da Page 744 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steven Souza's Brilliant Catch Completes Jordan Zimmermann's No-Hitter
Nationals righty Jordan Zimmermann turned a 10-strikeout, one-walk no-hitter against the Marlins today, and Steven Souza capped it off with a thrilling catch in left field for the final out. It was the first no-hitter in Nationals history....
Steve Smith Is Gutting And Sautéing And Eating The Panthers
We've had this Panthers-Ravens game circled ever since Steve Smith got released from Carolina, warned everyone to "put your goggles on because there is going to be blood and guts everywhere," and signed with the Ravens. It was worth the wait....
<em>SNL</em> Cold Open Features "Ray Lewis" & "Shannon Sharpe" Talking NFL Issues
Saturday Night Live opened its 40th season tonight with the NFL, as Kenan Thompson and Jay Pharoah took on the personas of Ray Lewis and Shannon Sharpe, respectively, attempting to respond to recent scandals involving Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson....
Birds Everywhere In Columbia For Tense Missouri-South Carolina Battle
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Jacoby Brissett Refuses To Be Tackled; Puts FSU On Upset Alert
Would you look at that? Some quarterbacks can be dynamic and productive while not shouting profane reproductive advice in public settings....
Get It? Because Michael Sam Is Gay
(Replacing subtle racism with overt homophobia is not progress, South Carolina!)...
We Hope He Meets Charlie Strong At A Coaching Clinic
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Washington Keeps Serving Fans Skunked World Cup Beer
As if anyone needed another reason to hate Dan Snyder, it turns out that fans at FedEx Field have been getting served beer left over from a 2014 World Cup promotion. The shit isn't exactly fresh....
Old-Ass, Fat-Ass Bear Roams Around Canadian Neighborhood
The residents of Port Coquitlam, British Columbia, have spent the last few days hosting a very old, very fat, and very chill bear....
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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<i>The Daily Show</i> Goes In On Redskins Name Controversy
The Daily Show found itself in a bit of hot water recently when it filmed a piece on the controversy surrounding the name of the Washington football team, which you can watch above. Before the segment aired, however, Jon Stewart addressed the incident and explained why The Daily Show stood behind ...
Law Enforcement Official: We Sent The Ray Rice Tape To The NFL
A law enforcement official tells AP he mailed a copy of the inside-elevator video showing Ray Rice punching out his then-fiancée to the NFL's security chief, Jeffrey Miller, back in April....
So Normal It Hurts: The Triumph And Tragedy Of Phil Hartman
There were few thrills in preadolescent life as dependable as the voice of Troy McClure. That first resoundingly confident "Hi!" triggered a Pavlovian response like no other single syllable: Here, without a doubt, comes a belly laugh....
Juan Uribe's Kid Is A Dancing Machine
After the Dodgers won the NL West last night, one of Juan Uribe's four kids put on a show in the clubhouse. Lil' Uribe danced his lil' heart out....
Man, Is ESPN Gonna Be Surprised When Nobody Shows Up For <em>GameDay</em>
(That's Tillman Hall, on the campus of Clemson University, which is not the University of South Carolina and is not in Columbia.)...
Attention To Detail
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<em>South Park</em> Trashes The Washington Redskins; Watch The Highlights
South Park's season premiered tonight with a take on the Washington Redskins nickname and its trademark cancellation. If you missed it, here are the best moments. (Note that they were quick to replace RG3—who appeared in last week's teaser—with Kirk Cousins.)...
Lame Golfer Kids Attempt The Shmoney Dance, Killing Hot Dance Trend
Apparently some people are confused. The US Junior Ryder Cup team has been attempting to make their shitty interpretation of the Shmoney Dance their official celebratory dance, and some people are buying in. But this is good. This is teachable....
Attorneys In The Jameis Winston Case Are Going After Each Other
Florida State University has finally gotten around to conducting its Title IX-mandated investigation of the Jameis Winston sexual assault case, which means it's time for attorneys from both sides to start taking shots at each other....