dc Page 158 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Series Of Modest Coincidences Proves Raptors Will Definitely Beat Miami
Who ya got in Game 7 today? If you don’t live in Miami or Toronto, the answer seems utterly moot: The amply rested Cavaliers, having backstroked through the first two rounds of the NBA playoffs, are going to be the overwhelming favorites in the conference finals. Meanwhile the Heat and the Raptors a...
Citing FIFA's New Power To Fire Him, FIFA's Independent Audit Chief Quits
The person with the most necessary job in the world, FIFA’s chairman of audit and compliance, has resigned, because FIFA’s top officials on Friday passed a measure that allows them to fire auditing, finance, and ethics officers at will....
Meanwhile, At The Soccer Halftime Show
How to not only get away with LARPing in public but actually be featured as an MLS match halftime show: declare it to be “Star Wars Night.”...
Barbecue Side Dishes, Ranked
It’s Friday afternoon and it’s rained for 900 consecutive days. Let’s fight about ranking barbecue side dishes. Are you ready? Here we go:...
A Good Cat Got Loose On The Field At The Angels Game
A nice cat escaped from somewhere and got onto the field at the Angels game this evening, ran around a bunch, leapt a wall, and ran through hundreds of bemused fans. The best part of this video is watching the reactions of cascading sections of fans as our friend here made his break for freedom....
Orlando Magic Head Coach Scott Skiles Unexpectedly Resigns
Orlando Magic head coach Scott Skiles has suddenly resigned, according to the team: ...
What The Hell Is Dwane Casey Doing?
Raptors head coach Dwane Casey has been put in an extremely unenviable position as he tries to guide his team to the Eastern Conference Finals. Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan have had their abilities banished to the Negative Zone, Jonas Valanciunas is out with a knee injury, and his most reliable scor...
That Is Not How The DC Comics Universe Works
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Harvard Man Lit Up
Yale beat Harvard today for the Ivy League lacrosse tournament title, winning its fourth trophy in five years and levying some punishment to its hated rival along the way—as happened to the Crimson’s Joe Lang here in the fourth quarter....
Crunch
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What Is The Most Pretentious Musical Instrument?
If you’ve ever heard Jack White go through his marimba phase, or seen a dude waltz onto a subway car holding a djembe drum, you know there are some pretty goddamn pretentious instruments out there. But which one is the worst offender, and why is it always the bagpipes? That’s the subject of this wee...
The Atlanta Hawks Are Being Whiny Babies
One of the best things about basketball is that it is not baseball. I enjoy both sports equally, but basketball has always had an edge in the not-employing-humorless-dickwads department, which means you rarely ever see NBA players or coaches talking about “class” or “playing the right way.” The Atla...
Everybody Is In Big Trouble If LeBron Finds His Jumper
There’s not much the Atlanta Hawks can say about the record-setting three-pocalypse the Cavs laid on them last night. Sometimes the ball just won’t stop going in the hoop, and all you can do is turn your palms up, shrug, and move on. What should concern the Hawks, and the rest of the remaining playo...
The Cavs Just Went Scorched Earth On The Poor Hawks
Tonight the Cleveland Cavaliers dropped an unholy beatdown on the hapless Hawks and put them into the toilet to the tune of 25 threes, 123 points, and 55 percent shooting from three. Every non-garbage time player who took a three hit one, and they smashed the NBA records for most threes in a half (1...
Farewell To Ted Cruz, Self-Made Sucker
Ted Cruz, the worst possible man, lost the Indiana Republican primary to Donald Trump yesterday. He’d staked it as his last stand in the nominating race, even brokering a cynical armistice with John Kasich to unify anybody-but-Trump voters in the state, and got clobbered anyway, by some 17 percentag...
Is The Live Sports Rights Bubble Finally Bursting?
Over the past decade, television broadcasters have bet that DVR-proof live sports will remain highly profitable, and shelled out tens of billions of dollars to acquire broadcast rights to the NFL, NBA, MLB, Olympics, World Cup, college football and basketball, and all other sports imaginable. Fox, C...
Reports: The Disagreement Between Chris Bosh And The Heat Over His Health Is Getting Messy
Miami Heat big man Chris Bosh hasn’t played since the All-Star break, after a reoccurrence of the blood clots that sidelined him last season. According to a number of reports, though the blood clots have dissipated, Bosh and the Heat are at an impasse about when he can return to the court, and the s...
What Is The Best Room For Holding An Orgy?
You may have heard that Tinder is testing out a new multi-person swipe function called Tinder Social that will, presumably, allow the nation’s swingers easier access to orgy participants and orgy planning. But how will YOU prepare for this erotic, utopian future where people are fucking in groups an...
The NFL Draft's Red Carpet Belongs To Ezekiel Elliot
The NFL Draft is here, which means NFL fans will get way too excited about that QB with tiny hands their team picked and college fans will yell at each other about where players from their alma mater got picked. But it also means pageantry, and a bunch of big dudes in suits. I’m not an expert, but I...
The Playoffs Are Shaping Up Nicely For The Cavs, Huh?
The Cavaliers finished off their sweep of the Pistons Sunday night, but almost as important as beating the Pistons 4-0 was how they did it. LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, and Kevin Love are all healthy, and for the first time in two years actually look like a cohesive unit. Irving is relieving James of...