]...

Bourbon Street Has Not Been Set On Fire (Yet)
If you go to NOLA.com right now, you can watch their live Bourbon Street cam, which is a little sluggish because most of America is clicking on it, hoping to catch a stray boob....

Reggie Bush's Self-Proclaimed Jump-Off Would Like To Show You Some Proof
The woman who claims she came between Reggie and Kim Kardashian has released a video of her in a bikini at Bush's home. Also, she's gotten a creepily Kim K-like makeover. Fatal Attraction stuff, after the jump....

How To Insure You're Alone Next Valentine's Day
The high bid is only $300 (with an estimated value of $850!) with two days remaining, but let's be honest. Anyone who would bid on the "Sausages Serenade Your Sweetheart" package probably doesn't have a sweetheart to serenade. [MLB.com Auctions]...

Lady Makes Left Turns, Acquits Self Nicely; Apparently A Huge Step Forward For Entire Gender
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Signing Day Was Best Ever, Says Every Coach Everywhere
Now that the first letters of intent have been signed and sealed, one indisputable fact emerges: every single school had its best recruiting class of all time. Let's look at the not-at-all hyperbolic statements from around the country....

Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin's Affinity For Young Teenage Boys
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Lane Kiffin, who's already made a cannonball splash at USC thanks to an aspirational verbal commitment from a 13-year-old boy....

The Always-Controversial Weather Channel Sees A Hurricane WhoDat Comin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Seantrel Henderson Won Signing Day
It's good to be a five-star recruit. The Minnesota product was flown to New York by the CBS College Sports Network to announce his choice. But that pales in comparison to the treatment his suitors gave him....