day Page 119 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Washington Wizards
The NBA season has started! And this is the last team we have to preview! They are: The Washington Bullets Wizards. When last we saw them: Finished 43-39, second in the Southeast Division and fifth overall in the East. Suffered what is becoming their annual "Elimination by the Cleveland Cavaliers" i...
Thursday Night Preview: #23 South Florida at Cincinnati
In keeping with the theme of the day, once the ESPN Thursday night programmer took a shit and put it into his ESPN issued lunchbox (the graphic on the lunchbox was Stuart Scott's lazy eye and the eye followed you when it moved.)Anyway, then the ESPN programmer collected Lou Holtz's spit and mixed i...
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss
And only, like, five people died! Seriously, this is the greatest, bestest thing in the world. As a fan of your favorite team, I hope you do experience it. I never, EVER thought i would. Yeah, that's a car tipped over. See you tomorrow! PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS! GOD, FUCK ME IN THE...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Utah Jazz
The NBA season has started! But, like, we still have two previews to go! Up next is a team that loves the pick-and-roll...and quiet evenings at home. They are: The Utah Jazz. When last we saw them: Finished 54-28, first in the Northwest Division and fourth overall in the West. Lost to the Lakers in ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The San Antonio Spurs
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that is NEW AND EXCITING!! (But not really.) They are: The San Antonio Spurs. When last we saw them: Finished 56-26, seco...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Toronto Raptors
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that I'm previewing before the Spurs. Sorry, San Antonio. They are: The Toronto Raptors. When last we saw them: Finished ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Sacramento Kings
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may get a royal flush right down the Western Conference commode this season. They are: The Sacramento Kings. When la...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Portland Trail Blazers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may be - just maybe - the next big thing. They are: The Portland Trail Blazers. When last we saw them: Finished 41-4...
Ashley Todd Is Your New Mike Cooper
This is Ashley Todd. Ashley recently made some news when she was was mugged near at ATM by "a dark-skinned black man" who, after finding out she supported John McCain, carved a "B" on her face for some kind of pro-Obama viral ad campaign. However, the cops got kind of suspicious when they saw the B...
Week In Review: What's the Frequency, Carl Monday?
Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy the...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Philadelphia 76ers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may be ready to drop a house on Boston's Wicked Witch of the East. They are: The Philadelphia 76ers. When last we sa...
Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Orlando Magic
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that puts the "Orla" in "Orlando." They are: The Orlando Magic. When last we saw them: Finished 52-30, first in the South...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Phoenix Suns
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that proves I can't friggin' spell. (The Magic preview will be up tomorrow.) They are: The Phoenix Suns. When last we saw...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Oklahoma City Thunder
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that isn't even supposed to be here today! They are: The Oklahoma City Thunder. When last we saw them: Finished 20-62, fi...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The New York Knicks
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that last season surpassed the Clippers as the punch line team of the NBA. They are: The New York Knicks. When last we sa...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The New Orleans Hornets
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that's generating a lot of BUZZ! (Sorry. I couldn't stop myself. Again.) They are: The New Orleans Hornets.When last we s...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The New Jersey Nets
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that only wants to clear enough cap room to lure LeBron win. Even if it's years from now. They are: The New Jersey. When ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Milwaukee Bucks
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that is at least as exciting as watching lint collect in your belly button: The Milwuakee Bucks. When last we saw them: F...
Thursday Night Preview: Florida State at North Carolina State and #8 BYU at #24 TCU
I suppose even the genius who schedules Thursday night games at ESPN is entitled to a mulligan. That's the only explanation for how Florida State at N.C. State ended up tonight's featured game. N.C. State is 2-4 and Florida State is 4-1. N.C. State has taken down William and Mary and East Carolina,...