da Page 999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Break Out The Flat Top: Greg Ostertag Is Making A Comeback In The D-League
Without cheating, guess how long Greg Ostertag has been retired? It was only five years ago, when an out-of-shape Ostertag was playing limited minutes behind Mehmet Okur and mentoring a young Kris Humphries. But it's been even longer since he was effective, and longer than that since he played for a...
15 Years Ago, I Wrote A Fan Letter To ESPN. Here's Who Wrote Back.
I don't remember now what was in my letter, which I'd addressed to the very nonspecific "SportsCenter anchors." I'm sure it was your standard fan mail—"I'm a big fan, I watch every morning, I want to be on ESPN one day." I don't think I asked for a reply, and I definitely didn't ask for signed heads...
ShortCenter: ESPN Manufactures One Last Tim Tebow Story Before The Year Is Out
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Horrible Quotes About A Soccer Player's Torn Scrotum
From Andy Hessenthaler, manager for League Two side Gillingham:...
100 Percent Of The NBA's Asian-American Population Now Plays For The Knicks
The Knicks added Jeremy Lin to the roster last night in an effort to fix the fact that they have zero depth in the backcourt. He's the league's lone Asian-American player, and he's also the only Harvard grad in the pros. Get this kid a billboard....
A Plea For TV Networks To Show People Running Onto The Field
Big thank you to Drew for letting me guest this Funbag. Normally my day is filled with exploiting my elderly father for money (see: Shit My Dad Says), so it was a welcome diversion. I also used to write for the TV show of the same name, until America was like, "GOD FUCKING STOP THIS SHIT TAKE IT OFF...
Dottie Sandusky Maintains Her Husband's Innocence, May Go On Oprah With Him
Dottie Sandusky, who publicly defended her husband's innocence for the first time earlier this month, may join Jerry for another televised interview after the new year. Jerry Sandusky's lawyer, Joe Amendola, told the Harrisburg Patriot-News this week that the two may sit down with Oprah, Barbara Wal...
ShortCenter: Drew Brees's Record Inspires A Lot Of Man Love
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....
Sean Williams Left It All On The Floor Tonight
The Mavericks' Sean Williams made the most of his 11 minutes in a 115-93 loss to Denver—the forward, who spent all of last season in the D-League, tallied 12 points—but it was his performance after returning to the bench that brought his teammates to their feet....
ESPN's <em>Monday Night Football</em> Intro Featured Betty White Talking About How Hot Matt Ryan Is
ESPN's been slowing scraping the bottom of the barrel since jettisoning Hank Williams, Jr., and this holiday-themed Betty White intro was less funny than weird. What, the usual New Orleans staples of zydeco and Cafe Du Monde weren't available? ...
Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
There are various playoff permutations in play, plus two loaded teams meeting in the last game of most leagues' fantasy championships. It's Atlanta at New Orleans on ESPN, and the comments are the place to be....
NBA's Opening Day: A Knuckle-Deep Recap
The NBA's Opening Day spectacular matched such high-profile teams, it was hard to pick winners. Indeed, only a savvy gambler would have tried to take a day of entertainment and turn it into a gold-digging expedition. It all followed on a preseason in which the Mavericks went drilling for oil with t...
Even Santa Claus, Drink In Hand, Heckled LeBron James On Christmas Day
Hey, he had worked his ass off the night before, and he was really looking forward to going to the Mavs' opener, what with it being a Finals rematch and all. Can you blame him for wanting to clean up his beard, kick back with a gin and tonic, and let off a little steam? [That NBA Lottery Pick]...
Second Mile's Insurance Company Wants Nothing To Do With Jerry Sandusky
You know you are having a bad year when even an insurance company looks at you with that "yeeesh" look. Well, that is essentially what attorneys for Federal Insurance—the company that insures Second Mile—did in their recently filed lawsuit in federal court in Williamsport. The complaint argues that ...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...
About That Whole "Good Will Toward Men" Thing
It's Christmas Eve, but there was no peace on Earth in (apparently) heathen Hawai'i, as the first half of the Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl got ugly with a brief bit of violence after Southern Miss scored a touchdown to take a lead into the locker room. [ESPN]...
What The Hell Was Up With Linda Cohn Last Night?
We're generally fans of Linda Cohn, but last night's 11pm SportsCenter was bizarre. It started with a cold open featuring Cohn lamenting the onset of some kind of holiday-related depression, then continued to the above segment in which she seems genuinely surprised to be interviewing the New York ...
Gay Video Company Runs "Jerry Sandusky's Favorite Films" Series
In what's easily the most fucking reprehensible news to come out of the Jerry Sandusky affair outside of the actual offenses Sandusky's alleged to have committed, gay video online store TLAGay.com is promoting a "What Would Sandusky Watch?" series, featuring films with titles like Cold Showers and ...
Babies Left In Cars, Shots Fired, Doors Broken Down: Just Another Air Jordan Release Date In America
Nike re-released the Air Jordan XIs early this morning, which led to mini riots, gun shots, babies trapped in cars, and lots of blown paychecks (they run about $180 retail). But it wouldn't be a Jordan sneaker release day without a wash of mall crime across the country, would it? Here's a roundup of...
Charles Barkley: "Skip Bayless Has Surpassed Peter Vecsey As The Biggest Jackass In The History Of Journalism"
Following up on his earlier claim about "hating Skip Bayless more than any person in the world," TNT Inside the NBA commentator Charles Barkley launched another barrage in his media beef with the ESPN First Take pundit today on The Dan Patrick Show....