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This Week In Insane Joe Paterno Conspiracy Theories

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John Elway Has Become That Dude Playing Dollar Blackjack At The Golden Nugget

This is from Sunday, but it's so priceless we had to take a look at it. John Elway, perhaps the greatest quarterback in NFL history, stopped by the booth for a conversation with Terry Bradshaw during this weekend's 49ers-Broncos game in Denver—and he came dressed quite curiously. Maybe this is haut...

USADA Will Have To Reveal Its Evidence Against Lance Armstrong

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: USADA head Travis Tygart says the info will be released in the coming weeks....

"Touching Me, Touching You": You Won't Hear Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" At Penn State Football Games Anymore

Somehow, "Sweet Caroline" has become a staple of stadium soundtracks nationwide. The song has been played in the middle of the eighth inning at every Red Sox home game since 2002. It's also been featured at Pitt football games—enough for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette to run a 1,000-word feature about...

Maria Sharapova Is Pimping Her Stupid Candy, And Other Important Storylines: A U.S. Open Preview

You could argue the turning point of the 2012 U.S. Open—which starts today—already happened. Well, three turning points, actually....

FUCK YEAH! IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Holy shit! It's here! It's finally here! The first day of school! SOMEONE PINCH ME ON THE ASS SO I KNOW IT'S REAL!...

Joe Buck Is Attempting To Grow A Beard

Joe Buck is an old pal of ours, so I must express some alarm at his current approach to facial grooming. It appears to be having a significant and negative effect on his colleagues, as seen before yesterday's Broncos-49ers game in Denver. The power of Joe Buck's protobeard has put Terry Bradshaw to...

Kansas City Royals Fans Spend $5,100 To Tell Owner David Glass To Get Lost

Kansas City. Kansas City, Kansas City, Kansas City. Things are bad in Kansas City. Real bad. Royals fans are looking to stop the madness. One fan, Joseph Accurso, decided to get a few buddies together and crowd source an open letter to Royals owner David Glass. $5,100 later and what you see to the r...

Want To Increase Donations To Your Charity? Stop Contesting Those Doping Allegations Against You

Why did Lance Armstrong's decision to stop fighting doping allegations—and thereby consent to being stripped of his seven Tour de France titles—drive up donations to his charity so sharply? Armstrong gave up the ghost Thursday; on Friday donations to the Lance Armstrong Foundation rose by a factor o...

Adam LaRoche Hit A Ball About As Far As Possible Without Hitting A Home Run

Bad break for the Nationals on this one. Adam LaRoche took Cliff Lee deep over the wall at Citizens Bank Park. Unfortunately, it hit flush with a small fence on top of the wall, bounced straight up and back onto the field. Jayson Werth thought it was a home run. Adam LaRoche thought it was a home ru...

The Rays and the Athletics have a rare scheduled Sunday off because of the Republican convention....

Jerry Jones Grounds Dez Bryant

Dez Bryant can't go to strip clubs anymore and has to be driven to practice and games by some omnipresent security force. He also has a midnight curfew, unless he tells the Cowboys that he will not be abiding the midnight curfew. With advance notice, of course....

Everybody Lost Two Different Horses Won The Travers Stakes

There was an actual tie yesterday at the Travers Stakes. Golden Ticket and Alpha finished in a dead heat, so nobody won. Or they both won? One of the jockeys said after the race, "Neither one of us knew if we won," and, while technically they both "won"—there were two separate first-place trophy pre...

Diamond Dallas Page Invented His Own Style Of Yoga: "If Yoga Is A Bicycle Then DDP Yoga Is A Harley!"

Some days you just have to sit back and thank whoever it is you thank for wonderful things that the internet exists. Here, for you reading pleasure, is professional wrestler Diamond Dallas Page (hereinafter referred to as "DDP") and his new brand of yoga. It is called DDP Yoga....

Rockets GM Daryl Morey Has A Counterintuitive And Analytic Reason For Giving Money To Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney is not a really popular guy, except in the Cayman Islands. Lots of people like him because he's not Barack Obama, and lots of people like him because his party's platform aligns with their personal views, but no one really seems to like Mitt for his essential Mittness. But Daryl Morey, t...

Sandusky Victim Sues Penn State For Deliberate Cover Up, Claims He Was Assaulted Over 100 Times

According to The Associated Press, the individual known only as victim 1, now filing under the name "John Doe C.," alleges that Jerry Sandusky sexually assaulted him at least 100 times—including fondling and oral sex—over a three year period and Penn State deliberately covered it up. Among other all...

NBC's <em>The 'Lights</em> [Sic]: Like <em>SportsCenter</em>, But With Sports

The morning after the London Olympics came to a close, NBC Sports Network (né Versus, né Outdoor Life Network) premiered The 'Lights, described by the network as as "a catalyst for our new programming lineup" that "will quickly provide sports fans all of the scores and highlights they crave as they ...

What The Hell Happened To Lance Armstrong? All Your Doping Scandal Questions, Answered

Some people pay attention to cycling. Others pay attention to cycling only when the most successful American cyclist of all time is banned from the sport and stripped of his seven Tour de France titles. If you're in that second group, Lance Armstrong's ban has likely left you with some questions. He...

All Seven Of Lance Armstrong's Tour De France Wins Would Now Go To Cyclists With Doping Scandals Of Their Own

Now Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his seven consecutive Tour de France titles, thanks to the persistent doping allegations against him. It's a sad day for the sport, but at least it vindicates all of the clean-riding cyclists who finished behind Armstrong. Right? So here are the runners-up wh...

Last Night's WNBC Evening News Featured A Graphic Only <em>Celebrity Jeopardy!</em>'s Sean Connery Could Love

Here's a lower third graphic teasing Bruce Beck's sportscast for last night's 6 p.m. news on WNBC in New York. It's a priceless find for anyone familiar with this wonderful moment in SNL history or those who occasionally miss spaces. (Or toilet bowls.)...