da Page 1165 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Message To Heat Vision Jesus
Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday afternoon. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK here....

John Daly Gets All Smashy With Fan's Camera
What happens when you get close to John Daly with an item that isn't either donuts or booze; he destroys it. Here's Australian Open fan Brad Clegg and what used to be his camera....

Lendale White Suggests Panther Swipe
"If they want a nickname, I can nickname them: 'Identity and Theft,'" said White, who's successfully paired with the speedy rookie Chris Johnson this season. "...I was upset because I made that phrase up myself. I mean I made it up. I don't know about NFL Network and all those other guys. I heard so...

Antonio Bryant Mouths Off About ESPN Because Some Suggested He Mouthed Off A Lot
Antonio Bryant had a brilliant performance Monday night when he tallied 200 yards receiving, two touchdowns and an amazing one-handed end zone catch that sent Mike Tirico's heart aflutter. The 5-year wideout is enjoying a career year for the Bucaneers, after brief, unsuccessful stints with the Cowbo...

Graham Harrell Will Be Your Man For All Seasons
Isn't this an adorable picture? According to these fine destinations, the gentleman in the top left corner decked out in a snazzy Christmas sweater is Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell. The sweater is one more befitting of an early 90's R & B group or a NAMBLA holiday card than a Heisman hopeful...

Sonya Curry Back On American Radars
I don't understand the Sonya Curry phenomenon. (Actually, I didn't even know there was one, but apparently it's tearing up the charts.) The mother of Davidson sharpshooter Stephen Curry is an attractive 40-something teacher and a former athlete herself, but does that really make her any more interes...

SHOTY First Round: Dana Jacobson Vs. Erin Andrews
It's the final first round matchup, and it's a fun one, methinks. Ah, if only these two pictures could somehow be combined. Anyway, this is the last time with a new matchup. So everybody vote. Yes, please, Facebook people too....

If Mark Cuban Were An Abusive Hobbit
Looking for a toy that will compliment your child's ADHD while teaching him many new profanities in the process? It's the Ref-Baiting Mark Cuban Doll, with military stompin' boots and, apparently, kung-fu grip. Also, please note the "choking hazard" warning at the top, most likely added during the 2...

Goodbye Cruel Hexagon-Paneled World
I have threatened suicide many times — the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber is the chief culprit — but I can't imagine this. A soccer fan in Rio de Janeiro climbed to the top of a stadium roof and tried to jump off, all because his favorite team, Vasco de Gama, was going to be demoted from the first lea...

USC Wins Hypothetical Playoff According To Vegas Odds
Leave it to Las Vegas to sate all our needs. Even those we didn't know we had before. (I'm looking at you midget escort service.) Everyone knows that the idea of a playoff is so awfully complicated that it would require a Manhattan Project-level commitment before anything could happen. Or, you know...

If A Game Lasts Longer Than Four Hours, Please Consult Your Doctor
A reader writes: "Hey guys, So I hate to have to play the "penis" card here, but somebody down in North Carolina needs to be admonished for selecting a logo with some very Freudian undertones."...

Antonio Bryant's Left Hand Can Snatch Eagles From The Sky
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Hey Steve, Have This Souvenir Cup!
The fans in Carolina are so polite. After sitting through an exciting Monday Night Football game and then being forced to do a lengthy SportsCenter wrap up, Steve Young was clearly too busy to run to the concession stand and get a tasty soda. So some helpful Panther backer decided to gently toss his...

Gator Fan Threatened With Gun
"A 51-year-old woman yelling "Go Gators" during Florida's victory over Alabama in the Southeastern Conference championship game had a gun pointed at her by a convicted felon who entered her apartment after he misunderstood the cheering for racial slurs." Sounds like justifiable homicide to me. [Dumb...

Stacey Dales Out At ESPN, Turns in Long Pantsuits and Microphone
According to an emailer, college basketball and football sideline reporter Stacey Dales could not reach a contract agreement with ESPN for 2009, so she'll no longer be chasing down coaches and players for the WWL. ESPN has confirmed that rumor....

Kige Ramsey Paints Word Pictures With Alabama-Florida Live Blog
If you weren't able to watch the Alabama-Florida game on Saturday, I hope that you at least had computer access so that you could follow along as Kige Ramsey live blogged the event. Yes, the YouTube Sports broadcaster and owner of many fine Kentucky Wildcats T-shirts once again tried his hand at liv...

College Football Roundup: The Big 12 Meets the SEC
It's Oklahoma and Florida for the BCS Title—an imperfect end to a season when no football team was perfect. Except, you know, Utah and Boise State. But they don't really count. What with their small conferences and even smaller media markets and exposure. The BCS is fair and impartial. Except, you ...

SHOTY First Round: Chris Cooley Vs. Caitlin Davis
Just two more first-round matchups until we reach the Elite Eight. We haven't had any truly close matchups yet, though it's early. Today, it's Hot Pants/ Naked Playbook Guy Vs. Hot Pants / Goofy Facebook Lady....

NFL Update 2: A Game Colder Than Your Obese Sister-In-Law
Dallas (8-4) at Pittsburgh (9-3). Wind chill this morning was at 7 degrees, which means Steelers coach Mike Tomlin will come out wearing Bermuda shorts and a tank top. Wade Phillips will enjoy one of the few benefits of "natural insulation" today. I don't understand how, at 8-4, everyone is counting...

NFL Update 1: Fantasy Football Is Not My Forte
Chicago 20, Jacksonville 3. If you drafted Matt Forte in fantasy this year, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! Yes, nice job taking a risk on a guy that was in every magazine's top 15 RBs. You're a real riverboat gambler! Forte has 52 yards on the day and the scorn of 11 of every 12 fantasy owners....