day Page 70 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mankind's 10 Stages Of Drunkenness, According To Our Best Sportswriter
In honor of his new book (and in grudging acknowledgment of Frat Boy Thanksgiving), we give you Dan Jenkins's famous list, from Baja Oklahoma:...

Rob Ryan Is Having The Best St. Patrick's Day Weekend
Previously, New Orleans Saints defensive coordinator Rob Ryan had a lot of fun at Mardi Gras despite rainy conditions. Today's weather is better for St. Patrick's Day celebrations, and Rob Ryan is having a grand old time....

Irish Beers, Ranked
St. Patrick's Day is tough on a civic-minded, humanist boozebag. I love New Year's Eve and Thanksgiving Morning and Arbor Weekend and all the other "amateur hours" that too many self-proclaimed sophisticates haughtily dismiss, but Paddy's Day comes soaked with complications beyond the rivers of glit...

This Model Has Predicted 73 Of 74 NCAA Tournament At-Large Bids
Part of the fun of March Madness is obsessively guessing who'll fall on either side of the bubble, but a model known as the "dance card"—which has predicted 73 out of 74 at-large bids over the last two seasons—might be spoiling the surprise....

The Dadspin Guide To The American Snow Day
It's snowing. Again. I live in an area where the arrival of half a snowflake results in the absolute cessation of all business and public transport and hospital respirators, so school is closed. For the 90th fucking time. At this rate, my children will learn to read sometime around 2085....

The Hell Happened To Teddy Atlas Tonight?
We have no idea what possessed Teddy Atlas to launch this bizarre rendition of Harry Nilsson's "Coconut" in the intro of tonight's Friday Night Fights episode, but it's very weird....

Florida Man Chases Bear, Falls Down, Lies About Being Attacked By Bear
Florida Man has done a lot of ridiculous things, but his destructive lifestyle may have finally taken him one step too far beyond the bounds of good taste, for he has besmirched the reputation of an innocent bear....

Here Is Some Very Important News About Dick Vitale
I'd drop a "Slow news day?!?" burn here, but I'm willing to bet that every day is a slow news day for the Lakewood Ranch Herald....

The Rangers Took Their Team Photos In The Bathroom
Most MLB teams have held their photo days, and a few gems have emerged. But really, the true story each year is which team will be forced to get their photos taken in the bathroom. Congratulations, Texas Rangers!...

Scores Of Idiots Don't Realize Fox Is Airing Last Year's Daytona 500
Update: See bottom for newest idiots Fox News and ESPN. Today's Daytona 500 is currently in a weather delay, so Fox is airing last year's edition. Many NASCAR fans are incapable of reading the ticker at the bottom of the screen, and are live-tweeting the race out in excitement. Here are some of thos...


NASCAR Season Kicks Off With Pace Car Catching Fire
As if tonight's Sprint Unlimited race at Daytona weren't bad enough (wrecks and mechanical failures have left all of eight cars still on the track), the season-opening exhibition has been delayed further by the pace car catching fire....

The Kiss Cam And American Sports Fans: The History Of A Romance
To tell the story of the Kiss Cam, let's start with a kiss that happened off camera. On Aug. 8, 2000, Danielle Goldey and Meredith Kott attended a game at Dodger Stadium. At one point, as couples are wont to do, they smooched. Before long, security guards arrived, removed the women from their seats,...

You Can Be My Buddy Anytime: De La Soul's 25 Hour Valentine
For the next 25 hours you can download De La Soul's entire catalog over at their site....

We'd Rather See A Previous Iteration Of Al Roker On Skeleton
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Schools Are Putting Out Wonderfully Dorky Snow Day Announcements
Snow and ice storms have struck much of the eastern half of the country, restricting travel and shutting down schools. What's better than learning you've got a snow day? Learning you've got a snow day from an administrator's Vanilla Ice parody song!...

Russia Today Consults Security Expert Steven Seagal On Sochi Safety
Some security experts have suggested that with the eyes of the world on the Winter Games, terrorist elements could leave Sochi under siege. Indeed, with its location near contested Chechen territory, it's possible the world's athletes could be competing on deadly ground. With that in mind, the U.S. ...

What's The Deal With Bob Costas's Eye?
This morning, a reader wrote in to alert us to Bob Costas's appearance on this morning's episode of the Today Show. The reader wanted to know what the hell was going on with Costas's left eye, which appeared to be all kinds of messed up. So we reached out to Costas, looking for an answer....
