day Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
U Can't See Me
No, seriously, Jamie Little clearly can’t see John Cena, today’s pace car driver....
When It's Just Not Your Day-ton
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Sports Highlight Of The Week: This Kid Eating It Over And Over
We did it, everyone. We made it through a long, boring week without any sports on but hockey. (Even though hockey is good and you should try it.) Celebrate with this child getting owned repeatedly....
Von Miller Explains Gravitational Waves On <i>Saturday Night Live</i>
Super Bowl MVP Von Miller made a guest appearance on SNL as Weekend Update’s science correspondent, and he’s not totally unqualified. As host Michael Che noted, Miller studied science at Texas A&M. (Poultry science.)...
My Friends, Look At These Baby Polar Bears
Pals, we’ve got two great baby polar bears here. ...
The Only Valentine's Day Message I Need
This Sunday morning, as I do on every Valentine’s Day, I will wake up to a message from my mother. Last year, it was a long email sent at an ungodly early hour, carrying all of her usual, heartfelt, holiday-appropriate sentiments: “Today is not only about boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives but...
<i>SNL</i> Lampoons Cam Newton & Peyton Manning's "Ebony And Ivory"
Cam Newton is the NFL’s newest MVP, and yet as much media coverage this season has been dedicated to his identity and expressions of it as it has his achievements on the field. Saturday Night Live took a run at the Panthers quarterback—and his Broncos counterpart, Peyton Manning—on tonight’s episode...
Nobody Makes A Fool Of This Very Good Super Bowl Predicting Bear
Look at this shit....
NBC And CBS To Split Thursday Night NFL Broadcasts Next Season
Here’s some good news for people who hate Jim Nantz and Phil Simms but love watching Thursday Night Football: You only have to deal with them for five games next year....
Man Improves Live Transfer Deadline Day Report With Enormous Inflatable Banana
This steely-eyed banana wielder, interrupting Sportitalia’s deadline day report outside Chelsea’s stadium, took it upon himself to carry on the proud tradition of the purple dildo guy. Only there was just so much the Italian reporter could take before turning the tables:...
This Polar Bear Sucks At Painting
Henry, a cool polar bear who lives in Australia, was put in a pen with some blank pieces of paper and non-toxic paint. Okay, Henry, let’s see what’s locked away in that artistic heart of yours:...
Very Chill Panda Loves The Snow Very Much, Yes He Does
Do you love the snow? Not as much as Tian Tian here you don’t....
Man Attempts To Squat 855 Pounds, Fails
This video comes with a pretty long lead up to the climax, but I’m urging you to watch the whole thing from beginning to end. You’ll appreciate the payoff that much more if you do....
A Good Big Bear And His Good Big Buddy
We’re usually not so keen on people trying to get real cuddly with a bear, because wild bears are dangerous as hell. But here we have big bear buddy who was born in captivity, and seems totally down to snuggle:...
Jessica Mendoza To Permanently Join ESPN's <i>Sunday Night Baseball</i> Broadcast
Here’s some good news for baseball fans: Former Olympic softball player Jessica Mendoza will remain in the booth for ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts this upcoming season. She will be joined by play-by-play man Dan Shulman and analyst Aaron Boone....
Report: Chip Kelly Was Fired In Part Because He Messed Up The Eagles' Holiday Party
Holiday parties are a wonderful time of the year where you can get drunk with your coworkers, contract gonorrhea from them, or in Chip Kelly’s case, hurry on your pending unemployment. CBS’ Jason La Canfora has a report from the aftermath of Kelly’s firing by the Philadelphia Eagles, and it’s pretty...
Happy Birthday, Rickey Henderson!
Today is a day to celebrate, among other things, the birthday of Rickey Henderson, a man who embodies baseball at its best so completely that it’s hard to do him any justice. Here’s to you, Rickey....
Enjoy Some Of The Most Ridiculous Christmas Wish Lists Ever Written
If you got what you wanted for Christmas, that’s probably in part because you didn’t ask for, say, “A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime.” This would set you apart from the authors of the lists below, some of whom got some of what they wanted, some of whom just couldn’t possibly hav...
What Is The Best Birthday Month?
PROGRAMMING NOTE: I’m outta here next week to go do Christmas things. You’re not getting a Funbag. You’ll have to go mud-sledding or something. Deadspin founder and artificial Georgian Will Leitch will be your Jamboroo guest host. ...
How The Hero Of <i>Friday Night Lights </i>Won And Lost His Good Name
Of all the real-life characters in Friday Night Lights, Brian Chavez would surely have been voted Least Likely To Be Caught Brawling After Permian High Football Games Into Middle Age....